[Stanford] Tips on Writing Statement of Purpose and Personal Statement Essays

yanglinfangUID: 3384822

Tips on Writing Statement of Purpose and Personal Statement Essays
for Graduate School and Fellowship Applications
Examine samples written by other students. The Undergraduate Research Programs office on
the 4th floor of Sweet Hall has a binder with sample statements of purpose for a wide variety of
fields. You cannot take the binder out of the office, but there are comfortable chairs and you can
read through the binder there. One thing you will notice: every student has a different history,
different strengths and weaknesses, so there is no one way to write this type of essay.
Arrange for individual editorial consultation. After you have absorbed the tips suggested here
and you have developed some kind of draft, send an email to Renee Courey at
rcourey@stanford.edu with a Word attachment of your draft (with your name on it) along with
days and times that you’re available, and either she or another associate will set up an
appointment. Avoid doing this at the last minute. The schedule may be booked, and very often
essays need to be re-conceived or there are other major revisions. So, when you make an
appointment, allow for plenty of time for follow-up meetings. You can also set up an
appointment at the Stanford Writing Center – check with SWC on how to do this.
Personal statements and statements of purpose are perhaps the most important parts of
applications. There is little you can do to change your GPA or your curriculum vitae (the
academic version of a resume), but these statements can be written in many different ways,
emphasizing different aspects of your interests, goals, personality, and style. They present the
unique qualities that make you the candidate that a committee wants to select, and a good
statement of purpose can also affect those professors who will write letters of recommendation
for you. Consequently, you need to pay particular attention to their composition. Admissions
and approval committees have been known to accept candidates with uneven academic records
or reject otherwise excellent candidates on the basis of these statements.
Essays for law school and medical school applications have their own unique characteristics.
While many of the tips outlined here are useful for these essays, the demands of graduate school
and fellowship essays are different. Law school and medical school essays are closer to the type
of essay you wrote for undergraduate admissions. Admissions committees are not that interested
in how much you know about law or medicine, since they don’t expect you to know very much,
and research, while important to write about, is not as crucial as for graduate programs. For law,
you are expected to demonstrate that you can reason and write, and that you have some kind of
intellectual capacity and drive and a sense of human connections, and that you are motivated to
become a lawyer. For medicine, you are expected to recount any experience with medicine (such
as shadowing doctors), that you have compassion, in addition to demonstrating that you can
reason and write. Again, the tips here are primarily directed at graduate school and fellowship
essays, and if you are interested in these professional schools you can extrapolate from these
suggestions – and consult with the appropriate staff at UAP.
Read the description of the essay carefully, and make sure that you answer the question in the
way that it is worded. Pay attention to the word length indicated in the instruction and do not
exceed it. These essays are usually very short, and you need to be concise and strategic about
which interests or goals you decide to highlight. Do not try to “fudge” the prompt: answer the
question as stated (although most will simply say something like “Write a short statement of
purpose”).
Some fellowship applications may require a personal statement that addresses concerns of the
fellowship. For example, the Udall asks for an essay responding to Sen. Udall's speeches and
writings concerning the environment, the Soros seeks a personal account of what it means to be
a New American and how the Constitution and Bill of Rights affect your life, and the Truman
asks a series of interlocking questions. Such essays call upon all your critical capacities to present
an analysis, opinion or personal reflection, and they are similar to other essays you have written
in college.
Statements of purpose are required of all fellowship and graduate school applications. These
essays require you to describe clearly your interests, your proposed intellectual projects leading
towards major research or dissertation, as well as your plans for the future. They are the
committee's introduction to you as a scholar and potential colleague.
A statement of purpose or interest is very different than the personal essay you wrote for
undergraduate applications. It is NOT a general biographical sketch, nor is it primarily a
personal reflection upon your decisions to enter a field, nor does it focus on your extracurricular
activities (unless those activities pertain to your scholarly interests). You will not be asked
something like “View a photograph and describe it.” Being a scholar, researcher or teacher will
demand your best communication skills, so your essay should reassure the committee that you
can communicate effectively and with a deep understanding of your field. You should write in a
personable manner but this is somewhat different than writing a personal essay for undergraduate
admissions.
Keep in mind that you are writing to a particular audience, usually of faculty in your field
(unlike your undergraduate admissions essay, which was directed to a general admissions
committee). In other words, if you are applying for a chemistry PhD program, you will be
addressing fellow chemists, for history, fellow historians, etc. If you are applying to an
interdisciplinary program (e.g., History of Consciousness at Santa Cruz), your audience is a
diverse group of scholars (literature, history, philosophy, etc.) all united by a similar concern. If
you are applying to a fellowship, your audience is liable to be more general or interdisciplinary.
Be prepared to produce many drafts. These essays are among the most difficult pieces of
writing you may do related to graduate school (other than your dissertation and your first job
letter) because you must make so many strategic decisions on how to present yourself in such a
short amount of space. Allow yourself a lot of time for drafts, and do not get frustrated because
of the many times you will need to rewrite. Making multiple revisions is an inevitable part of the
process.
Show your drafts to faculty members, particularly those writing letters of recommendation,
fellow students, and others. Accept criticisms with as little defensiveness as possible. On
