issue37 （revised by realturtle）

grillUID: 138097

Competition maybe is the most fundamental character of a successful man .In this industrialized society, almost every piece of job, even our feelings, is becoming effective and quick. Competition inspires man to get more fortunes and consequently these fortunes make the society get ever richer. In fact, if no competition existed and all workers were satisfied their daily routine, man could have still stayed in forests like many other animals and things like radios, no electrical light, televisions, microwave ovens, not mention to personal computers all those now owned by many middle families will not come into our lives.
Competition takes an important role in human being's evolution. It is an underlying motive that made excellent genes came down from immemorial years. To survive rigorous environments, primitive man had to compete with hash weather and fight with animals to get food. Contrast with many animals such as lions and tigers, man is so week. Such harsh living conditions press man to cultivate their brain and develop kinds of skills and ways to expand their living space and enhance their living capabilities such as cultivate crops and domesticate animals, and thus man is getting more and more intelligence. Without fur like other animals having, to keep warm in the winter, man had invented clothes. In modern society, for getting a women's love, a man must be stronger enough and work hard to get money, status and even cudgel their brains for getting more attractive to court woman's love. So, the most outstanding man can get more women's love, and their excellent genes were passed down to more descendants.
It is exactly this competition that inspire man to invent .In commercial domain, this underlying motive lead energetic merchants even take a risk to invest and expand their business, thus more pole get employed and more goods are produced. In fact, competition among merchants can lead them to make out ways to lower commodity cost and some facilities are contrived for automation. This make products cheaper and valuable still, even with enhancing quality, benefiting the public by making people’s lives more easier. Maybe you can say "No competition, no progress", If primitive person contented with their own lives, this society couldn’t have come such a long way to this modern life.

However, Competition have its own limit features and will bring liability along it’s potential benefits. Random competition always leads to great tragedy. The well known Great Depression is a good example to make this suggestion clear. Because drived by profits, Profitable products were produced excessively. requirement can't keep up with provident. people have little money to by so much goods, Require-provide balance had been broken thus bankruptcy was so common in this period. Workers had to curtain their working hours and many products were thrown off like trash. America economy was greatly damaged in the chaos period.
Also, Jealousy, dishonesty, animosity , all those wicked traits always due to unhealthy competition. Jealousy is considered the most harmful things by sociascientists. Lost competition always leads to jealousy and conversely, jealousy also lead to unequal competition. A common student may hold grudge of a excellent student by the contemplation of superior advantages possessed by them. On the international field many if not most wars have been fought because of one nation’s envy to another’s territory. In scientific realm, Because of competition, every department keeps secret of their projective progresses from other department. However most rapid progress need extensive communion between experts through discussing and exchanging their information. These stimuli are the most effective headsprings for ideas .All these facts seriously stymie the progress of society.

Maybe you can say "No competition, no progress", If primitive person contented with their own lives, this society couldn’t have come such a long way to this modern life. No one can deny that competition is one of the most important and positive elements of human being’s feather in all societies. It’s a motivating force to drive man becoming more perfect and getting much capabilities to survive . Although almost everything has it's side-effect, but its positive effect are much greater.

realturtleUID: 69047

Competition maybe is(may be) the most fundamental character of a successful man .In this industrialized society, almost every piece of job, even our feelings, is becoming effective and quick. Competition inspires man to get more fortunes and consequently these fortunes make the society ever richer. In fact, if no competition existed and all workers were satisfied (with) their daily routine, man could have still stayed in forests like many other animals and things like radios, no electrical light, televisions, microwave ovens, not mention to(去掉to) personal computers all those now owned by many middle families will not come into our lives.第三句应该是你的主题句。
Competition takes an important role in human being's evolution. It is an underlying motive that made excellent genes came down from immemorial years. To survive rigorous environments, primitive man had to compete with hash(harsh) weather and fight with animals to get food. Contrast with many animals such as lions and tigers, man is(were) so week. Such harsh living conditions press(此处全用过去时态) man to cultivate their brain and develop kinds of skills and ways to expand their living space and enhance their living capabilities such as cultivat(cultivating) crops and domesticate(domesticating) animals, thus man is(were)  getting more and more intelligence(此处用形容词). Without fur like other animals having(这句不能这么说without fur as other animals is ok), to keep warm in the winter, man had invented (用invented即可不用过去完成式)clothes. In modern society, for getting a women's love, a man must be stronger (strong)enough and work hard to get money, status and even cudgel their brains for getting more attractive to court woman's love. So, the most outstanding man can get more women's love, and their excellent genes were passed down to more descendants.呵呵，你这个论述有点脱节，前面讲了半天原始社会，丝毫不提自然选择，基因好的往下传，结果马上下面一转眼到了现代社会。原始社会要说清楚一点，表明一直是竞争促使优秀的基因传下来。
It is exactly this competition that inspire man to invent (宾语呢).In commercial domains, this underlying motive leads energetic merchants even take(这句怎么两个动词啦？) a risk to invest and expand their business, thus more people get employed and more goods are produced. In fact, competition among merchants can lead them to make out ways to lower commodity cost and some facilities are contrived for automation. This make products cheaper and valuable still, even with enhancing quality, benefiting the public by making people’s lives more easier(more easier和产品质量提高有直接关系吗). Maybe you can say "No competition, no progress", If primitive person contented with their own lives, this society couldn’t have come such a long way to this modern life.哦，这段讲竞争促进发明，那你的发明的例子呢？怎么都跳到商业上去了？最后结论成了modern life, easier life被竞争促进了？^_^

However, Competition have its own limit features and will bring liability along it’s potential benefits. Random competition always leads to great tragedy. The well known Great Depression is a good example to make this suggestion clear. Because drived by profits, Profitable products were produced excessively. requirement can't keep up with provident. （注意你例子里的时态，不是现在发生的)people have little money to buy so much goods, Require-provide balance had been broken thus bankruptcy was so common in this period. Workers had to curtain their working hours and many products were thrown off like trash. America economy was greatly damaged in the chaos period.例子不错哦^_^
Also, Jealousy, dishonesty, animosity , all those wicked traits always due to unhealthy competition. Jealousy is considered the most harmful things by sociascientists. Lost competition always leads to jealousy and conversely, jealousy also lead to unequal competition. A common student may hold grudge of a excellent student by the contemplation of superior advantages possessed by them. On the international field many if not most wars have been fought because of one nation’s envy to another’s territory. In scientific realm, Because of competition, every department keeps secret of their projective progresses from other department. However most rapid progress need extensive communion between experts through discussing and exchanging their information. These stimuli are the most effective headsprings for ideas .All these facts seriously stymie the progress of society.这些例子都不错，涉及各个方面，而且对你这段的主题句扣合地很好。

Maybe you can say "No competition, no progress", If primitive person contented with their own lives, this society couldn’t have come such a long way to this modern life. No one can deny that competition is one of the most important and positive elements of human being’s feather in all societies. It’s a motivating force to drive man becoming more perfect and getting much capabilities to survive . Although almost everything has it's side-effect, but its positive effect are much greater.虽然你总结了你的positive的观点，你的negative sides说了两段，结尾还是应该给它们一些空间^_^

grillUID: 138097

谢谢美女MM评阅，^_^。
我很仓促的写过一遍，修改一遍就提交上来了，没想到有这么多低级的语法错误，真是才鸟一个。

我感觉自己的文章的确有很多不妥之处，句子不地道，l逻辑
欠推敲，起承转合不自然，总之要多多努力。而且写得太长了，废话太多。

总之，谢谢批改：）
好运喔:)