【独立写作】err0716的作业贴

err0716UID: 2893957

10月1号开始，作文贴都在一楼~~

11.20 err0716.doc (33.5 KB, 下载次数: 5)

2012-11-21 00:24:37 上传

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限时~这几天也不管写的如何了，但求限时。。

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2012-11-19 22:37:33 上传

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还有四天考试，已经好久没写了。。今天居然限时成功。。

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err0716UID: 2893957

10月1号第一篇~

秋雨荆州UID: 2903781

加油呀！

err0716UID: 2893957

秋雨荆州 发表于 2012-10-1 23:25
加油呀！

谢谢美女斑竹:loveliness:

yvesxhUID: 3305014

已改，请多包涵
10.1写作err0716 revised by Yvesxh.doc (33 KB, 下载次数: 7)

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xiaobanIUID: 3338972

已改完

err0716UID: 2893957

xiaobanI 发表于 2012-10-2 15:58
已改完

谢谢啦~~改的真详细，学习~:)

err0716UID: 2893957

10月12日 独立写作 第二篇

FlaviapqUID: 3131238

已改:)

FlaviapqUID: 3131238

楼主记得帮我改哦:)

err0716UID: 2893957

速度慢慢提高~~喵

guang123yyyUID: 2819256

err0716 发表于 2012-10-23 00:03
速度慢慢提高~~喵

修改完 LZ写的很好啊 学习了！

err0716UID: 2893957

这次题目有点。。不过限时完成了。:mad:

B因子大片段UID: 3383323

lz英语底子好好   10.24 err0716.doc (32 KB, 下载次数: 5)

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mpromanusUID: 2565872

err0716 发表于 2012-10-23 00:03
速度慢慢提高~~喵

10.22 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:
The way a person is dressed in is a good indication of his/her character or personality.

Don't judge a book by its cover. I've been convinced by this saying since the first time I saw it a few years ago, and that's what my primary school teachers and my parents told me when I was little.(I'm kind of confused by whether you were convinced by 'seeing' the saying a few years ago or hearing it during primary school or both.) What they said was one's external appearance or the cloth he/she wears never tells anything. However, after contemplating the topic deeply, I would agree that the way a person is dressed in is an indication of his/her personality because everything people choose, to some extent, indicates their inner psychological activities, and dressing is decision based on their preferences which are determined by their characters.

Any decision people make is based on their past experience, knowledge and relevant comments ('any decision people make is based on their..comments' ??). Two people could be looked quite differently even with the same clothes because of the way they wear it. For example, one of my friends Jack is an aggressive person and always rolls up his sleeves with a T-shirt on (1. T-shirts don't have sleeves; 2. I don't quite understand how can you roll up sleeves 'with' a T-shirt on, because that would mean you're wearing a T-shirt on top of a long-sleeved garment..) even in cold days. The other college David is a little timid and has a habit of hiding his hands in the sleeves. Of course, and he would never roll up his sleeves. I could almost see Jack is going to deal with something right away with his hands every time I see him. The difference between them lies in their inner psychological activities. Jack might think the best way to solve a problem is to handle it immediately, and not to be sluggish. Whereas David, is probably used to getting things done in a more gentle (This is not wrong, but 'gentler' is better.) way.(This example is very good. Some of your sentences are not very clear in meaning but not much fundamental damage.)

Preference plays a critical role in buying clothes, and people's preferences hardly change during a certain period. That's why people always find that they keep buying the same style of clothes, or clothes in similar colors. My friend Marry is a sensitive person, and afraid of getting any extra attention from others. She once complained to me that her clothes are all dark colors, and she wanted to make a change. But the next time we went to shopping, she bought another dark blue cardigan. I asked why she chose it again, she explained she has been used to these dark clothes and really couldn't accept those bright colors. It is probably because she is so sensitive that she wants to keep a low-key image among her friends as ever. (You've now turned the argument around into something like 'a person's character influences his/her choices in clothing', which is fine, but do remember to go back to the original statement. You can't expect readers to automatically jump from A -> B to B -> A. You need to reason it back – 'because a person's character influences his/her choices in clothing, we could use clothing as an indicator of character'.)

"Don't judge a book by its cover" is applicable only under certain circumstances. For instance, a blind person might have a less necessity of caring about his/her own apparels because he/she self couldn't see them him/herself (I am not sure why the practice of political correctness in gender is still taught but seriously nobody sticks to this he/she thing anymore now, and you will not be penalized if you don't do it. You can alternate between 'he' and 'she' – e.g. 'a blind person..he…. Another person, she…' if you find this necessary.), but that does not mean he/she is a careless person. Another example is when all employees are required to wear the uniform in the same way to work. Then it's meaningless to compare these identical behaviors. Only under these particular circumstances could we say the way people is dressed doesn't represent anything.(Very good examples and reasoning.)

From the discussion above, we could probably draw a comprehensive and thus safely conclusion that the way a person is dressed in is a good indication of his/her personality because it's an expression of his/her inner psychological activities, and people often make decisions based on their preferences except under certain particular circumstances.

总结：

很不错的说理，正反面的例子都举得很到位。语言上基本功也很好，但请注意长句子前后单复一致还有表意上的清晰。