occasion you will get conflicting opinions on the presentation of your ideas and you will have to
decide which direction to take. If you have a leading faculty mentor, you may defer to his or her
opinion over others.
The “trick” of this essay is to transform supplication into conversation, to change begging into
exchange. Readers want to get a feeling of your intellect, and in a successful essay they will want
to continue the discussion you’ve initiated, which they can only do if they admit you into their
program. They will want you to be a part of their community of scholars because you have
something to offer. They ask: “Would I be interested in talking to this student about her
research over lunch?”
Concentrate on demonstrating what you know about your field and what you hope to
accomplish in graduate school and even beyond. Is there a particular area of the field that you
find interesting? What do you hope to contribute to the field? Avoid digressions.
Demonstrate your knowledge of the field by making appropriate references to leading
scholars, major writers, and current debates or concerns, employing appropriate technical
terminology. Avoid jargon that you believe is fashionable in order to appear flashy: most
committees can tell superficial use of buzz words. You usually do not need to explain concepts
in depth, since admission committees are usually already familiar with the field (although brief
explanations for a more general reader may be necessary for fellowship applications). If you do
write about an aspect of the field that may be somewhat unusual or controversial, your ability to
briefly explain technical or theoretical aspects is a crucial component of how your essay is
judged. You are not simply offering a summary of a field, so your ability to present your own
arguments demonstrates how creatively you engage the entire field.
Make concrete references to the program you are applying to and to the faculty you would
like to study with. However, make sure these references are sufficiently broad so that you do
not sound as if you want to study with just one person or have an excessively narrow interest in
the field. You may not realize it, but that one person you want to study with may be on
sabbatical for two years. Very often, the question is not whether or not you are capable, but
whether or not you are a good “fit.” So, don’t make your interest with the program so narrow as
to allow any excuse for an awkward fit. Investigate the program – review their web site, talk to
graduate students, visit in person, if you can – to discover its focus, how graduate students are
involved in research, its “politics” vis-à-vis the field. Do not inadvertently position yourself on
one or other side of a controversy within the department or field. Often, the discussion of the
particular program is at the very end of the essay (which allows you to simply place the
appropriate paragraph for each school). This is a regular convention of this genre, everyone
expects it, and you do not need to worry because you too write your essay this way. However,
you can write it differently: references to a particular program can be woven into the body of the
text, as well. This is far more difficult – and requires an original essay for each school – but it
can be very effective.
While you should discuss the particular area of your field from which you may develop a
dissertation topic, do not present an overly detailed proposal of your anticipated dissertation.
Most young scholars do not have their dissertation topics determined yet, and admission
committees anticipate that. Many committees will regard a detailed description of a dissertation
topic with suspicion, even deciding that a young scholar who has so determined his or her topic
without advanced work is not open-minded enough to other influences in the field. One of the
pleasures faculty have is in molding their graduate students. If you seem to have a closed mind,
they may find this unappealing. However, if you do have areas of interest, you should explain
them – just refrain from writing a detailed proposal.
You are fashioning a “fictional” version of yourself. While your account is always based on
truth, you have a great deal of freedom in constructing the image of who you are. You decide
what goes in and what does not, and in what order. The notion that you are writing fiction can
allow you some distance; the idea that this is “fiction” can free you up to be more creative and
less uncomfortable that you are “baring your soul.” However you construct yourself, never lie.
Not only is lying wrong, but lies are usually easily detected and self-defeating.
Construct coherence. No matter how different your intellectual or other relevant experiences
may be, seek out some way to bring everything together as a coherent whole. This is tricky and
difficult – but everything can be described as part of one sort of process or development or
another; there are always underlying connections. Trying to determine these questions is an
excellent topic for brainstorming with other people who can see you more clearly because they
have more distance.
Techniques for writing drafts. There are many ways to open your essay, many choices on the
order in which to present your involvement in the field, many different aspects of your academic
career to highlight. However, many people get hung up on producing an exciting opening. In
your initial drafting process, experiment with presenting yourself and highlighting your interests
in many different ways before settling on which approach is most compelling. One technique is
to write separate, independent paragraphs or groups of sentences describing different aspects of
your work (such as your research projects) or experiences without worrying about how they
connect or flow. At least in this way you can begin to articulate the important elements of your
essay and you have material to work with. You can experiment by avoiding any opening and
writing the body of your essay; or you can experiment with trying to write one short paragraph
that concisely says everything. Be playful in your experiments before you settle on one
approach.
Openings. Openings tend to get people hung up. Everyone wants to make a good, first
impression. But, often, once someone sets upon an opening, it tends to shape the rhetorical flow
of the rest of the essay, even distorting the essay. One suggestion is NOT to have an opening
but simply to start – avoid the high-stake gambit altogether. An opening that uses an anecdote
about your interest in the field is very popular. It can be very effective, and it’s a common way
that people can express their interests. But it’s so popular that it may come across as trite, unless
it is a very powerful, appropriate anecdote, and it must be short. (Often, people need to write an
