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[作文] 【Daily Writing】可他媽學點習吧,謝謝大家 [复制链接]

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发表于 2012-4-5 15:08:23 |只看该作者

April 5. Independent Writing

今天的題目我覺得有一點難,構思花的時間比較長,所以寫得很趕,感覺有些地方論證得還不夠充分,不過大家還是先批原汁原味的好了。。。
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发表于 2012-4-5 19:44:49 |只看该作者
总体还是感觉很不错的..至少比我好多了...值得学习..
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the pursuit of happiness

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发表于 2012-4-5 20:32:06 |只看该作者
17# yyyfor 多謝!怎麼最近沒有新作?我也好投桃報李~

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发表于 2012-4-5 21:35:21 |只看该作者
18# 可他媽學點習吧

清明堕落了几天..今天才回归...更新了一篇.希望能多拍砖哈...
the pursuit of happiness

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发表于 2012-4-6 13:28:04 |只看该作者
回改啦,谢谢帮我该作文,加油啦~~~
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Fight for Dream!!!

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发表于 2012-4-6 13:49:10 |只看该作者
今天可能要晚点才能改啦,谢谢前辈帮我改了呢!!

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发表于 2012-4-6 15:31:12 |只看该作者
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发表于 2012-4-6 16:30:08 |只看该作者
April 5, 110708 the friend that can have fun with are more important than the friends that can get more help from?



Speaking of the concept of "friend", what will come to your mind? I guess for most of people, they will think about having fun with them or getting help from them. Of these two different kinds of friends, I surely believe that the friends that have fun with are more important to me.

First, compares comparing to fun, help is much easier to get from other people instead of just from friends. Though we trust our friends best, but we have to admit that we still constantly get help from people that we are not very familiar with. So going to friends are definitely not the only choice when we need help. In other words, there can always be substitutes for the friends that you can get more help from.
我觉得从别人那里也可以得到fun,这个点的独特性有待论证。
Second, the friendship between helpfulness-based friends is too fragile if the helpfulness is being threatened. Also, I would prefer calling this kind of friendship as "partnership" because it is more like cooperation between two partners. For instance, for the friends who contact only when they need some benefit from each other, they would probably stop talking to each other or even thinking about each other if the benefit from either side has lost or even declined because they have never had anything else to talk about. So, I think I will not care about this kind of friends a lot.
这个点的展开挺好的。很小清新阿==

Third, in our personal lives, fun is not that easy to find from people except for friends. We need to notice that the TV shows, movies, pop stars or other entertainment styles, they might bring you a lot of fun. But they can never talk to you and listen to you with fun. Even sometimes, you have to hide something to your family. So friends that you can have fun with are probably the only people who you can open your heart to in your daily life. Once you lose friends like this, the loneliness comes afterwards can never be fixed by anything else.
这个论点其实是对第一个论点的补充,所以我觉得只能算作一个点。
So, based on all these reasons, to me, friends that you can have fun with are absolutely more important than the friends that you can get more help from. I think we all should do whatever we can to keep the friends that you have fun with.
楼主的文章语言非常简单流畅,学习了。。。
但是论点的安排还是要稍微调整下。
PS:我被您老关于文化大革命的那番话给镇住了,哈哈,也不知道楼主是学什么专业的,批判精神很足啊。。。那个年代的事情,的确很难用常理去解释,人性的疯狂本质啊。

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发表于 2012-4-6 17:28:14 |只看该作者
亲~我改好了,但是没有办法上附件,要不你把邮箱给我我发给你?
time is running out

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发表于 2012-4-6 17:39:58 |只看该作者

April.6 Independent Writing

本帖最后由 可他媽學點習吧 于 2012-4-6 19:31 编辑

4月6日 110319 do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Movies and television have more negative effects than positive effects on the way young people behave狀態不好誒,寫得好爛!不過反正考場上也有可能有起伏,批吧!我也自己改一份兒~
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发表于 2012-4-6 19:03:57 |只看该作者
已改哈,观点很独到
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发表于 2012-4-6 22:39:20 |只看该作者
只能说LZ太强了..以我的水平完全找不到语病..
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the pursuit of happiness

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发表于 2012-4-6 22:41:39 |只看该作者
仅供参考
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When in tough, progress comes.

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发表于 2012-4-6 23:56:01 |只看该作者
改 仅代表个人观点,相互学习吧,加油LZ!
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发表于 2012-4-7 08:16:34 |只看该作者
已改, 写得挺好的,加油!!!
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RE: 【Daily Writing】可他媽學點習吧,謝謝大家 [修改]
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