托福作文处女作，求大神批改，求经验

左小阜UID: 3382416

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
It is time for the committee of universities increasing the budget of sports and social activities, Conveniently most of the budget distribute partially to the classes and libraries for the stereotyped views that the universities are the academic places for spreading varieties of knowledge. Well, since the time goes by, the society needs the inter-disciplinary talent like the sensibility of social issues, sturdy employees rather than the bookworm ..College students as a community should pay more attention to the society issues and spend more time than now developing their own physical quality .In fact, the equal even more financial support of sports and social activities  from the universities is necessarily for doing this will benefit students, parents, universities even the society. .
Initially, students can take part in more social activities which can assistance us to build a multi-perspectives and devote ourselves to the charitable .And this ability is of course we can't study from the text books .I still remember when I was a freshman ,how I starved to contribute myself to the social activities like advocating students to donate money for the Africa children who are afflicting the pathyma and the famine. When I negotiated with my alma mater committee and wished recieve the financial support to hold this activity, what I got was irony and satire. My heart is almost broken into pieces. Since then I rarely joint the social activities for I can't get the favor of my alma mater.
Secondly, college students more or less lack of sports training. Over the four years of campus life. Students' healthy condition come worse than it has been before, which makes parents worry about. As for me, the days that I was a high school students, I could be easy to run 800 meters .while now even the 400-meters of running leaves me exhausted. Consequently, I'm easily catching a cold and always firstly being epidemic down .The constantly small disease really confuse my parents and myself. Getting the financial support of sports is crucial to improve this situation.
Thirdly, in nowadays the standard of  a good university has changed .Compared to the old rules ,universities should possess more characteristics not only the authority of academy .that's not saying that the ability of academic takes the second place. A strong power of sports also is a key point of being out-standing. For instance ,Tingshua university almost all the Chinese students looking foward to have an exceptional basketball team .And it also make the university even better.
Finally ,and in my view what is the most significant is that society can get benefit from this practice .We may not see the immediate effects about this. But in long terms, the whole society can get more preeminent talents who are concern more about social problems and zealously participation in society work, since they have cultivated the good habit in the university. As old saying goes a little more love, a better life.

sodapengUID: 3242849

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