Issue130 儿童社会化的讨论和文章

genie05UID: 30358

HOW CHILDREN ARE SOCIALIZED TODAY DETERMINES THE DESTINY OF SOCIETY, UNFORTUNATELY, WE HAVE NOT YET LEARNED HOW TO RAISE CHILDREN WHO CAN HELP BRING ABOUT A BETTER SOCIATY.我觉得第一点可以就对ＨＯＷ　ＣＨＩＬＥＤＲＥ。。。ＯＦ　ＳＯＣＩＥＴＹ来写，但是后面呢？没有说的　！
请教一下

imongUID: 140258

我想，前边从socialize导致个性的善恶诸理念来说，物以类聚
后边则是考虑一下现在的学校家庭，socialize实质上是让children无条件接受他们的status，接受这个社会的hierarchy，为他们将来的position做准备，等等。跟什么humanity关系反而不大。
有点乱……昨天刚刚看到一本书，想到的。

hehuiUID: 134334

简要提纲：
I.        引言+paraphrase 题目意思+ 观点 （现代的家长和教育家缺乏对孩子的控制方法和教育方法）
II.        观点阐述一：缺乏控制方法：西方缺乏控制；东方国家过度控制
III.        观点阐述二：缺乏教育方法
IV.        总结二、三段

There is a Chinese saying: children are the future. It aptly depicts the significance of the young generation who will turn into the mainstay of the society in the future. However, being weaker and less resolved than before with regard to curbing and shaping the children, today's parents and educators seem to lack the power and relative skills and methods to socialize them.

The prime problem is that nowadays parents and educators are more and more distinctly showing their bewilderment of how to treat with the children and which attitude they should have towards them. In the western world, with an increasing claim for children's equality to adults, "children rights" has been involved in political issues rather than purely educational and family concerns. Parents in a western country, especially in an European country find that the traditional spanking is out of the question, even whether they may shout at the children is open to doubt because who knows the dreadful potential psychological experience it will bring them. In contrast, the situation in eastern countries, which is the apparently (ostensibly) opposite, may result in worse. Holding the tradition of over-respecting the older generation, parents believe they have the absolute power to control their children and in whatever way they consider effective including abusing and physical punishment. But the result is disappointing to them in that they gradually realize that when they grow up, the children may on the contrary release the characteristics which the parents try to prevent in their early ages.

Despite the shortness of power to control the children, educators also become more and more confused of what to teach to the children.  In order to equip the future generation with the knowledge and values necessary to bring a better society, a legion of things are needed to be decided and then put into reality in terms of the educational methods. Whether to meet the needs of the children or the needs of the society? Which is better: giving the children rights to develop themselves according to their characteristics and interests or imposing on them a series of uniform curricula and standards? All these are still not known clearly and under wide debates.

In sum, though many of the parents and educators have recognized the importance of children, considering their inadequate knowledge of how to treat with and what to educate the children, there is still a long way to go in the educational domain and the whole public.

自评：
优点：长短句分配比较合理
缺点：1.从全文结构看，观点二的阐述空泛，没例子（写的时候怕时间不够）
2.从各段看，第二段虽然主题句提到了家长和教育者，但全段都在说家长，有些偏颇
3.稍微超时：50分钟完成

我9月15日考，以现在的程度应该怎样有效地提高呢？谢谢大家！！

imongUID: 140258

hehui

论点还不错，对后半句进行了深入的分析。语言上也很舒服，当然有些用词还是不够地道。
第二段没有例子没关系，纯说理说得干净利索，一样好。

我倒是着重于分析前半句，我觉得你可以适当的考虑一下，为什么How children are socialized determine the future of the society，也许会有一些新的发现。

hehuiUID: 134334

你的意思就是说 强调一下"驯化好的孩子对一个社会的未来很重要"对吧, 你提的很好,我会在我修改提纲的时候加进去,我这篇里只是在首段简单处理了一下(用了个小谚语将孩子是祖国的未来,没深入讲).

另外,希望你能将我用的不好或不够贴切的词和句子指出来一下,我想会很有帮助的,谢谢拉!!

genie05UID: 30358

个人看法，　如果一段只是例子的话会不会有什么问题，好象孙远的书上有提纲给人这样的感觉，比如用一段来讲现在的状况是如何的，比如hehui的２段

imongUID: 140258

不是说不能只有例子，但是要组织好才行，例子只是手段，论点才是目的

抱歉，今天没有时间给你细改了，socialize并不一定是驯化（domesticated？）的意思啊，彼此理解上看来有落差。当然，照自己的看法去写没有问题。

genie05UID: 30358

那如果说Ｉ中出现的一段中仅仅是列举现象来是否会有不好的作用，比如
现在的科技迅速的发展：然后就是例子，结束。
这样的段落可以吗

genie05UID: 30358

up

imongUID: 140258

光说没有用，而且没有绝对的答案。堆砌例子是不可以的，但是在之间穿针引线之后就变得非常好。明白？

genie05UID: 30358

有一点理解!再体会一下!
看来我的有些提纲有问题了1

genie05UID: 30358

那imong,关于人们会选择不生活在这个时代那道题目应该怎么写呢?具体题号想不起来了，但是我就是用了很多例子在里面

imongUID: 140258

题目并没有关系，原理是一样的，人家要看你说出个所以然来，到底为什么，而不是光看例子。懂啵？

genie05UID: 30358

脑袋发晕,不过还好,基本理解了!谢谢!