Issue130 儿童的社会化。Feier,木耳，imong,幸福的人帮我看看吧

QQsugarUID: 136441

130"How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."
    No society would be thrive, or even survive, if the majority of its children are dissocial, fatuous or introverted; Nor would it be prosperous once its children fail to recognize their own obligation owned to society or to their own. In this respect, the speaker is on the right ground to assert that the socialized degree of children determines the destiny of society. However, not so optimistic as I am, I still see that the speaker's later worry has indeed derived from an exaggerated concern of the existing problems in children education. As for me, although there are still weaknesses in our ways of cultivating children, and in fact there would never be a perfect way for it, we have really made significant progress over the last decades, in the formal education or in family cultivation.  The future is bright before us.
     I propose one of the basic objections of higher education the best illustration that modern society has really made a progress to cultivating sufficiently socialized children. Unlike its elegant past when it is specially designed to meet the needs of the happy few such as the noble class, modern education is now available to all and correspondingly defines its aim as cultivating students who are not only capable and enlightened individuals but also qualified citizens.  This transformation of educational objection is expected to produce interesting children and actually it has attained its goal. Nothing has ever been ignored in intensifying the students' skills in communicating, cooperation as well as a decent leadership. All these are accompanied by the equipment of students to adapt to such and such a kind of detailed profession within the social context. The annual ball or relevant activities now prevalent in our campus gives the children an opportunity to horn their intercommunicating ability. And more important than that, our students are now required to participating in community services every year, which help them to have a clear appreciation of society around themselves, as well as intensifying their own responsibilities. In a word, our formal education has really witnessed a significant change, which is more conductive to educate the future generations to be well socialized.
     Aside from the formal education, the family cultivation of children has also experienced a subtle change in character.  Parents, who are much more busy than they ever were, now favor to encourage children to be independent in an early stage, psychologically or economically. Consequently, children are seldom subservient to traditional family bondage, which esteems them as simply "inexperienced" children. They are socialized in an early age when they spend time together with large groups of peers, in kindergarten or in community parks. To make things better is, the contemporary parents seem to be wiser to treat their children in an equal manner, respecting their intellectual level and sharing the ideas with them. That is to say, the gradual diminish of authority in a family creates a more compatible atmosphere for children to adapt to the family, which is actually the mimic society. In the final analysis, what I want to point out is that we should never turn blind to the mass media such as television and Internet, which is now a not unfamiliar term for ordinary children in America. Undoubtedly, they also play a vital role in inculcating the social information and concepts about it into the children's heads and gradually shaping them. It is no longer a secular world now in the family, and in fact, there are always windows there to show children a larger society behind to which they much adapt to, for more or less.
     To sum up, our children seem to stand in a position more beneficial for them to get adapted to the society even at an early stage. Like it or not, they are adapted to the larger society in this way or that, whether in school or family. Therefore, it is really an unwarranted worry that we have no ways to treat children in a more socialize-favored manner. In fact, the worry might be best appropriate under other circumstances.

雨&彩虹UID: 132532

时间关系我只大概的看了一下你的结构。这篇文章分两部分，你是同意作者的前部分，否定后部分。但是在你文章的主题部分，只对你否定的部分进行了论证，而对前部分没有提及。这样是不完整的。

QQsugarUID: 136441

彩虹，谢谢你的建议。但我的理解是肯定前一部分，也就是儿童的社会化会影响到一个社会的命运，我觉得这一点是比较明了的。而值得争议的是题目中谈到的我们的社会并不懂得怎样培养合适的接班人。 我的论证就侧重于儿童的社会化程度加深这点来论证的。
还有哦，我觉得这个题目挺难的，如果有什么好的想法大家都畅所欲言吧。。。

imongUID: 140258

https://bbs.gter.net:8080/bbs/showthread.php?threadid=136129

https://bbs.gter.net:8080/bbs/showthread.php?threadid=136784

https://bbs.gter.net:8080/bbs/showthread.php?threadid=136785

feier521UID: 109747

130"How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."

