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[作文] ro老师求猛批 [复制链接]

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发表于 2012-12-21 13:38:41 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
本帖最后由 凯子啊哦 于 2012-12-23 13:26 编辑

It is better to finish one project completely in one period and begin to do another project than to do two or three projects at the same time. Do you agree or not? (Education)


Time is less and less nowadays. In contrast, mounting burdens urge people to find ways to deal with Successive projects. Hence, there are two ways to finish these project-- focusing on one project in one period or dealing with several projects at the same time, all of which show their indispensable value when dealing with tasks. From my orientation, I strongly incline to do several tasks at the same time.

Admittedly, some argue that being devoted to one project could finish task better since people only focus to one tasks. They would suffer less bothering when doing a certain task. If people deal with several tasks at the same time, it is ubiquitous that they may be bothered by other subjects, leaving none of the tasks complete appropriately. However, with the continuous and rapid development taking place in technology, these so-called drawbacks can be alleviated by modern technique, and the benefit from dealing multiple-tasks is highly desirable.

At very the beginning, very few, if any people would deny the significance of modern technique. Gone are the days when we can only count on ourselves to deal with a certain project. We are now in an era of communication. Ideas can be shared among the internet, problems can be tackled with the help of whole net-citizens, and information can also be reached via Google. Modern technique greatly boost our efficiency to deal with project, providing a possibility to deal with several projects at the same time. For example, in past, we have to bury ourselves on the library in order to find the certain information, and it is impossible for us to search several information at one time. However, with the fruit of modern technique, what we now need to do is type key words in the Google or your Ipad, and hundreds and thousands information pop out, providing a gateway to multiple-tasks. Under such circumstance, modern technique really helps.

What's more, multiple-tasks can provide people a better relaxation. We all have the awareness that it is not easy to finish a project. We may suffer hardships from both physical and psychological. Focusing on one certain project make us feel tired, which is not an efficient way in this epoch of fast-pace. And it is the time to exert multiple-tasks strategy, because a study published in science last year shows that the active of other parts of brain can better relax the certain part of brain that is overloaded. That is to say, for example, when tired at maths, try literate, which leave your brain a better rest to your "maths brain". This is just akin to what we feel in daily life.

Taking all these into consideration, modern technique boost our efficiency when we do several tasks. Our brain can get a better relaxation as well by multiple-tasks strategy. Thus my suggestion is to work with several projects at the same time.




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发表于 2012-12-24 12:40:14 |只看该作者
It is better to finish one project completely in one period and begin to do another project than to do two or three projects at the same time. Do you agree or not?

Time is less and less nowadays.(I know what you mean because in Chinese you probably have read or heard things like 现代人的时间越来越少, which is actually idiomatic i.e. the phrase has a meaning that is different from its literal meaning字面意思, because when you think about it, the generic idea of 'time' doesn’t become 'less'. You still have 24 hours a day and 365 days a year. It's the average time you have for each task that is less when you have more things to do. Chinese as a language has lots of such idiomatic, 'vague' expressions that you understand almost subconsciously because you're a native speaker of this language and you are familiar with the social contexts in which these expressions are used, but these things often don't make sense when you translate them into English.) In contrast, mounting burdens urge people to find ways to deal with successive projects. Hence, there are two ways to finish these projects -- focusing on one project in one period or dealing with several projects at the same time, both of which show their indispensable value when dealing with tasks. From my orientation ('orientation' is a choice with a sense of 'direction', in contexts where there are clear socially agreed 'poles' or categories, therefore people talk about 'sexual orientation' and 'political orientation'. Opinions and perspectives you can take on a general argument, on the other hand, don't usually have clear socially agreed categories, since opinions and perspectives can greatly vary from person to person – so these are not generally discussed as 'orientations'. Certain words are repeatedly used in certain phrases for a reason. If you are not fully confident with a word you want to use, especially if you are trying to replace the words in a very commonly used phrase like 'in my opinion' or 'from my perspective', I'd say don't try to be too inventive.), I strongly incline to do several tasks at the same time.

