Issue26 求拍，请大家指教

flwmhUID??3163882

26  The luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals.
    Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
Analysis:
    1) The luxuries and conveniences may make the body weak, and let the people rely on many facilities. Example: car, computer, phone.
    2) The aim of human development is seeking for the comfortable life and the unknown things that have appeared or not.
    3) The luxuries and conveniences are good for us to put our saved time and energy to discover new methods to improve our life.
    4) We are now still in some place of a mountain, because a lot of things, having appeared to us like global warming and the longer life, need us to deal with.
    5) Conclusion: our present luxuries and conveniences, products of technology, may make people’s body weaker, but will let us have more time and energy to be stronger and more independent in ideology to confront problems.
Essay:
    With the development of technology in the human development process, especially in the recent centuries, people are getting more and more luxuries and conveniences from its productions (like car, plane, and computer), used more frequently to improve the efficiency of something with less time than before. So many people ask if the luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life will prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals. As for as I am concerned, this issue is one-sided.
    As the world is rapidly developing with amazing increase of technological products, people are getting more and more to depend on them to deal with something quickly, in which way our body may get weaker and weaker than our predecessor. Workers today armed with advanced equipments can easily lift big board from ground to a high height in the process of constructing a tall building, and also can efficiently construct many long highways. Farmers can spray the pesticide for a large farmland in few minutes with the help of plane. People can cost fewer time to go somewhere like school and workplace with their car instead of their foot. People, just giving one press to the button of equipment, can deal with all these things without personally. In this way may be our body getting weaker and weaker without enough labor like our predecessor.
    However, that is no say the luxuries and conveniences prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals. On the contrary, the luxuries and conveniences make people to be stronger and more independent individuals in ideology. Why do we have these products of technology now? The aim of human development is seeking for the comfortable life and the unknown things that have appeared or not. These things, products of people’s hard work overcoming challenges one by one in the human development process, become more and more intelligent and useful to serve people. We can see that people have got many improvements based on their predecessor’s achievements, such as car, plane, and computer, and making people’s life better than before. If the aim is not this, we are now still threaten by animals and diseases like our ancestor without bread, house, good clothes, or even have been extinct many thousand years ago.
    How can these things be good for people to be stronger and more independent? The luxuries and conveniences like car, plane and computer nowadays helping us (like workers, farmers, and ‘drivers’ above) to do a lot of tired work, are good for us to put our saved time and energy to discover new methods to improve our life. Will people stand here without any step? No. The process of human development is like climbing the mountain, as no one knows when we can get the peak or there is no the peak. We are now still in some place of it, because a lot of things, having appeared to us like global warming and the longer life, need us to deal with. So we have to be and will be more broad and insightful views about the future life, when climb a higher step after overcoming one challenge.
    In conclusion, our present luxuries and conveniences, products of technology, may make people’s body weaker, but will let us have more time and energy to be stronger and more independent in ideology to confront problems. If we spent some time on taking exercise, will our body get weaker?

flwmhUID??3163882

求拍！！！先谢谢大家！！

flwmhUID??3163882

求拍！！！先谢谢大家！！

木槿不说话UID??2898647

片面的，我觉得more and more 形式用的太多了
这是个比较用的烂的形式

flwmhUID??3163882

谢谢“片面的，我觉得more and more 形式用的太多了
这是个比较用的烂的形式”指教:handshake

木槿不说话UID??2898647

5# flwmh
额 求互改~~
我有一个A贴上来…
水平很低啦 见笑啦

flwmhUID??3163882

6# 木槿不说话
我去看看，我也水平也很低。共同努力。

flwmhUID??3163882

6# 木槿不说话 关于Lei 的argument意见已在回复里了哦。。