anecdote in order to get themselves going, and when the anecdote is done, take a look at what
happens next: that may, in fact, be your opening.) Opening with a personal narrative (e.g., how
I became passionate about this subject) can be effective, but, again, this approach is very popular
and even overdone (“When I was six I was hit on the head at the playground, and ever since then
I’ve wanted to be a neuroscientist”). If you do use personal narrative, make it very brief and to
the point. Don’t spend half your essay relating a story. Another popular approach is to present a
chronology of your development. While a chronological account may be tempting – and may
be necessary for you to do at an early stage of writing – it is a fairly low-level rhetorical mode.
Another possibility is to open with at the most sophisticated level of your development, such as
the advanced research or honors thesis you are currently completing, and then describe how you
got to that point in the field. Often, an analysis of some aspect of your research interest or of
your own development can provide you with a way to discuss your overall development.
Present your interests according to an underlying theme, framing idea or argument that then
draws from the history of your involvement to illustrate your idea. No matter how different
your activities may be, you can draw a coherent picture of your development. At first you may
not think that climbing Mount Everest connects readily to a doctorate in mechanical engineering
or medieval studies – but if presented the right way, it could. Don’t reject any experience out of
hand. And don’t leave out things which you think are obvious. For example, your honors thesis
or research may show up on your c/v, but you give the meaning or “spin” to that reality in your
essay.
Do not present a complete list of courses in the field you have taken or an undifferentiated,
comprehensive description of your interest. You will need to make strategic decisions on how
you present your interest, deciding what is primary, secondary, etc., and making such decisions
may be difficult, even painful. You will have a transcript in your application, so you don’t need
lists that don’t “spin” explanations.
Address any anomalies in your transcript. If you have any lapses, unusual low grades,
withdrawals or anything else that seems strange, explain them in as non-defensive a way as
possible. For example, the fact that the first two years of college you were a mediocre student
until you discovered your intellectual passion or you withdrew from classes one quarter because
of illness or family problems. If you spent time in jail or joined a guerrilla army, you need to
figure out how to explain your history. In many respects, you do not need to explain everything
– and some things may be none of an admissions committee’s business – but you do need to say
something. If you do not explain the situation, your readers will invent explanations for
themselves – and their fantasies will probably be far worse than the reality.
Avoid excessive, unreasonable enthusiasm. Extreme effusion backfires. For example, statements
such as "I love 19th century British literature so much that I feel that I live in the 19th century" or
"I AM Nietzsche" or “I live and breathe sea urchins” suggest possible psychosis, not reasonable
enthusiasm. For the most part, exclamation points should be avoided.
Check your writing style for unconscious attempts at forced sincerity or authenticity. This is
a form of “begging” and it’s tough to spot, since you often don’t see if for yourself. For example,
check to see if your adjectives are excessive (“I took an amazing/astounding/awesome class”).
Often, no adjective is fine or a more restrained one has a better effect. Review “triples” or
“doubles” to see if they are indeed necessary and reveal important information. For example, if
the flow of rhetoric has you saying “I am dedicated, hard working, and committed,” you should
note that dedicated and committed are almost identical and the repetition has the effect of
undermining your sincerity. The reader gets a subliminal message flashing of “Baloney!” Don’t
follow rhetorical flow; follow the logic of your underlying coherence.
Be conscious of inflammatory or biased language. You may hold strong opinions about the
field or be motivated by particular causes. Do not mask your opinions, but be aware of
presenting yourself in a tactful, judicious fashion. You can express various views in such a way as
to present yourself as having an opinion yet remaining open-minded. You want to avoid coming
across as an extremist or as a crank that cannot enter a dialogue with others.
No jokes. Humor and sarcasm depend upon a shared field of reference – and you have no idea if
you and your readers have such a mutual understanding. Most of the time, self-deprecating
humor comes across as simply deprecating yourself, and sarcasm can easily be misunderstood.
One student who spent ten years working as a writer for situation comedies refrained from using
humor: if she refrained – and she knows the business – you can too. This doesn’t mean that you
should be leaden or dull, but avoid jokes or smirks or a wise-guy tone.
Do not write what you think the committee wants to read. Be yourself. Often, applicants
believe they should write according to some image of proper "academic" seriousness or style.
Your personal style and passion should shine through the essay. Although this is a formal essay
and you should avoid slang or overly casual constructions, its tone should be engaging, even
personable (though not personal).
Poofread the essay, roofpread the essay, prufreed the essay. Have your friends proofread it.
While this is not a grammar test, excessive typos and other mechanical errors indicate poor work
habits and do not make a good impression. Most admissions committees allow one typo (such as
“to” for “too”), but when the typos start adding up you’re sending a bad message.
After all this advice and warning, keep in mind that this is actually an exciting process.
Perhaps for the first time in years you are attempting to present a coherent intellectual portrait of
yourself. In the process you may actually gain a clearer vision of your interests and goals – and
feel even more confident that graduate study is the direction you want to go.
Contact the URP office for editorial review. We will be glad to review your essay at any stage
of the process. As you can tell, this is more than a narrowly defined writing process, so we may
ask you questions about your interests, your academic career, and other pursuits to see if
additional experiences should be included. We’re not trying to be nosey, but students often
leave out aspects of themselves that they think are obvious or not important when in fact they
are very valuable.
Adapted from original text by Hilton Obenzinger
© Copyright 2005 Stanford University.