Admittedly, some argue that being devoted to one project could help to finish a task better since people only focus to one tasks. They would suffer less bothering (Not every <verb>-ing form can be used as a noun. Use proper nouns like 'distraction'.) when doing a certain task. If people deal with several tasks at the same time, it is ubiquitous that they may be bothered by other subjects, leaving none of the tasks completed appropriately. However, with the continuous and rapid development taking place in technology, these so-called drawbacks can be alleviated by modern techniques, and the benefit from dealing with multiple-tasks (There is no such compound noun. There is a verb that is 'to multi-task'.) is highly desirable.

At very the very beginning, very few, if any people would deny the significance of modern technique (You seem to have used 'technique' in place of 'technology', but 'technique' is not the same as 'technology' even though their Chinese translations might be the same. Do not replace words based on their Chinese meanings.). Gone are the days when we can only count on ourselves to deal with a certain project. We are now in an era of communication. Ideas can be shared through the internet ('the Internet' is a single entity, so you can't share 'among' it. 'among' only happens with multiple entities.), problems can be tackled with the help of whole net-citizens (The word 'netizen' has existed for quite a while now so you don't need to re-invent it. And, what you meant to say seems to be more like 'the whole community of netizens'..), and information can also be reached via Google. Modern technique greatly boosts our efficiency to deal with projects, providing a possibility to deal with several projects at the same time. For example, in the past, we have to bury ourselves in the library in order to find the certain information, and it is impossible for us to search for several pieces of information at one time. However, with the fruit of modern technique, what we now need to do is to type keywords in the Google or your Ipad, and hundreds and thousands pieces of information ('information' is an uncountable noun, so you can't say 'hundreds of information'.) pop out, providing a gateway to multiple-tasks. (True, and I agree Google is very convenient for getting information about daily life and answers to common, general or trivial questions. But if you are looking for something very specific, then 90% of what Google gives you would be largely irrelevant, so you still end up burying yourself in the search results in order to find really useful information..and this is particularly true for academic searches. As far as I've seen it, Google is really not that much more efficient than a well-stocked traditional library for the academically serious individual. Even Google Scholar is pretty rubbish.) Under such circumstances, modern technique really helps. (This entire paragraph feels like supporting evidence for the previous paragraph – which means they should be one paragraph.)


What's more, multiple-tasks can provide people a better relaxation. We all have the awareness that it is not easy to finish a project. We may suffer hardships from both physical and psychological perspectives. Focusing on one certain project makes us feel tired, which is not an efficient way in this epoch of fast-pace (You like to invent compound nouns where there are already existing nouns you may use..like, 'speed', which, when used in this kind of construct, will imply 'fast-ness'. You could, however, say 'this fast-paced epoch' as a last resort. Try to avoid inventing new compound words because English has a huge existing vocabulary, and I'm pretty confident that anything you would ever need to write in a TOEFL essay would already have a word for it.). And it is the time to exert the multiple-tasks strategy, because a study published in Science last year shows that the activation of other parts of the brain can better relax the certain part of the brain that is overloaded. That is to say, for example, when you are tired at maths, try literature, which leaves your brain a better rest for your "maths brain". This is just akin to what we feel in daily life.(This last sentence is completely unjustified.)

Taking all these into consideration, modern technique boosts our efficiency when we do several tasks. Our brain can get a better relaxation as well by the multiple-tasks strategy. Thus my suggestion is to work with several projects at the same time.


总结:

你绝大部分的问题其实都可以归结到一个问题:词用。各种使用中词性不搭配造成的语法问题,各种试图同意替换的时候造成的语义问题,还有会出现自造词(英语的词汇已经牛毛一样多的了你真的不需要再自己造词的)。。于是造成基本你每一句话我都明白你想说什么但是几乎每个词都让我觉得总似乎有点别扭 = = 所以建议你用词的时候多注意一下collocation,什么词经常和什么词搭配不和什么词搭配,什么地方该用名词而不是形容词之类的问题,不要光顾着翻译+替换。。



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板凳
发表于 2012-12-24 13:41:39 |只看该作者
天天坚持学习R老师批改,马上要动手paper了,保持语感。谢R老师!

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RE: ro老师求猛批 [修改]
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