No society would be thrive, or even survive, if the majority of its children are（is） dissocial, fatuous or introverted; Nor would it be prosperous once its children fail to recognize their own obligation(s) owned to society or to their own. In this respect, the speaker is on the right ground to assert that the socialized degree of children determines the destiny of society. However, not so optimistic as I am, I still see that the speaker's later worry has indeed derived from an exaggerated concern of the existing problems in children education. As for me, although there are still weaknesses in our ways of cultivating children, and in fact there would never be a perfect way for it（上面两句话，有点重复）, we have really made significant progress over the last decades, in the formal education or in family cultivation. The future is bright before us. (QQsugar多长时间写完了这篇文章？要是超时的话，第一段不必写那么长的)

I propose one of the basic objections of higher education the best illustration that modern society has really made a progress to cultivating（？） sufficiently socialized children. Unlike its elegant past when it is(was) specially designed to meet the needs of the happy few such as the noble class, modern education is now available to all and correspondingly defines its aim as cultivating students who are not only capable and enlightened individuals but also qualified citizens. This transformation of educational objection is expected to produce interesting（不大好） children and actually it has attained its goal. Nothing has ever been ignored in intensifying the students' skills in communicating, cooperation as well as （a? leadership不可数吧） decent leadership. All these are accompanied by the equipment of students to adapt to such and such a kind of detailed profession within the social context. The annual ball or relevant activities now prevalent in our campus gives the children an opportunity to horn their intercommunicating ability. And more important than that, our students are now required to participating（？） in community services every year, which help them to have a clear appreciation of society around themselves, as well as intensifying their own responsibilities. In a word, our formal education has really witnessed a significant change, which is more conductive to educate（educating） the future generations to be well socialized.

Aside from the formal education, the family cultivation of children has also experienced a subtle change in character. Parents, who are much more busy (busier) than they ever were, now favor to encourage children to be independent in an early stage, psychologically or economically. Consequently, children are seldom subservient to traditional family bondage, which esteems them as simply "inexperienced" children. They are socialized in an early age when they spend time together with large groups of peers, in kindergarten or in community parks. To make things better is（有is吗？）, the contemporary parents seem to be wiser to treat their children in an equal manner, respecting their intellectual level and sharing the ideas with them. That is to say, the gradual diminish(ing) of authority in a family creates a more compatible atmosphere for children to adapt to the family, which is actually the mimic society（which is a miniature of the society）. In the final analysis, what I want to point out is that we should never turn blind to the mass media such as television and Internet, which is now a not unfamiliar term(are now not unfamiliar terms) for ordinary children in America. Undoubtedly, they also play a vital role in inculcating the social information and concepts about it (refer to what?) into the children's heads and gradually shaping them. It is no longer a secular(?感觉不恰当) world now in the family, and in fact, there are always windows there to show children a larger society behind to which they much adapt （to删掉）, for more or less.

To sum up, our children seem to stand in a position more beneficial for them to get adapted to the society even at an early stage. Like it or not, they are adapted to the larger society in this way or that, whether in school or family. Therefore, it is really an unwarranted worry that we have no ways to treat children in a more socialize-favored manner. In fact, the worry might be best appropriate under other circumstances（other？最后一句不如去掉）.

呵呵，个人建议！
一直很pf sugar 的丰富多样的句式

木耳UID: 123036

同意彩虹的建议。
这个题目就是回答几个问题：
１如何定义儿童社会化
２儿童社会化如何决定社会的命运
３现状如何
４如何改进
你好象只写了第三点。而我觉得强两点起码和第三点一样重要。

还有，总论点和分论点最好保持一致
the speaker is on the right ground to assert that the socialized degree of children determines the destiny of society.
既然同意，就要说为什么同意。就算不是重点，点一下也好。

QQsugarUID: 136441

谢谢各位的建议，这篇文章实在是写惨了，等我再想想。。