【Daily Writing作文特训小组】by MD100 作业贴

MD100UID: 3313921

中间几段：[/b


Which one do you prefer: Works at home? Works at the company’s office?

It is quite easy for average people demonstrated a continued receptiveness to work at home. Because of the seemingly plausible explanation that works at home is undoubtedly convenient and always feel free of their whole life. It can be give by an example that my uncle is the best freedom-man. My uncle held his own elementary school at the beginning of the 2008. Actually, I must say this primary school is not a normal school but a special school for kids who lives in a poor family and cannot afford the tuition fees. He sometimes stays at home for a whole day to complete his work or go out to the rural area to seek some kids who eager to be educated.

It is frequently assumed that works at home will exert positive effects on the entire city resident’s life and they all be freedom and happy. However, this opinion is now being questioned by ever-increasing city residents, who come to the query like this: is this ways of work are good for our social skills and for our society development? Therefore we have no categorical evidences to suggest that works at home is better than at company’s office. People seem to fail to take into account the fact that all of us are live in the society and we all need to communicate with different people in different ways.

Here I would explain a few of the most profound reasons. The first reason is that works in the company’s office can practice social skills or the communicational skills. To illustrate this, there is an appropriate example that is very persuasive: communicating with other people is easy apparently, however, my mother told me that the hard problem she needs to tackle is using different tactics to different kinds of people. Therefore, my mom needs to practice this skill continually at her office in every process of completing works.

The vital aspects was not confined to social skills, another profound reason of consenting works at company’s office lies in the development of the social benefits. People works at company and cooperate with colleagues can improve team work spirit and therefore provides benefits to the society. As we all know, one person’s ability of work are lower than the achievement made by a group. As calculating benefits of all the company in the society and this society will become more and more thrive.

mpromanusUID: 2565872

Which one do you prefer: Works at home? Works at the company’s office?

It is quite easy for the average person to demonstrated a continued receptiveness to work at home (This is actually ambiguous between 'doing one's full-time job physically at home' and 'housework'..). Because of the seemingly plausible explanation that working at home is udoubtedly convenient and always feel free of their whole life (The subject of this phrase is 'people', as there's 'their', but the subject of the phrase before 'and' is 'working at home' – the subjects are different so you can't connect them with 'and' like this. You need to spell out the subjects: '..that working at home is…and people always feel free..'.). It can be given by an example that my uncle is the best freedom-man.(1. I don't understand why you must use the passive 'it can be given by an example..' while an active voice serves the expressive needs well enough. Is there any particular reason that you must use a passive, other than to make your language apparently 'fancier'? If the fancy language doesn't serve a proper purpose, it's just cumbersome; 2. there's no such expression as a 'freedom-man'. You can at most say 'a man of freedom', but even that would come off rather awkward.) My uncle held his own elementary school at the beginning of the 2008. Actually, I must say this primary school is not a normal school but a special school for kids who lives in a poor families and cannot afford the tuition fees (Which tuition fees are 'the' tuition fees they cannot afford? Not your uncle's school's but normal schools', I assume..). He sometimes stays at home for a whole day to complete his work or go out to the rural area to seek some kids who are eager to be educated.(I can't see why this example demonstrates that your uncle is a so-called 'freedom-man', because there's no particular conclusion about freedom in your example – do not assume that going out to the rural areas equals 'freedom'.  If it's part of his obligation to get more students for his school, then going out there is a responsibility, not a 'freedom' at all..Plus, you still haven't answered the question on which one you prefer..)

It is frequently assumed that working at home will exert (This means to 'influence, with force and difficulty'. It's not usually associated with positive effects.) positive effects on the entire city resident’s life (So here you're talking about only one single resident..I guess you meant 'the entire city's residents'..') and they all be freedom and happy. However, this opinion is now being questioned by ever-increasing city residents, who come to the query like this: is this ways of work are good for our social skills and for our society's development? Therefore we have no categorical evidences to suggest that working at home is better than at a company’s office. People seem to fail to take into account the fact that all of us are live in the society and we all need to communicate with different people in different ways.(I don't see how or why this entire paragraph must be releant. You're to discuss your preference, not philosophical thoughts about the issue.. )

Here I would explain a few of the most profound reasons. The first reason is that working in the company’s office can practice social skills or the communicational skills. To illustrate this, there is an appropriate example that is very persuasive: communicating with other people is easy apparently, however, my mother told me that the hard problem she needs to tackle is using different tactics to different kinds of people. Therefore, my mom needs to practice this skill continually at her office in every process of completing works. (1. Whether an example is persuasive or not is not up for you to judge..; 2. I don't see why your mum must practise her communication skills at her office..you never clearly compared working in an office with working at home in this aspect, but simply assumed that working in an office == contact with people. Why must it be so? Must such assumptions always be true? Why did you think so? Think about it.)

The vital aspects were not confined to social skills; another profound reason of consenting works at a company’s office lies in the development of the social benefits. People works at companyies and cooperating with colleagues can improve team work spirit and therefore provides benefits to the society. As we all know, one person’s ability of work is lower than the achievement made by a group. (I'd seriously contend this but that's not the point..the point is that again you're assuming working in a office == collaboration. Why? Why must working at home == no collaboration? Why do you have such impressions of the two modes of work?) As calculating benefits of all the company in the society and this society will become more and more thrive.(This sentence makes almost no sense and it's so ungrammatical that I find it very hard to correct..so I decided to write you a new one: 'As the profits of all companies accumulate in the society, it will thrive' – but even then, I don't quite get your reasoning..)

总结：

请特别注意单复数。。最后一段几乎完全没有正确使用。。

论述上完全没有回答问题。。问题是问你喜欢A还是B，你分析了一大通A的好处和B的好处，最后还神马结论都木有。。= = 托福作文不是哲学命题，问你prefer哪个你只要老老实实回答你prefer哪个+原因123就可以了，不是让你深入分析全面阐述两个选项各自的利弊（何况你的利弊分析也有太多的想当然尔。。）。。建议先多看一些高分范文学习应该怎么应对作文题目。。