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[优秀习作] issue152 此题频率排行榜第二,请大家继续斧正! [复制链接]

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Pisces双鱼座 荣誉版主

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发表于 2003-8-28 15:01:14 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
152"The only responsibility of corporate executives, provided they stay within the law, is to make as much money as possible for their companies."

I concede that making profits for companies may be one of the duties for the company leaders, however, it does not follow that it is the only responsibility for them. What they should also highlight is their potential environmental impacts, their company image, and the interests of customers.

First and foremost, corporate executives should consider whether the waste materials and the emitted gas have some pernicious consequences for the surroundings and even the ecological system as a whole no matter whether or not relative environmental regulations exist in the regions in which the companies locate. Environmental pollutions have been the pressing problems that plague the whole society seriously and have an ever-increasing tendency. Every people, executives included, should shoulder the responsibility for protecting environment from damaging. Once they have such consciousness, not only do their companies make long-term profits, but also it is beneficial for the sustainable development for the future generations. Admittedly, some international companies do obey environmental laws within their own nations, but many subcompanies they constructed in those nations where the laws are poorly developed may shirk their accountabilities for protecting environment, and consequently bring the dramatic calamity for local citizens. Empirical evidence shows that this activity will put our earth in the verge of endangering. Once the whole plant is damaged, what will the companies profits come from?

In addition, the company image is of paramount importance that surmount the importance of making money, which will benefit their companies in the long run. How can one imagine that a company with a vicious public impression can have the enduring development? To establish a positive image means to create active and upward environment for their employees to cooperate passionately and compete in a benign and helpful way. Otherwise, by taking proper actions such as increasing the salaries, and ameliorating the living and working conditions, the companies can motivate workers' initiative and creativity. Only doing these can the entire morale of the company can be improved and the image of the company will be formed. The future success is only counting on the days.

What's more, consumer's interests should be also given the tantamount importance. Of course, this point is also closely related to improve the image of the company. Admittedly, company executives might attract a large number of customers by overstatement and even the bogus ads which bring them with considerable short-tern profits. However, once consumers find their products are not so perfect as the ads advocate or even have inferior quality, no longer will they purchase their products, then it is impossible for these companies to make further profits. What's more, if companies are totally reckless for the consumers, they may damage consumers' health and even life, especially for those foodstuff and medicine companies. Therefore, consumer's interests should also be placed on an important position.

In conclude, to make money is only a trifling responsibility that corporate executives should take on as compared with the following ones: the environmental awareness, the image of the company, and the consumer' interests. Only doing all these things can companies have long-term success.

让西红柿,砖头来的更猛烈写吧!
Never,never,never,never give up !!
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Scorpio天蝎座 荣誉版主

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发表于 2003-8-28 15:16:44 |只看该作者

我也写过!

哈哈,这道我写过。不过现在在网吧,贴不出来。不过我的观点是完全同意,很反动的说。晚上我贴出来对比一下。
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荣誉版主 Sub luck

板凳
发表于 2003-8-28 15:21:57 |只看该作者
和木耳有同感
人家既然说了provided stay within the law
也可以从这里下手,同意完了重点讨论law的制定实施
有时候写一些反动的反而更顺呢
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地板
发表于 2003-8-28 18:49:11 |只看该作者
偶看了一下,感觉似乎前面比后面好些;有几个地方的用词似乎有点问题,比如可持续发展是sustainable development么?我一直以为是sustained development的,还有What's more, consumer's interests should be also given the tantamount importance. Of course, this point is also closely related to improve the image of the company.中的relate to后面应该接名词吧;还有就是似乎说的是甲重要,乙也重要,丙也重要,这样有没有问题不知道,感觉不是很对头,还有就是似乎例子有些少,说理比较多(这个是不是中国学生的通病?我自己也感觉经常举不出来例子)。
我们一直在努力!!

侵略美国!!!

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发表于 2003-8-28 19:22:39 |只看该作者
feifier,不错啊,词用的可真丰富,都不带重的
倒数第二段的reckless 后面最好指出顾客的反应
对了,高平题的题号有孙远的题号吗?????我没有猴哥的书
HZYX   :)

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Pisces双鱼座 荣誉版主

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发表于 2003-8-28 23:04:26 |只看该作者
谢谢jfly200和apple
可持续发展,我以前也用sustained development, 不知sustainable development 可不可以?在查查!
对,related to 后面接名词和动名词,我写错了。我三个段落的开头不好,显得三者都是头等重要了。我觉得要是写三者企业家都需要考虑,应该没有问题。谢谢你

apple,我已经在考题的那个帖子列出被考次数啦。
Never,never,never,never give up !!

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荣誉版主 Sub luck

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发表于 2003-8-29 01:09:45 |只看该作者
刚刚改完网络就又断掉了,TMD气得我都开始说粗话了
本来是下午4点多就改好了,结果到现在才,都1点了……极度angry

152"The only responsibility of corporate executives, provided they stay within the law, is to make as much money as possible for their companies."

