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[优秀习作] issue102 教育类[文章] [复制链接]

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发表于 2003-10-8 17:25:43 |显示全部楼层
这篇ISSUE 不太好把握观点,在45分钟内只写出了将将260字,请大家丰富观点并请帮忙修改。谢谢·
ISSUE 102: "For better or worse, education is a process that involves revising the ideas, beliefs, and values people held in the past."

When we talk about the "Education", most of people think of the pupils as "sausages ", teachers are supposed to fill education into them. However, the genuine education is not to insert information into the pupils but to eliciting knowledge from them. The true education is a process that involves forming one's ideas , beliefs and values.

From our original education , we are taught all sorts of acedemic knowledge such as mathemetics , literature, physics and chemistry etc. All the education process is not only for the education sake. we absorb sorts of information from our surrounding circumstance no matter its right or wrong. On the one hand, education just evidence our former idea , beliefs and values when the further formal school education concern to our former ideas and values.

On the other hand, the education involves revising the ideas , beliefs and values we held in the past when the further education is conflict to our earlier uncertain learning. Galileo 's "sun-central Doctrine" and Newton's Gravity Theory all revised people 's traditional acknowledge to the society and the earth. As the increasing technology using in all field of society, More and more new theory are born and phenomina are recovered, most of them will challenge our traditional acknowledge in the fields.

In the summery , for better or worse, education is a process that people renew their knowledge no matter whether it can revise the ideas, beliefs and values our ancestry transmit to us .
Never never give up!

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发表于 2003-10-8 17:47:02 |显示全部楼层
写得太少了,看来你对这个题目似乎没有什么感想?那就是问题出在构思上。

When we talk about the "Education", most of people think of the pupils as (think of as好像不对,take as?) "sausages ", teachers (重新开新句子的话要用句号或者分号)are supposed to fill education into them. However, the genuine education is not to insert information into the pupils but to eliciting knowledge from them. The true education is a process that involves forming one's ideas , beliefs and values. 嗯,有点问题,人家说的是revise,你说的是form,不一样的。如果另起炉灶,也不能丝毫不提及原文。

From our original education , we are taught all sorts of acedemic knowledge such as mathemetics , literature, physics and chemistry etc. All the education process is not only for the education sake(?). we absorb sorts of information from our surrounding circumstance no matter its right or wrong. On the one hand, education just evidence our former idea , beliefs and values when the further formal school education concern to our former ideas and values.论点在这里,论据?想想怎么支持你的论点。

On the other hand, the education involves revising the ideas , beliefs and values we held in the past when the further education is conflict to our earlier uncertain learning. Galileo 's "sun-central Doctrine" and Newton's Gravity Theory all revised people 's traditional acknowledge to the society and the earth. As the increasing technology using in all field of society, More and more new theory are born and phenomina are recovered, most of them will challenge our traditional acknowledge in the fields.

In the summery , for better or worse, education is a process that people renew their knowledge no matter whether it can revise the ideas, beliefs and values our ancestry transmit to us .
你自己的论点都不清楚,提出了两个并不太相干,甚至有点contradictory的论点作为你的body,总体上失败了。

把握得太肤浅了。其实有很多话可以说,例如是谁revise谁,谁的ideas,how to revise,或者你不同意title statement. 仔细想过这些方面吗?issue的题目都是比较复杂,不容易定论的,多训练训练构思会发现有很多话说的。
Rien de réel ne peut être menacé.
Rien d'irréel n'existe.

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发表于 2003-10-8 20:51:13 |显示全部楼层
我觉得可以一开头便可先否定作者的观点,说明其对the function of education认识的谬误和局限性,然后再全面地抛出自己对于教育地认识,此时便是发挥你自己观点了,随便怎么论述吧,教育的目的、价值、存在的问题等等。别忘了最后再点点题就行了。本人觉得此题还算好写,发挥的空间很大,一开始定下方向,500、600字没问题。

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