issue3

bjzhj_2000UID: 144606

Issue 3:"It is more important to allocate money for immediate, existing social problems than to spend it on long-term research that might help future generations."

Today, more and more people are inclined to the short-term research, which is called pragmatism, rather than the long-term research, which is called the idealism, because they believe that the pragmatism can produce more benefits than the idealism can do. In my opinion, however, the idealism plays the same important role in the real life as the pragmatism.

Pragmatism is necessary in the real world in order to solve the immediate problems, such as unemployment and illiteracy. For instance, there are thousands upon thousands students graduates from the universities in china, but the work opportunities are less than the graduates, so many graduates are out of work and have to stay home. Obviously there will be a great waste to the graduates and the society, what is more, it will make the graduates disappointed and frustrated. In the end, they may be afraid to face the real world, which will possibly make people consider the necessary of the education. In order to build up the people's belief, the government should try their best to solve the problem as soon as possible. In addition, pragmatism plays an important role in solving the illiteracy too, illiteracy may be mean the high social crimes, which is aroused by the meager law knowledge of the people and the high unemployment rate produced by the people's ignorance. Without allocating money for the immediate social problems, the society may be bogged down in confusion.

On the other hand, pragmatism may have many disadvantages in other fields, for example, the boom of the real estate may lead to lots of empty houses, but there will be many people can not afford an apartment because of the high price of the apartment, further more it may lead to the lack of source like trees and water, even intensify the conflict between the people and the government. So the money allocated for this phenomenon should be limited in order to avoid wasting the money and the life space.

Simply put, if the society only care for the pragmatism, perhaps there would be many disadvantages occur, which may lead to the confusion of the society. Thus, the society needs the idealism to make a long-term plan so that it can seek a long-term development. As the proverb says:" it will spend ten years on planting the trees, but it will spend hundreds of years on cultivating the generations." So society needs a long-term research on the infrastructure like education, transportation, energy and so on. Although it may spend lots of money and many years on the structure of the base, it is worthwhile because it is the fundamentality of all the other things and may pave the way for the social development. However, there are some fields also that should not spend money on it, like the space exploration or aids, which cannot bring any advantages to the people.

In sum, we should pay the same attention to the pragmatism and the idealism, because they will lead to the same influence on the real world. But the money should be spent reasonable under the different circumstances.

木耳UID: 123036

Issue 3:"It is more important to allocate money for immediate, existing social problems than to spend it on long-term research that might help future generations."

Today, more and more people are inclined to the（be inclined to do 少动词） short-term research, which is called（which called for 要求） pragmatism, rather than the long-term research, which is called the(删掉the) idealism, because they believe that the pragmatism can produce more benefits than the idealism can do. In my opinion, however, the(the 可以删掉) idealism plays the same important role in the real life as the pragmatism.

Pragmatism is necessary in the real（real 是“真正”的意思，用在这里不好，换一个词，比如earthy, realistic等） world in order to solve the immediate problems, such as unemployment and illiteracy. For instance, there are thousands upon thousands students graduates from the(删掉) universities in china, but the work opportunities are less than the graduates（工作机会比毕业生少？这个比较好象不太合适。Are much less than graduates demand）, so many graduates are out of work and have to stay home(后半句啰嗦，删掉). Obviously there will be a great waste to （a great waste to ？好像没这个用法。）the graduates and the society,（用分号） what is more, it will make the graduates disappointed and frustrated. In the end, they may be afraid to face the real world, which will possibly make people consider the necessary of the education.（前面的论证还不错，可这个结论就有些说不过去了。因为实业就怀疑教育的作用吗？没有足够的就业机会是单纯教育的错还是一个复杂的社会问题？你的看法我不敢苟同） In order to build up the（删掉） people's belief, the government（最好用复数） should try their best to solve the problem as soon as possible. In addition, pragmatism plays an important role in solving the(删掉) illiteracy too, illiteracy may be（删掉be） mean the（删掉） high social crimes, which is aroused by the meager（meager 是形容词 the absence of） law knowledge of the people and the high unemployment rate produced by the people's ignorance(由于人们的无知而产生的高失业率？前面不是说是教育的问题吗？而且就算不矛盾，也不很合理). Without allocating money for the immediate social problems, the society may be bogged down in confusion.

On the other hand（第二段用On the other hand,第一段最好要有on the one hand形成对应） pragmatism may have many disadvantages in other fields, for example, the boom of the real estate may lead to lots of empty houses, but there will be many people can not afford an apartment because of the high price of the apartment,（用分号或另起一句） further more it may lead to the lack of source like trees and water, even intensify the conflict between the people and the government. So the money allocated for this phenomenon（现象？用得不好） should be limited in order to avoid wasting the money and the life space.
道理还不错，但泡沫经济的起因是实用主义（pragmatism）吗?有待商榷吧？而且题目中讲的是for immediate, existing social problems。很多人没有住房不正是这样的问题吗？写文章时一定要时刻把题目放在脑子中，你这段细分析起来实际上写跑了。）

Simply put, if the society only care for the pragmatism, perhaps there would be many disadvantages occur, which may lead to the confusion of the society. Thus, the society needs the idealism to make a long-term plan so that it can seek a long-term development. As the proverb says:" it will spend ten years on planting the trees, but it will spend hundreds of years on cultivating the generations." So society needs a long-term research on the infrastructure like education, transportation, energy and so on. Although it may spend lots of money and many years on the structure of the base, it is worthwhile because it is the fundamentality of all the other things and may pave the way for the social development. However, there are some fields also that should not spend money on it, like the space exploration or aids, which cannot bring any advantages to the people.

是这样的吗？research on pace exploration or aids真得一无是处吗？你的文字一定要客观。观点新颖可以，但一定要证明。有理有据是起码的要求。个人观点：research on pace exploration or aids对人类的长远发展有重大意义，正是我们要大力发展的。
还有，语言还是有些啰嗦。

In sum, we should pay the same attention to the pragmatism and the idealism, because they will lead to the same influence on the real world. But the money should be spent reasonable under the different circumstances.
提几个问题
1 写得有一点偏，似乎通篇都是在讲he pragmatism and the idealism。对题目中的几个关键词把握得不是很好，比如说allocate money, existing social problems, long-term research, future generations.

2 语言有些啰嗦，冠词the用得不好，句式较单一，还有就是一些词用的不是很好

3 最关键的问题，论证没有力度。几个例子给人的影响不深，有些牵强

总的来说对宏观结构的把握还是不错的，不过细微之处还要多下功夫。

木耳UID: 123036

再提两点要求：
1 题目要写题号，方便我们批改整理。请指教什么的往后排。
2 在你请求别人帮助的时候，也要尽力帮助别人。两点理由 a 助人者人助之。 b 在帮别人改作文的时候自己也会有很大进步。

加油！再多写两篇，发上来大家改改，会有进步的