I concede that making profits for companies may be one of the duties for the company leaders, however, it does not follow that it is the only responsibility for them. What they should also highlight is their potential environmental impacts, their company image, and the interests of customers.这三个好像彼此太独立了,这样写有点牵强,容易散掉

First and foremost, corporate executives should consider whether the waste materials and the emitted gas have some pernicious consequences for the surroundings and even the ecological system as a whole no matter whether or not relative environmental regulations exist in the regions in which the companies locate.(太乱了) Environmental pollutions have been the pressing problems that plague the whole society seriously(seriously多余,或者放到前边) and have an ever-increasing tendency(用which is). Every people (?), executives included, (??!)should shoulder the responsibility for protecting environment from damaging. Once they have such consciousness, not only do(will?) their companies make long-term profits, but also it is (前后平行得不好)beneficial for the sustainable development for the future generations. Admittedly, some international companies do obey environmental laws within their own nations, but many subcompanies they constructed in those nations where the laws are poorly developed may shirk their accountabilities for protecting environment(主谓宾混乱?), and consequently bring the dramatic calamity(calamity已经很大了,用不着dramatic,这种问题也是经常出的一种) for local citizens. Empirical evidence shows that this activity will put our earth in the verge of endangering(verge of 的就不是endangering了!再读!). Once the whole plant is damaged, what will the companies profits come from?这样结束好像不太好吧

In addition, the company image is of paramount importance that surmount the importance of making money, which will benefit their companies in the long run. How can one imagine that a company with a vicious public impression can have the enduring development? To establish a positive image means to create active and upward environment(?) for their employees to cooperate passionately and compete in a benign and helpful way. Otherwise, (otherwise是否则?好像otherwise并没有besides的意思)by taking proper actions such as increasing the salaries, and ameliorating the living and working conditions, the companies can motivate workers' initiative and creativity. Only (by)doing these can the entire morale of the company can (前边用了only谓语要提上去)be improved and the image of the company will be formed. The future success is only counting on the days.

What's more, consumer's interests should be also given the(the多余) tantamount importance. Of course, this point is also closely related to improve(improving) the image of the company. Admittedly, company executives might attract a large number of customers by overstatement and even the bogus ads which bring them with considerable short-tern profits. However, once consumers find their products are not so perfect as the ads advocate or even have inferior quality, no longer will they purchase their products,(句号,then重起) then it is impossible for these companies to make further profits. What's more, if companies are totally reckless for the consumers, they may damage consumers' health and even life, especially for those foodstuff and medicine companies. Therefore, consumer's interests should also be placed on an important position.

In conclude, to make money is only a trifling responsibility that corporate executives should take on as compared with the following ones: the environmental awareness, the image of the company, and the consumer' interests. Only doing all these things can companies have long-term success.

*******?像第4段,讨论得并不深入,感觉只是停留到了表面,论述现象,没有继续探索一些新的东西。
立题的方法欠考虑,这样写效果并不好。
和原来的差距不小。
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Pisces双鱼座 荣誉版主

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发表于 2003-8-29 01:24:36 |只看该作者
谢谢imong !感动ing

是啊,我的思路受嘉文博弈上那篇范文的影响,就写成这样的了。

那个executive included 的表达没有问题吧
otherwise 也有另外的意思。
Never,never,never,never give up !!

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Scorpio天蝎座 荣誉版主

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发表于 2003-8-29 10:58:18 |只看该作者

回feier521:我尽快贴出来

我受不了了!!
黑心的网吧(王八)老板竟然不装软驱!!害得我昨晚白跑了一趟。

满头大汗回到宿舍无理蛮横的把正在玩魔兽的同学赶下他的电脑,却怎么都上不去网。在旁人极度迷茫外加鄙视的目光下灰溜溜的逃走。

早上满会希望的去校机房,期盼着上天给我一次机会。可看机房的满脸横肉的中年妇女都没看我一眼,梦游似的和我说:看牌。转身一看,那白板上赫然写到:调试中,机房不开放。怀着满腔的羞愤,我再次杀入多脑河。。。

明儿就搬家了,要到长江那边的主校区去,可我那对破烂儿还没收拾呢!

靠,再这样下去我tmd不干了,大不了cancel掉重考一次,有什么了不起?!
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Pisces双鱼座 荣誉版主

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发表于 2003-8-29 11:40:37 |只看该作者
木耳,怎么回事啊,你以前怎么上网啊,宿舍是拨号的?
同情ing
imong 和木耳真是...,大恩不言谢。

我这两天也是烦死了!考,45分钟啥也写不出来了??失写了??暴郁闷...
木耳不要这样,还是要坚持啊......
Never,never,never,never give up !!

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发表于 2003-8-29 11:56:49 |只看该作者
feier不要郁闷,你只是失写,我从来就没写出过好文章来,俺都不好意思贴出来!!
木耳不要沮丧,天将降大任于斯人也,必先苦其心志,劳其筋骨!!!不要气馁!!!
我是面包,果酱面包!
坚硬的果酱面包

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Scorpio天蝎座 荣誉版主

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发表于 2003-8-29 12:09:05 |只看该作者
那是,我怎么会放弃呢?发发牢骚,平衡一下心情而已。
胡说了一通,心情爽多了。
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发表于 2003-8-29 12:15:59 |只看该作者
我想知道的是
这文章是在45分钟搞定的吗???

好像字数很多,我没有统计
但是我们作文的时候的
目标是在45分钟写出文章。。。。。。

所以我坚决反对写的太多:)
其实430左右就够了

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Pisces双鱼座 荣誉版主

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发表于 2003-8-29 12:39:37 |只看该作者
原稿是45分钟之内完成的,后来改了好几遍。

刚刚得知的天大的坏消息!!!
完了,听说从2号到6号学校网络中心搬迁,不能上网了。
:(,临考前来这么一手,完蛋了.......................
唉.........
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荣誉版主 Sub luck

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发表于 2003-8-29 13:14:58 |只看该作者
真不知道为什么这段时间所有地方的网络服务都集中罢工
TNND,可恶
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RE: issue152 此题频率排行榜第二,请大家继续斧正! [修改]

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issue152 此题频率排行榜第二,请大家继续斧正!
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