yanglinfangUID: 3384822

http://www.stanford.edu/dept/und ... tementofpurpose.pdf

yanglinfangUID: 3384822

重点：
Personal statements and statements of purpose are perhaps the most important parts of
applications. There is little you can do to change your GPA or your curriculum vitae (the
academic version of a resume), but these statements can be written in many different ways,
emphasizing different aspects of your interests, goals, personality, and style. They present the
unique qualities that make you the candidate that a committee wants to select, and a good
statement of purpose can also affect those professors who will write letters of recommendation
for you. Consequently, you need to pay particular attention to their composition. Admissions
and approval committees have been known to accept candidates with uneven academic records
or reject otherwise excellent candidates on the basis of these statements.

Statements of purpose are required of all fellowship and graduate school applications. These
essays require you to describe clearly your interests, your proposed intellectual projects leading
towards major research or dissertation, as well as your plans for the future.

A statement of purpose or interest is very different than the personal essay you wrote for
undergraduate applications. It is NOT a general biographical sketch, nor is it primarily a
personal reflection upon your decisions to enter a field, nor does it focus on your extracurricular
activities (unless those activities pertain to your scholarly interests). You will not be asked
something like “View a photograph and describe it.” Being a scholar, researcher or teacher will
demand your best communication skills, so your essay should reassure the committee that you
can communicate effectively and with a deep understanding of your field. You should write in a
personable manner but this is somewhat different than writing a personal essay for undergraduate
admissions.

