ISSUE5

lincyaUID: 143436

Issue 5:" A nation should require all its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college rather than allow schools in different parts of the nation to determine which academic courses to offer."  (370)




Should a nation require all the students to study the same national curriculum or allow schools in different parts of nation to determine the courses to offer? That’s a dilemma which administrators have difficulties to solve. In my point of view, I agree with the point that a nation should require the same curriculum learning insofar for the culture keeping and societal continue.


Today, different groups in society have different expectations. Some feel that students need better preparation for careers in a technologically advanced society ; others believe children should be taught basic job-related skills; still others believe education should not only prepare children to compete in society but also help them maintain their cultural identity. As a result Some courses which seems to be less important to help prepare students career will inevitable be cut off. On matter if the courses are useful for students’ culture identity. In this situation ,the education department can handle the balance between market needs and the academic requirement.


However, nowadays our world is becoming smaller and smaller, and turns into a “global village”. Multi-culture is rapidly increased and more and more student go abroad to furthering study while increasing students and job seekers coming from many other countries make the national culture become multi-culture. The children of the foreign worker need go to local school. It is obviously that the traditional national curriculum is unsuitable and the local education department should administrate the courses to suit different culture and religion requirement.


Another big problem is that we do not market what we have to offer. Students very often fail to see the practicality of studying Shakespeare as preparation for a career in business community. Today’s education is impractical to college students who are facing a competitive and rapidly changing job market. Furthermore, regional economy has different job requirement. As a result, regional education determination is more agility and efficient than national determination.


In sum, the national and regional education department should join force in fostering the fullest development of youngsters’ capacities . In this way, the education is not only continue national culture , but also can absorb multi-culture to suit different need and make the nation become more international and open .

豌豆UID: 144569

建议楼主,自己先修改一下先,在这里得到的帮助更多的是一些写作的思路,而不是具体的哪道题应该怎么写
多参加参加这里 的讨论
一定会让你收益匪浅的

木耳UID: 123036

Issue 5:" A nation should require all its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college rather than allow schools in different parts of the nation to determine which academic courses to offer." (370)




Should a nation require all the students to study the same national curriculum or allow schools in different parts of nation to determine the courses to offer? That’s a dilemma which administrators have difficulties to solve. In my point of view, I agree with the point that a nation should require the same curriculum learning insofar for the culture keeping and societal continue. （最后一句culture keeping and societal continue语义不明。）
个人观点：开头的设问和回答多余。


Today, different groups in society have different expectations. Some feel that students need better preparation for careers in a technologically advanced society ; others believe children should be taught basic job-related skills; still others believe education should not only prepare children to compete in society but also help them maintain their cultural identity. As a result Some courses which seems to be less important to help prepare students career will inevitable be cut off.（因果错误。前面花那么大的篇幅讲当今教育目的的多样性。后面却说对career 不重要的课程被cut off。有联系吗？） On matter if the courses are useful for students’ culture identity.（好像只说了半句？） In this situation ,the education department can handle the balance between market needs and the academic requirement.
这一段很是语焉不详，有些乱，我看不太清你到的要说什么呢？
猜想你是想说现在教育目呈多样性，所以教育机构要从中balance。可是逻辑有些乱。


However, nowadays our world is becoming smaller and smaller, and turns into a “global village”. Multi-culture is rapidly increased and more and more student go abroad to furthering study while increasing students and job seekers coming from many other countries make the national culture become multi-culture.（这句的读起来不顺，改一下）The children of the foreign worker need go to local school. It is obviously that the traditional national curriculum is unsuitable and the local education department should administrate the courses to suit different culture and religion requirement.
？？？
晕了。你要说的是赞成统一课程。而这一段又说要针对不同的文化修改课程。到底是要统一还是根据不同情况作相应的改变？
而且外国人的孩子只是极少数，他们的要求与千万本国学生比起来谁重要？没有抓住重点。

Another big problem is that we do not market what we have to offer. Students very often fail to see the practicality of studying Shakespeare as preparation for a career in business community. Today’s education is impractical to college students who are facing a competitive and rapidly changing job market. Furthermore, regional economy has different job requirement. As a result, regional education determination is more agility and efficient than national determination.


In sum, the national and regional education department should join force in fostering the fullest development of youngsters’ capacities . In this way, the education is not only continue national culture , but also can absorb multi-culture to suit different need and make the nation become more international and open .

可以说里这篇文章写的不成功，严重跑题！

你的论点是赞成在大学之前统一课程，但你的文章通篇都是在讲针对现今的弊病如何改革课程，更没强调在大学之前这档子事。
很明显，你对题目的理解和把握不好。写之前也没有很好的计划。

语法错误倒是不多，但用词还有些贫乏。

在理解体目上夺下功夫吧，一旦跑题写得在好也是白搭。

lincyaUID: 143436

谢谢 木耳的修改。

我的整体观点是，首先：先说明统一课程对社会整体文化的形成和
                      保持是有一定意义的。
                但是（让步）： 在有统一性的同时还需要有个
                  性，不同地域由于历史和文化上的差异需要加
                  入一些因地适宜的个性化课程以满足当地的需
                 要。
               
                我可能阐述的不够严密，所以有跑题的嫌疑。


再次谢谢木耳的指点！

木耳UID: 123036

你说得不错，很多时候会词不达意，严重时会跑题。
如果真是这样，那就太可惜了。
多练几片吧，会有进步的。