21号就要考了。求大神评分。。

sky念柒UID: 3283803

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged.Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate become more useful adults.Disduss both these views and give your opinion.

The relative inportant of competition and co-operate is a frequent topic of diacussion when people try to explain whether a child can become more successful adults in the future.

We now live in a morden time surrounded bu strong competition.Unless we tightly follow the pace of rapid developing society，we will be easily obsoleted.Children is the future of our world.For them,keeping up with the new time seems more essncial and necessary.They must have a stronger sense of competition to meet any big challenge occured and overcome it.

However,some people believe that cooperation occupy a more important proportion for children to be successful in terms of competition.We can see from the past facts that no matter how great an achievement acquired by someone,it will be attributed to numorous people`s effects.In the morden society,cooperation become more vital and is taught and needed both in schools and in companies.

I personally believe that some children do need a sense of competition.Such ability can give individuals a facility to excel in some aspects,while others may never accomplish.But,it is absolutely not enough for most children to only good at competiton in the world made up of various kinds of people,Without the cooperation,continuous conpetition will make the world hard and relentless,However,without the competition,people may become easily satisfy,which will hinder the progression and development of our society.

In conclusion,I agree that children should be encouraged to compete with others and to learn to co-operate.Only in this way can we have a increasing progressive and promising future.

bqianaUID: 193168

5.5-6

xuroujinUID: 3277189

可能来得晚了~但是你的开头和body两段还需要加强，如第一个body没有topic sentence，这样的文章应该是肯定小于5.5了。。尤其还有we这类的主观词汇。。

leivs88UID: 3172580

2# bqiana

做个对比吧你看看我能有几分，我这篇也被外教改过了，反正就是简单句多。。。。。。。。。。。。


Now, there is a heated debate about whether children should be encouraged to compete with each other or be taught to co-operate.
Those who advocate the former reason think children should cultivate the sense of competition due to the fierce society. With the development of technology and science, people are not the older generation used to be when they lived in a more easy and comfortable environment. It is known to all that same products compete significantly with each other just like human. If they do not bear in mind what competition is, they will fail compared with other children. Moreover, competition is a best way to gain both failure and success. In case children cannot bear the failure in future, they should learn from childhood. It is impossible that you can win every competition. The setback education for young children is the main part of the quality education for them. Besides, children can learn some merits from competition while they have not been developed fully.
But others are not in favor of the opinion. They support that competition with each other shows egoism which has bad effects in children. They will become more selfish and consider their own merits. It is too early from them to enter the adulthood. They should enjoy their childhood and do something suitable for their age. They are supposed to cooperate with each other and know the importance of team work. They regard cooperation as a vital development for children mental heath.
From my perspective, the modern world is full of competition. Among adults, there is competition for jobs and amongst children there is competition at school. I believe that it is important to get children used to competition from early age, so that they are better prepared for life.

leivs88UID: 3172580

3# xuroujin
你帮我看看我的怎么样，虽然我被外教改过，但是感觉我一直就写简单句，不知道怎么下手写点高级点的句子，谢谢啊！

bqianaUID: 193168

there is a heated debate about 这样的模版还在用。。。

bqianaUID: 193168

They support They will  They should They should They regard If they
With the development of technology and science