Keep in mind that you are writing to a particular audience, usually of faculty in your field
(unlike your undergraduate admissions essay, which was directed to a general admissions
committee). In other words, if you are applying for a chemistry PhD program, you will be
addressing fellow chemists, for history, fellow historians, etc. If you are applying to an
interdisciplinary program (e.g., History of Consciousness at Santa Cruz), your audience is a
diverse group of scholars (literature, history, philosophy, etc.) all united by a similar concern.

Show your drafts to faculty members, particularly those writing letters of recommendation,
fellow students, and others. Accept criticisms with as little defensiveness as possible. On
occasion you will get conflicting opinions on the presentation of your ideas and you will have to
decide which direction to take. If you have a leading faculty mentor, you may defer to his or her
opinion over others.


The “trick” of this essay is to transform supplication into conversation, to change begging into
exchange. Readers want to get a feeling of your intellect, and in a successful essay they will want
to continue the discussion you’ve initiated, which they can only do if they admit you into their
program. They will want you to be a part of their community of scholars because you have
something to offer. They ask: “Would I be interested in talking to this student about her
research over lunch?”

Concentrate on demonstrating what you know about your field and what you hope to
accomplish in graduate school and even beyond. Is there a particular area of the field that you
find interesting? What do you hope to contribute to the field? Avoid digressions.

Demonstrate your knowledge of the field by making appropriate references to leading
scholars, major writers, and current debates or concerns, employing appropriate technical
terminology.

You are not simply offering a summary of a field, so your ability to present your own
arguments demonstrates how creatively you engage the entire field.

Make concrete references to the program you are applying to and to the faculty you would
like to study with. However, make sure these references are sufficiently broad so that you do
not sound as if you want to study with just one person or have an excessively narrow interest in
the field.

yanglinfangUID: 3384822

继续
However you construct yourself, never lie.
Not only is lying wrong, but lies are usually easily detected and self-defeating.

No matter how different your intellectual or other relevant experiences
may be, seek out some way to bring everything together as a coherent whole.

One suggestion is NOT to have an opening
but simply to start – avoid the high-stake gambit altogether. An opening that uses an anecdote
about your interest in the field is very popular. It can be very effective, and it’s a common way
that people can express their interests. But it’s so popular that it may come across as trite, unless
it is a very powerful, appropriate anecdote, and it must be short.

Opening with a personal narrative (e.g., how
I became passionate about this subject) can be effective, but, again, this approach is very popular
and even overdone (“When I was six I was hit on the head at the playground, and ever since then
I’ve wanted to be a neuroscientist”). If you do use personal narrative, make it very brief and to
the point.　Don’t spend half your essay relating a story.

Present your interests according to an underlying theme, framing idea or argument that then
draws from the history of your involvement to illustrate your idea.


Address any anomalies in your transcript. If you have any lapses, unusual low grades,
withdrawals or anything else that seems strange, explain them in as non-defensive a way as
possible.

Avoid excessive, unreasonable enthusiasm.
Check your writing style for unconscious attempts at forced sincerity or authenticity.
Don’t
follow rhetorical flow; follow the logic of your underlying coherence.

Be conscious of inflammatory or biased language. You may hold strong opinions about the
field or be motivated by particular causes. Do not mask your opinions, but be aware of
presenting yourself in a tactful, judicious fashion.

yanglinfangUID: 3384822

No jokes.

Do not write what you think the committee wants to read. Be yourself.

