issue111 能得多少分，心里没底亚，呜呜呜

blueseaheartUID: 127701

111 "The worldwide distribution of television programs and advertisements is seriously diminishing the differences among cultures."
电视节目和广告的全球性扩张正在严重地消除着不同文化之间的差异。

电视节目和广告的双向性侵入对方的文化领域一方面加强了文化的交流,同时在CENSORSHIP 的监视和过虑下,DANGEROUS的IDEA 很难渗透. 所以DISGREE THE POINT OF THE SPEAKER.
1广告的制作人和发行人重在其商业的价值,所以一般会为了迎合本地人而做了调整.
2 电视节目是带有浓厚的外土文化的异味,一方面可能会让对方的国民了解一些外来的文化意识,但是不可能严重的消除不同文化间的差异.
3 本土文化是一个国家的IDENTITY,是政府力图保存的,因此会加强防范的力度.再者文化是经过很长时间的积累,同化光广告和电视节目很难做到.
With the growing of global communication and cooperation, television programs and advertisements have been distributed all over the world. Here comes a question: Is such distribution seriously diminishing the difference among cultures? In my opinion, any culture must be inherited inveterately by its citizens; it is not easy for the mere television programs and advertisements to reduce seriously the difference among cultures.

To begin with, the value of advertisements primarily lies in the social effect it causes. If one advertisement with strong foreign culture, although it seems to be fresh, is repeatedly playing on the TV, or posted here and there in the street, how many people can understand the notion of it and subsequently buy the production it promulgate. Therefore, smart manager always employs the local Ad Company to modify that advertisement or even design another new advertisement. In this sense, the invasion of advertisement has little to do with the assimilation of cultures.

As for the television program, it might contribute a lot to diminishing the difference among cultures, for any television program, more or less, embodies the value of culture severally. It can infuse its own culture into citizens’ minds of others countries. For example, we can learn their youth’s viewpoint about money and love from American hot TV program “temptation”, “for money or love” and “ paradise hotel” and also know that unlike Chinese youth, American youth man or woman like to pursue the individuality and good at express themselves. Generally speaking, children or adolescent are apt to absorb exotic, novel ideas due to they have no strong indigenous culture as those elders.

Unfortunately, television program alone cannot seriously decrease the culture diversity. First, television is one way media. In other words, it only can convey its ideas, but not communicate with viewers. Therefore such defect largely hampers preaching its ideas. Secondly, other governments may lay some limit on foreign programs in order to protect their own culture from harm. Finally, a kind of culture has been formed for a long time and must be ingrain in people’s minds of that country. Also, inhabitants of any country live in a strong culture atmosphere rather than in other countries. For them, the invasion of television program affects them not strongly.

In sum, the advertisement lay a little effect on other cultures. And although the worldwide distribution of the television program have a relative strong effect on other countries’ people, especially the youth, it alone cannot seriously diminish the difference among cultures, because of its own defect, foreign governments’ protection and culture’s character.

imongUID: 140258

With the growing of global communication and cooperation, television programs and advertisements have been distributed all over the world. Here comes a question: Is such distribution seriously diminishing the difference among cultures? In my opinion, any culture must be inherited inveterately by its citizens; it is not easy for the (去掉the) mere television programs and(or) advertisements to reduce seriously the difference among cultures.

To begin with, the value of advertisements primarily lies in the social effect it causes（建议不要用cause，把语序正常回来就变成了cause effect，这样的用法不常见）. If one advertisement with strong foreign culture, although it（不能出新的主语） seems to be fresh, is repeatedly playing（played? or换一个动词？） on the TV, or posted here and there in the street, how many people can understand the notion of it(its notion，行文简洁是美德) and subsequently(consequently?) buy the production（product?） it promulgate（promulgate接product/production的用法似乎少见）. Therefore, smart manager always employs the local Ad Company to modify that(such) advertisement or even design another new advertisement. In this sense, the invasion of advertisement has little to do with the assimilation of cultures.

As for the television program, it might contribute a lot to(in?) diminishing the difference among cultures,(去掉逗号，更加紧凑) for any television program, more or less, embodies the value of culture severally（？）. It can infuse its own culture into citizens’ minds of others countries. For example, we can learn their youth’s viewpoint about money and love from American hot TV program “temptation”, “for money or love” and “ paradise hotel” and also know that unlike Chinese youth, American youth man or woman like to pursue the individuality and good at express（ing） themselves. Generally speaking, children or adolescent are apt to absorb exotic, novel ideas due to （从句不能没有先行词就撂着！至少这里不行） they have no strong indigenous culture as those elders.

Unfortunately, television program alone cannot seriously decrease the culture diversity. First, television is one way media. In other words, it only can convey its ideas, but not communicate with viewers（句子写得太零碎了，从first开始到这里根本就是一句话的内容）. Therefore such defect largely hampers preaching its ideas（？）. Secondly, other governments may lay some limit on foreign programs in order to protect their own culture from harm. Finally, a kind of culture has been formed for a long time and must be ingrain（？） in people’s minds of that country. Also, inhabitants of any country live in a strong culture atmosphere rather than in other countries. For them, the invasion of television program affects them not （as）strongly.

In sum, the advertisement lay a little effect on other cultures. And although the worldwide distribution of the television program have a relative strong effect on other countries’ people, especially the youth, it alone cannot seriously diminish the difference among cultures, because of its own defect, foreign governments’ protection and culture’s character.
立意上表现一般。语言上主要毛病在于：句子零碎化，从句随意化，动词混乱化。从句随随便便就出来一个新的svo了，也不管是不是和主句冲突。动词混乱化表现在时态和语态多处出现问题。三大问题，要克服。你肯定是背完了单词的，写作文的时候小心不要用砸了，像那个promulgate product恐怕是个豪华词汇后遗症的体现。不过也算是这几天以来稍微好一些的文章了。
我看作文很挑剔的。相信你多练练会有很大提高。

blueseaheartUID: 127701

谢谢imong的评论，真的很感激你的辛勤劳动。你说的问题我会记住的。
BTW,怯怯的问，能上3分吗？