求大神批改作文 512 考 求提高 跪谢

Aria~UID: 3296962

tpo14

People benefit more from traveling in their own country than from traveling to foreign countries.

Travelling is nowadays gaining increasingly
heat for no matter old and young, black and white,however,where to travel seems to be a universal problem for everyone as well. Those
who claim travelling within their own country is better than to other countries may insist on the idea that domestic places of interest are of more convenience to get to and their own culture is to some extent more useful.However,I have to say that I totally disagree with this statement that travelling in their own country being more beneficial than abroad.

To start with,as to contribute more to our own country,being aware of others' culture may be more significant than just knowing about other regions within the country. A wide spread saying of Sun Tze,a famous Chinese philosopher, goes as: getting a full understanding of us and the enemy is the key ingredience to win a battle. It indicates the importance to be aware of other advanced technology and special tradition, which may provide us with the knowledge to develop our country more wisely and support us to better communicate with and trade with them. Without a proper understanding of foreign culture, unexpected emergencies will definitely strike negative influence on China's development both economically and culturally.

Furthermore, even though there are differences between regions within China,travelling abroad ought to be a even more challenging experience. No one could ever deny the purpose to travel is to relax oneself from the routine life and to track something new in other parts of the world, which is shared by most people.Consequently,in an absolutely strange country, with everything new and exotic, even with a different language, this can be described as a journey more exciting and informative, where people will gain much more from than just travelling within the country.

All in all, positive as traveling domestically seems to be, most of the time,travelling abroad is a more beneficial approach both for individuals and the country.So,I am strongly approval of travelling abroad rather than travelling in the own country.

Aria~UID: 3296962

有木有好心人

秋雨荆州UID: 2903781

建议楼主和其他同学互改~ 2# Aria~

beanie加油UID: 2843548

我也512考,加油,lz!
个人觉得从语言上来说,有些地方lv你的措辞如果能连贯些就更好了.一个完整的句子比几个分句放在一起我觉得要好些.
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Aria~UID: 3296962

3# 秋雨荆州

ok

Aria~UID: 3296962

恩 谢谢指点 我作文刚刚开始准备 真的是手忙脚乱 没有头绪

Aria~UID: 3296962

tpo5 这个学的着实很垃圾
People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment-doing things they like to do-rather than doing things they should do.


It is maybe due to the dramatic development in living standard of ordinary people that they have more access to recreational activities than ever before and they tend to attach more importance to personal feeling fulfillment rather than responsibilities they carry as members of the society.Consequently,there is a controversy going as some people claim that people today spend too much time on personal enjoyment and neglect those things they are supposed to do.However,I have to argue an opposite view.

To initiate with,the ultimate goal of one’s life is to gain happiness, according to the philosophy of Aristotle, which I believe no one can deny.So people prefer to do things just out of pure enjoyment is an indisputable instinct. For instance, a survey conducted by Yale University has shown that people are more happy when they are able to do things they actually place interest in,while they will feel depressed and upset when they are forced to do things they ought to finish because of the need for basic life.As a result,it is ubiquitously acknowledged about the serious consequence of being stressed and exhausted. I think it is more beneficial to do joyful things other than routine jobs.

What’s more,doing things of enjoyment doesn’t mean they are having trouble finishing their required works,which indicates there is not any harm for people to do more recreational activities.We adults all have formed a systematical mind and it goes without saying that most of us will never interfere our duties because of the strong desire to relax.From my perspective,people are more prone to participant in enjoyment activities as a measure to relax and gain happiness.Furthermore,adequate relaxation will strike positive influence on people’s required work.

To summarize,it’s not something deserve to be condemned that doing recreational things,since it is one of human being’s instincts to chase their preference.Also,doing enjoyment activities can to some extent contribute to better working outcome.So,as far as I’m concerned,people doing things for enjoyment is not a bad thing and people ought to get rid of their bias .

秋雨荆州UID: 2903781

1# Aria~

Aria~UID: 3296962

8# 秋雨荆州

Thanks a million for your constructive advice.
我觉得你的水平真的很好

希望能多多向你求教  同加油

Aria~UID: 3296962

8# 秋雨荆州
还想请问前辈 我这篇作文在未修改前 能达到fair里的几分

Aria~UID: 3296962

Television advertising directed toward young children(aged two to five)should not be allowed.

Television advertising is one of the most crucial means of advertisements currently. It is a special technique of introduction of products towards potential customers, among which young children aged 2 to 5 take a proportion as well. Some people claim that TV ads towards children are inappropriate, while I have to object to this statement. I believe it is not necessary to forbid television advertising toward young children.

The primary reason for my opinion is that children at the age of 2 to 5 may benefit from ads rather than be badly affected. Children are curious about all things. At the same time, they are not mature enough to fully understand the meaning of ads, on the contrary, they tend to just simply enjoy the vivid colors and moving pictures. If you ask your 3-year-old nephew what he likes most about TV advertisements, he probably will give you an response saying that the cute Mickey is impressive while he is unlikely to ask to be taken on a trip to Disneyland. What's more, more contact with ads can promote brain development, especially for children whose brain is still at the stage of evolvement, which is to say age 2 to 5.

My second point refers to the purchasing power. It goes without saying that it is parents that actually pay the bill even though the products are for children. Advertisements towards children are ultimately towards parents. Consequently, despite the lure of ads, adults are skillful and rational to differentiate good from evil, which indicates that ads are improbable to produce a negative influence.

Furthermore, advertising is a principle method for manufacturers to increase demands. Suppose TV ads are banned to run, the manufacturers will subject to an enormous loss, since ads definitely play a significant role in promoting sales. If government strictly forbid TV advertising toward children, taking the little effect towards children into consideration, damages will be committed to factories. To some extent, it is not a reasonable choice to prohibit these ads.

In conclusion, TV advertising towards young children is appropriate, no matter from which perspective, the prohibition of ads will do harm and is certainly an unnecessary move. We should balance between advantages and disadvantages when viewing this issue. Therefore, I strongly disagree with the statement that television advertising directed towards young children should not be allowed.

Aria~UID: 3296962

没人理啊

秋雨荆州UID: 2903781

HI~快联系版上的大侠加入写作小组哦！ 12# Aria~