读完之后觉得，能够按照这样的要求写PS的人本身必须有料才行。
也就是说，必须清楚自己为什么想要申请，明白自己的热情究竟在哪里，为什么会在那里。
这好像不是一般“想出国，想读研”的人能够去想的事情啊。
但恰恰是最关键的。
从个人的职业生涯来看，这也确确实实是最关键的。

yanglinfangUID: 3384822

有句话说得好，很多人都说想要挣大钱，但是其实只有极少数人*真*的*想，热切的想，拼命的想，废寝忘食的想，不分昼夜的想，舍弃很多冲着那个念头奔去，这样的人往往也做到了。其余的，只是嘴上说说而已，心里并没有那么大的热望。

放在申请上同样成立，很多人说想要进入名校，但是你的真正热望并不强烈，名校并不是关键，你自己对你选择的领域的热情以及了解才是，你热爱它，自然想去最好的地方了解它学习它，问问自己，我为什么要进入这个学校，为什么要选择这个专业，进入之后学习到了东西我想用它们做什么，这很重要。内心的渴望引导一切，为什么你选择法律而不是历史，选择材料而不是化学，为什么这个领域会如此让你着迷，而你又在这个领域有什么成就，你想要把自己的潜能开发到何种程度，以及使用它做什么，想要有怎样的未来，以及对那样的未来有多大热望，明白了这些，PS就可以写出来了吧。

yanglinfangUID: 3384822

;P个人观点仅供参考

球球糖UID: 3051372

是好材料啊   但是也有难度

karenleisunUID: 3361770

写了PS，结果发现大部分学校要STATEMENT OF PURPOSE:mad:

yanglinfangUID: 3384822

karenleisun 发表于 2012-11-18 20:00
写了PS，结果发现大部分学校要STATEMENT OF PURPOSE

呵呵，我也是，重新写啊。

yanglinfangUID: 3384822

附带一篇范文和写作建议

Growing up in Canada with a life-long fascination for Canadian geography and the environment, I have always been interested in returning to the country. Although my family moved to the United States before I entered high school, I have always kept my eyes turned north, especially in recent years as I began to read journal articles about research conducted at the University of Alberta on John Evans Glacier, located about 80° N latitude. Now I see the opportunity to return to my birthplace and study a topic I am passionate about. Graduating next semester with a B.S. in computer science and engineering and a minor in geographic information systems, I am especially interested in attending the University of Alberta for graduate study.
Geographic information systems (GIS) is a field especially suited to investigating spatial patterns, unearthing elusive geographic parameters, modeling diverse scenarios and overlaying spatial data. This semester, in my advanced GIS course, Spatial Data Structures and Algorithms, I am part of a team developing a temporal database and program for tracing historical trading data. My computer science skills have also been put to use in two summer internship projects, where I acquired proficiency with using LIDAR (light detection and ranging) technology, now favored by NASA in its current 10-year study of Greenland and changes in the ice cap extent. Through my coursework and project experience, I have also accrued skills in using Arc/Info, ArcView, Microstation, and RDBMS software packages, and I am equally comfortable programming in Visual Basic, C++ and Java.
For my graduate research project, I would like to investigate methods for improving current GIS data models to better incorporate time as a variable in studying climate change. Changes in glaciers and polar environments occur rapidly, and these changes become important indicators of broader, potentially catastrophic, global changes. By developing and applying temporal GIS methods to glaciology, I can contribute to improved spatio-temporal analysis techniques that will provide better insights into the factors impacting the polar environment and glaciers. In addition, I can discern which temporal methods generally serve as the best predictors, and provide benefits to the GIS research community that apply to areas other than glaciology.
Once completing my master's program, my long-term goals include either entering the GIS field as a professional consultant or continuing my research and earning my Ph.D. at another program of international reputation. Having advanced experience with temporal GIS technology would make me a valuable consultant to a company, especially in the twin burgeoning fields of computer science and GIS. If I decide to continue on the research path, I would be most interested in a Ph.D. program that allows me to conduct field research in Antarctica.
The University of Alberta is an ideal location for my master's degree study because it allows me to integrate my facility for computer science with my chosen application area—geology. My academic advisors and my own research into your university programs have confirmed your strengths in both computer science and glaciology, and the recent application of these areas to field research at Ellesmere Island in Nunavut, Canada, is especially appealing to me. With my deep-rooted interest in Canadian geology and recognition of the quality of your university programs, I hope you will give my application every consideration.

