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本帖最后由 zlatan9 于 2012-3-15 15:26 编辑
Concerning the memo from the director of a large group of hospital, the writer made the conclusion that using the Ultraclean soap has a positive effect to reduction in patients infection. However, his explanations are limited, and the memo needs more explanation to support its convincing.
First, the analogy between laborary and hospital is absurd, and we must state that the two has a same background of study. It is surely that the environment of the laborary and hospital is different, and in common sence, the bacteria in hospital has a variety of spieces than that of the laborary. So, to make the analogy more convincing, we must state out that the two has a same background of study, such as type of bacteria, temperture and so on.
What is more, we need to provide the total number of harmful bacteria among this investigation. The author states that in the laborary study, the new hand soap produced a 40 percent greater reduction in harmful bacterial, and we do not know thet total number of bacteria, For instance, if the number is 10, and after the use of new wahser, 4 is cut, so, I do not think such data is convincing, and I do not think such minimal effects in reducing bacteria is useful in daily work.
Second, to support the argument more sufficient, whether the new type of the hand soap is the uique factor to produce the reduction is required. We need to mentioned that every hospital has a same effect facor that is the new hand soap. Without mentioned that there has no other factor in this test, it will be ridiculous to make the conclusion that the UltraClean hand soap is the key factor in reducing the bacteria.
Then, in this study, we should show out evidence whether the people who join the investigation has a same condition, such as health, the ability of immuning, and environment of every hospital. As there has different condition of the test taker, the result is surely to be difference. In this investigation, I think we need to clarify that everyone who joined has a equal condition of study, so that the result will be more convicing and trustful to readers.
Above all, the explanation of the argumnent is limited. To convince readers, the author is due to have other powerful explanation to support his ideal, such as mentioned above. So that, the statement will be much more trustful.
写的很匆忙,大家狠狠批。36min, 409 words |
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