[作文] 【独立写作】lazysheep的作业贴！ [复制链接]

smsun823
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发表于 2012-8-4 11:19:57 |只看该作者

已改，请过目。多交流：）

8.3lazysheep revised by smsun.doc

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猛龙过江
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发表于 2012-8-4 23:36:49 |只看该作者

请参考谢谢

8.2lazysheep revised by 猛龙.doc

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mpromanus
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18楼

发表于 2012-8-5 06:47:15 |只看该作者

lazysheep 发表于 2012-8-3 15:26
8.3独立 ask help from a student or tutor

If one of your friends needs assistance in one of the courses you are good at, it is better for him to turn to you or ask a tutor for help?

Some people prefer to seek help from friends when facing learning problems, on account of cordial feeling (1. I'm not sure what you want to express here but 'cordial' is particularly associated with hospitality rather than general friendliness, e.g. 'cordial invitation'. 2. 'cordial' is an attitude rather than a 'feeling': a sad feeling means you yourself feel sad, but being cordial is being friendly to other people so you won't say there's a 'cordial' feeling..my point is you can simply use the word 'friendliness' and do the job equally well.) and peer acceptation. Admittedly, it is somewhat reasonable in this way, but they fail to see the benefits from asking a tutor for help, considering their wilder range (You mean 'wider', don't you..) of knowledge and ample experience in teaching. If my friend turns to me for math assistance, even though my math is fairly good, I would recommend he or she ask a tutor in the first place.

The foremost reason is that tutors are more expert in that field, owing to both their depth and coverage of specific knowledge, which are important to better guidance. Because of a tutor's abundant accumulation ('accumulation' of what? You can accumulate many things – knowledge, experience, fame, personal network..) in that field, they are more likely to develop a discussion of your problem, as well as broaden the scope of the topic, which may amazingly contribute to more related knowledge, and even extra solutions. Moreover, what a tutor can provide is more than just helping you solve problems. What counts more is that the tutor can also teach you how to learn, how to absorb information, as well as how to apply what you have learnt to other situations. However, as far as I am concerned, to work out specific problems already reaches my limit. Tutors are obviously more helpful than me, for my friend can be exposed to more acquaintance ('acquaintance' with whom? The tutor?), as well as pick up the method of learning.

In addition, tutors are far more experiential (This does NOT mean 'experienced', if that's what you're trying to express.) than me, for the large quantity of students they met and years of teaching. Rich experience makes them easily spot your problem and the deficiency of knowledge behind it. Some tutors might even make a learning schedule for the student's improvement. Hardly can an ordinary student, like me, come up with such constructive suggestions. For example, my friend Jude had a hard time learning math. Every time she (..I'd usually imagine 'Jude' as a boy's name.) turned to me with similar problems. Once she asked the tutor John, and John pointed out her unfamiliarity with a theorem, which led to so many similar problems she couldn't handle. After Jude made up (the phrase 'make up <something>' means to fabricate/fake/lie..what you're trying to say here, upon my guess, should be '..Jude made up FOR that theorem..') knowledge about that theorem, she felt more confident with math, with much fewer problems. I might only solve her problem once a time, as if medicine given to patients to remove one symptom. In comparison, tutors can help her reveal hidden problems, as if a long term method to heal patients thoroughly. Such experience for detecting problems and help improving (This 'and' phrase started with a progressive participle, 'detecting', so it must have a progressive participle too after the 'and', i.e. 'helping to improve'. Be very clear which words are your verbs and make sure they agree before and after 'and'.), is virtually what a student as me lacks.

All in all, if my friend turns to me, even though maybe I may do well in that area, I would strongly suggest him or her to ask tutors for help, for their rich knowledge, method of teaching and abundant experience, which nowhere near I could compare with (It's either 'which I am nowhere near' or 'which never I could compare with', but not two things mixed into one.).

总结：

论述不错，但是请注意冠词和语用。。特别在语用上，很多地方感觉是过于努力变化句式啊词汇啊导致言不达意。句子词汇不在难，在于准，把话说得清晰准确比表面上的变化要有效果得多。。

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