issue183 希望大家帮忙批改

snowman_winterUID: 144511

183. "As we acquire more knowledge, things do not become more comprehensible,
but more complex and more mysterious."


Is more knowledge  makes a person comprehend the world much easier  or the more knowledge we gain about our world the more complex and mysterious we find our world to be? Some one say that things become more comprehensible as we cumulate more knowledge but I agree whathis issue recommends that the world become more complicated as the knowledge acumulates.

AS to the whole human civilization we know our intelegient has not improved much during
thousands of years development, but the acumulation of knowledge which follows a principle ofcompound interest, accumulates by a accelerated speed under this condition we are more properous than ever before and the developments today are so fast even tommorow we wake up to find the world around us has changed a lot
. Thus we find the world more complex and mysterious than we can imagine.For example
In history we gain a small amount of knowledge and in the eyes of
our ancestors the world is simple with the sky round and the terrain rectangle. There are
no other thing beyond the sky but the god living there.But in the modern world we use telescope to find out that we are in the scolar system where there are nine planets, a sun and some other  sattelates and beyond the scolar system other systems exist and beyond them are what we haven'tknown now. Further as the developing of telenology going on in the future we will find what the world we see  today are more easier than we see at that time, because in future we find solution and explanation of the things we
confuse about and will certainly find new things more complicated and myterious.

As to the individual the world in a naive child's eyes are much more easier and simpler than an adult who  gain much knowledge and experience more about the world. Through the process of education we know more about the environment we are living such as business things  new telenology and mathmatics  theories and mysterious nature
so on and so forth. We are using what we own to created new things never exist before and finding new discoveries never known by others the world to us throng with new things we don't know and the more we research the harder we will find them
to be.Thus more knowledge does not help to make things easier instead they present newer and harder things for us.


As the development of all things follows a principle from simple to conplicated for example as the forming of biology world at the beginning life is only a single cell which transport nutrition with the outer world but as the time goes on  a single cell divided into two and three and more after thousands fo millions of years life becomes complicated as today.So does knowledge which from the beginning when people start to record their civilization with simple words and images and then after years of developing by wisdom language come into being and then new technology.

To sum up though the world become more complicated and mysterious we can use our wisdom mind and the knowledge we have accumulated to find the explanation and gain more knowledge to  search more complex world.

dreamflyerUID: 21967

Is(Does) more knowledge makes(make) a person comprehend the world much easier(?) or(Or is) the more knowledge we gain about our world the more complex and mysterious we find our world to be? Some one(Someone) say that things become more comprehensible as we cumulate more knowledge but I agree what(空格你都忘了？) his issue recommends that the world become more complicated as the knowledge acumulates.

AS to the whole human civilization we know our intelegient（这个词可以这样用嘛？名词还是形容词到底？） has not improved much during
thousands of years（'） development, but the acumulation of knowledge which follows a principle of（又忘了空格）compound interest, accumulates by a accelerated speed under this condition we are more properous than ever before and the developments today are so fast even tommorow we （will）wake up to find the world around us has changed a lot. Thus we find the world more complex and mysterious than we can imagine.For example In（in） history we gain a small amount of knowledge and in the eyes of
our ancestors the world is（was） simple with the sky round and the terrain rectangle. There are no other thing beyond the sky but the god living there.But in the modern world we use telescope to find out that we are in the scolar system where there are nine planets, a sun and some other sattelates and beyond the scolar system other systems exist and beyond them are what we haven'tknown now. Further as the developing of telenology going on in the future we will find what the world we see today are more easier than we see at that time, because in future we find solution and explanation of the things we
confuse about and will certainly find new things more complicated and myterious.

As to the individual the world in a naive child's eyes are much more easier and simpler than an adult who gain much knowledge and experience more about the world. Through the process of education we know more about the environment we are living such as business things new telenology and mathmatics theories and mysterious nature
so on and so forth. We are using what we own to created new things never exist before and finding new discoveries never known by others the world to us throng with new things we don't know and the more we research the harder we will find them
to be.Thus more knowledge does not help to make things easier instead they present newer and harder things for us.


As the development of all things follows a principle from simple to conplicated for example as the forming of biology world at the beginning life is only a single cell which transport nutrition with the outer world but as the time goes on a single cell divided into two and three and more after thousands fo millions of years life becomes complicated as today.So does knowledge which from the beginning when people start to record their civilization with simple words and images and then after years of developing by wisdom language come into being and then new technology.

To sum up though the world become more complicated and mysterious we can use our wisdom mind and the knowledge we have accumulated to find the explanation and gain more knowledge to search more complex world.

先不说内容怎么样，jj你的错误太多了！你是限时完成的嘛？要么在限时内检查一下，要么完成以后检查一下。
我考的时候就是因为平常没有检查的习惯，结果 没挑出几个错。但我明白其实我应该不少错误的：（
多多努力！

hehuiUID: 134334

你的思路很流畅，这是很好的一点，希望你保持。

但要注意：
1.你句子的结构太随便了，经常把不同句型不管三七二十一用and连在一起（好象你特别喜欢用and：P），“AS to the whole human civilization we know our intelegient has not improved much during thousands of years development, but the acumulation of knowledge which follows a principle ofcompound interest, accumulates by a accelerated speed under this condition we are more properous than ever before and the developments today are so fast even tommorow we wake up to find the world around us has changed a lot。” 看看这句是不是太杂乱了。

让句子显的复杂有很多方法，which等引出从句；用并列的看上去比较复杂的副词或形容词修饰....但不能乱堆在一起。

不同句式用 and /or 连在一起也是不合适的，比如：“Is more knowledge makes a person comprehend the world much easier or the more knowledge we gain about our world the more complex and mysterious we find our world to be? ” 因为 and/or本身是具有对称作用的连词（可曾记得toefl 里常出现的题型？）

2.还有个比较重要的问题，你的结尾引出了新观点“we can use our wisdom mind and the knowledge we have accumulated to find the explanation and gain more knowledge to search more complex world.” 这在你的前文没有提到，这对GRE文章也不太合适。结尾的作用就是重述或总结前面的论断。

以上是我个人意见，如有不对的地方请包含，呵呵...

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snowman_winterUID: 144511

谢谢hehui 和dreamflyer 帮我修改文章  我注意到了问题  今天在写的时候一定注意。
收获很大 麻烦你们了。