yanglinfangUID: 3384822

Do you long to make your mark in image sequence analysis, conduct research on robust 3-D object recognition or master exemplary cache management skills? Then you're probably headed for graduate school, and to get there, you'll need to write a persuasive personal statement. Whether it's called a personal statement, a statement of purpose or a letter of intent, the goal is the same—you have about 500 words to petition for admission into a program that probably receives 10 times more applicants than it can accept. A well-written, thoughtful personal statement will help elevate you above the crowd.
Discern the Criteria of the Essay Question
Although some applications may simply request a one-page statement without specifying any content guidelines, typically you are asked to comment on matters of personal background, work experience, research goals, long-term objectives and your particular interest in the program to which you are applying. Attend to each of these categories, perhaps devoting one short paragraph to each, explicitly and efficiently. Anchor your topic sentences in the language of the criteria (e.g., "My long-term goals are..."; "My past research endeavors include..."), followed by examples demonstrating the specifics of your background and the clarity of your thinking.
Articulate Your Personal and Professional Inspiration
Having read hundreds of personal statements over the years, I recognize how valuable it is to paint an interesting personal but professional picture of yourself. Some students make the mistake of discussing something far too private or unsettling in their personal background (such as a serious family crisis or a bout with depression), while others come off as a wannabe hacker or exude a "computers are really cool" naivete. Instead, give a thumbnail sketch that stresses positive and professional influence: a memorable and uplifting early experience, a high school or college project that ignited or deepened your interest in computer science, an especially inspiring teacher or relative who followed a career path that you emulate. The goal is to write an opening paragraph that no other candidate could have written, while striking a professional, positive tone.
Discuss Your Experience as a Set of Aquired Skills
With emphasis on professional experience and transferable skills, describe your background using action verbs (e.g., "I programmed..."; "I installed and maintained..."; "As part of a team, I redesigned..."). If you are not invited to submit a resume with your application, you may want to incorporate the job descriptions from your resume into your statement. Also, seek to interweave a discussion of your coursework, teaching and activities with a description of your actual work experience as necessary. Those Web pages you designed as part of a classroom project, or your work as a teaching assistant for a lab course, or your active involvement in the student chapter of a professional association can be just as relevant as an internship position.
Describe a Research Plan or Identify an Area of Research Interest
Herein lies the toughest yet most important job for most grad school applicants—describing your specific research interest. Recognize, however, that you are not committing to an unbreakable covenant, but simply identifying a compatible area of interest. For specifics here, turn to your previous coursework, think about successful projects you have already taken part in, and browse the host program's Web pages and application materials to determine what kinds of projects the professors and research teams undertake. Selection committees will give special attention to students who show an interest in theoretical computer science, or those who have a background in a related application area, such as chemistry, mathematics or geographic information systems, and successfully tie their interests to a projected area of research. Stress your desire and ability to solve relevant problems and address research questions.
Establish Long-Term Objectives
As with the discussion of a research plan, long-term objectives are not lifetime commitments but thoughtful, concrete plans. Valuable options here include specifying continued work in a particular research area, the desire to obtain a Ph.D. or teach at the university level, or future plans to work as an independent or corporate consultant. By articulating a reasonable long-term objective or two, you persuade a program that you are worthy of serious consideration. If you're hazy about long-term objectives, discuss some possibilities with an advisor in your field from whom you might also receive feedback on your personal statement.
Close by Discussing Specifics About the Program to Which You Are Applying
Learning all you can about the target program not only makes sense, it gives you concrete closing material to include in your essay. Many graduate programs include downloadable application materials on their Web sites, and just one phone call to the program's graduate office will secure plenty of materials. Also, be certain to research information about the faculty, perhaps reading some of the faculty publications to familiarize yourself with the research being done. Some students even email faculty whom they are especially interested in working with, establish a correspondence, and cite this interaction in their personal statement. The goal is to create a professional link between yourself and the program, its facilities and its faculty. Go beyond simply inserting the program name into your final paragraph; prove that you have done your homework.
Pay a Visit
Without question, an on-site visit is the best way to ensure a good fit between you and a graduate program, and graduate directors will always give special attention to candidates willing to make a visit. Do not count on being invited specifically to visit a program but set up an appointment on your own, ideally before or while your application is under consideration. While visiting the site, be certain to have relevant questions ready for the graduate director, ask to tour the facilities, and try to meet with a faculty member or two. If you are especially interested in a particular program, an on-site visit would be a finishing stroke to a perfect application.

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