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[作文] 请大虾点评下我的作文~ 谢谢 [复制链接]

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发表于 2012-11-26 11:21:08 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
Creative artists should always be given the freedom to express their own ideas (in words, pictures, music or film) in whichever way they wish. There should be no government restrictions on what they do.

To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Here is my writing:
Some people believed that the society should not set any restrictions on all works that created by creative artists. Because they thought it is a good way to inspire artists who will produce more great works. While other people suggested that it is need to have restrictions on artists’ works.

On one hand, talented artists are regarded as the imaginative group in society. As we know, they use common materials, and then it turned out a marvelous work which generally out of our expectation. Also, it is helpful for ordinary adults to horizon their knowledge. Moreover, those people who use their styles to express what our society looks like, and show part of realities be ignored. Sometimes, it will help us including children have better understanding of the real world.

However, there are some artists who like to express extreme ideas via unusual ways. Thus, they can be put themselves in the highlight on newspaper or internet. it can leads some passionate youngsters to follow the extreme trends who without careful consideration. One example, some fans painted violate pictures on public walls to show their cool ideas. So some people hope there is some government restrictions on creative artists due to they have impact influence on their followers.

In conclusion, I like to see the works created by artists who could let me become more imaginative. However, In order to have a positive phenomenon, I do hope there are some restrictions on artists. Then they can set good examples for average people.
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沙发
发表于 2012-12-4 00:16:01 |只看该作者
加油

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板凳
发表于 2012-12-27 17:01:11 |只看该作者
第一段最后一句“While other people suggested that it is need to have restrictions on artists‘ works.”  it is need 并不常用,建议改成。It is unnecessary to restrict artists' works, or there is no need to restrict artist' works, or there should be no regulations on artists' work.

其余段如下,红色部分即为改过的部分。

On one hand, talented artists are regarded as the imaginative group in society. As we know, common materials would turn out to be a marvelous piece of art work through the creative thinking of artists which is generally out of our expectation.Also, it is beneficial for ordinary adults to expand their outlook. Moreover, those people who express their thoughts freely can reflect what our society looks like and even reveal some of the realities which is ignored by the public. As a result, people including children will have a good command of the real world.

However, there are some artists who like to express extreme ideas via unusual ways to hit the headlines.it can lead some passionate youngsters to follow the extreme trends who is without careful consideration. For example some fans painted violate pictures on public walls to show cool ideas. Therefore, governments should set some regulations on creative artists due to their extensive influence on their followers.  

In conclusion, I would like to see the works created by artists which could afford me some inspirations However, in order to have a positive impact, I do hope artists are restricted to some rules so that good example can be set for average people

希望能帮到你。

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RE: 请大虾点评下我的作文~ 谢谢 [修改]

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请大虾点评下我的作文~ 谢谢
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