issue210

玲珑女UID: 142984

210. Most people choose a career on the basis of such pragmatic considerations as the needs of the economy, the relative ease of finding a job, and the salary they can expect to make. Hardly anyone is free to choose a career based on his or her natural talents or interest in a particular kind of work.（行为类）

Most people, in the rapid development of society, who want gain comfortable and cozy life and achieve their own hope force to choose a career on the basis of such pragmatic considerations because the needs of the economy. As the first condition of living, money has to be earned by those people who have their nice hope can only select a job which has the proper salary they can expect to make. Anyone seldom can find a job which not only satisfy their salary's demand but also base on their natural talents or interest in a particular
kind of field.

First of all, the fast developing society is the main cause in that the rapid development of society lead the people should keep up with the same pace so as to hardly wash out by this society. For instance, computer and English, as we know, are the two indispensable skills of modern people so that almost fields of society will use them. If someone worked in those fields unable use the computer and speak English, they will be washed out. So, as a conclusion, much people should select a career which base on the pragmatic considerations.

In additions, the press of living is the other cause because the human's first demand is alive. The people who choose the job he like may have very little money which can hardly reach the lowest level of daily living. Furthermore, there are some jobs which can satisfy the demand the living, those people who have the problem of living will consider these jobs and give up their natural interest. For example, nowadays, the communication technology develop rapidly and those people who work for communicational company will earn more money than normal job. So many students in university will choose the communication subject as their object although they may like the literal of ancient. From this example, we can learn that the salary which they can earn is the main cause their choice the job.

Admittedly, we should encourage people to select their natural and interest in choosing their job and shouldn't encourage many people select a few modern and high salary job only for earning more money. The youth should have select their own interest and develop their natural talents for every field of society so that the society can develop rationally. As F.Bacon, the famous philosopher of British, says that "There are many thing more important than money." From the developing insight, society should develop in every field not in some modern or high earning field only.

In sum, the job which we choose will base on such pragmatic considerations as the needs of the economy, the relative ease of finding a job, and the salary they can expect to make. On economy basis we can properly select our own natural talents or interest.

blake_wangUID: 9871

好久不见玲珑女了，看过你的文章，觉得你的水平不低。

1,force to -->are forced to. here a passive tense should be used.
2,because the needs of the economy-->because of the needs of the economy.
3,As the first condition of living, money has to be earned by those people who have their nice hope can only select a job which has the proper salary they can expect to make. --->confusing sentence. I believe, you can write good sentence if time is unlimited. however, you 're better off write simple sentence in 45 minutes.
4,来点儿中文吧，强烈建议你考场上写短句，除非你非常sure的长句子。你的思路还比较清晰，词汇还比较丰富，45分钟写成这样已经很不错了。

玲珑女UID: 142984

我这几天在埋头看Issue题目和Argu题目，所以很少来寄托家园，每次来都能得到大家的关爱，感动中……^_^
To blake_wang：你说的也有道理，只是我写文章时不知不觉就把句子拉长了（习惯吧），我现在唯一害怕的就是怕在考场上写不出来（那就惨囉，呵呵），所以在写句子时可能还在想思路，不知不觉就把句子写长了。呵呵，不过还是要谢谢你的评阅，Thx！

alexandra8204UID: 138807

不错不错 语言流畅而且每段条理好清楚啊 大大的有希望 加油:)

realturtleUID: 69047

210. Most people choose a career on the basis of such pragmatic considerations as the needs of the economy, the relative ease of finding a job, and the salary they can expect to make. Hardly anyone is free to choose a career based on his or her natural talents or interest in a particular kind of work.（行为类）

Most people, in the rapid development of society, who want to gain comfortable and cozy life and achieve their own hopes are forced to choose a career on the basis of such pragmatic considerations because the needs of economy. As the first condition of living, money has to be earned by those people who have their nice hopes can only select a job which has the proper salary they can expect to make. 这句不通，句法结构有问题。Anyone seldom can (can seldom)find a job which not only satisfy(satisfies) their salary's demand (his or her)but also base on their(his or her) natural talents or interest in a particular kind of field.

First of all, the fast developing society is the main cause in that the rapid development of society lead the people should keep up with the same pace so as to hardly wash out by this society. 这句又不通，出现两个谓语，把should keep up改为to keep up. For instance, computer and English, as we know, are the two indispensable skills of modern people so that almost every field of society will use them. If someone worked in those fields unable to use the computer and speak English, they will be washed out. So, as a conclusion, much people should select a career which base on (base on从来都是be based on的用法)the pragmatic considerations.

In additions, the press of living is the other cause because the human's first demand is alive(alive此处不妥，意义和用法方面). The people who choose the job he likes may have very little money which can hardly reach the lowest level of daily living. Furthermore, there are some jobs which can satisfy the demand of living, those people who have the problem of living will consider these jobs and give up their natural interest.(两句之间差连接词) For example, nowadays, the communication technology develop rapidly and those people who work for communicational company will earn more money than normal job(这里是人和人比较，不是人和工作比较). So many students in university will choose the communication subject as their object although they may like the literal of ancient(ancient是形容词). From this example, we can learn that the salary which they can earn is the main cause their choice the job.

Admittedly, we should encourage people to select their natural and interest in choosing their job and shouldn't encourage many people select a few modern and high salary job only for earning more money. The youth should have(why use have here?) select their own interest and develop their natural talents for every field of society so that the society can develop rationally. (这句论证起来，学生发展兴趣和才能，在各方面，社会就可以rationally发展？缺乏很明显的逻辑关系)As F.Bacon, the famous philosopher of British, says that "There are many thing more important than money." (这句似乎对你的论证起不到作用，倒是可以用来说，钱之外有很多东西更重要，比如工作给人的成就感，和别人的cooperation，用来论述不一定工作就是为了钱)From the developing insight, society should develop in every field not in some modern or high earning field only.

In sum, the job which we choose will base on such pragmatic considerations as the needs of the economy, the relative ease of finding a job, and the salary they can expect to make. On economy basis we can properly select our own natural talents or interest.你只总结了你for的观点，你自己转折部分的观点没有总结进来。

abstinentUID: 137004

well-organized  and well-reasoned

保守的打4.5

abstinentUID: 137004

我也是武汉的 你什么时候考啊？？

玲珑女UID: 142984

to：realturtle
看到你的评阅，真的很惊讶，今日得见高人啊，呵呵，你的评阅好仔细，看了你的批改后收获颇丰，谢谢！：）
to abstinent：
也谢谢你的关照，我25号考试！

玲珑女UID: 142984

to：realturtle
看到你的评阅，真的很惊讶，今日得见高人啊，呵呵，你的评阅好仔细，看了你的批改后收获颇丰，谢谢！：）
to abstinent：
也谢谢你的关照，我25号考试！^_^