大家看看这篇6分够吗？谢谢！

gathUID: 176268

3. Some people think that lawbreakers should be sent to prison. But others think that better talents among those should be made to work. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Last year, a talented young official who graduated from a renowned university of China was sent to prison due to the power abuse. This issue has sparked wide debate among the whole country. Some people argue that we should treat the talents specially while others insist all lawbreakers should be put into prison. I am in favor of the later view with no doubt.

Those who are against putting gifted criminals into prison held the sense that if we have them working instead, it is more likely to facilitate the economic growth. Some criminals are extremely intelligent so that they can find the loophole of laws to earn illegal money. It would be a great waste to simple imprison them.

The argument mentioned above, however, has ignored the critical role of laws---to ensure the social justice in any situation. Every citizen is equal in front of laws and regulations. Lawbreakers, therefore, should be punished without exception regardless of their social status, gender or intelligent quality. In contrast, the crimitting behavior of highly intelligent people has more detrimental effect on our society.

As far as economic growth is concerned, numerous evidences have shown that it should be based on the social justice. In other words, the social equality is the driving force of a prosperous economy. All developed western countries as well as some of our Asian counterparts have long enjoyed economic development ensured by strict legislation and law implementation.

To sum up, though the talents among lawbreakers can to some extent contribute to our society economically through working, we should still sent all the people who break the law to the jail as treating them differently would jeopardize the social justice and then harm the economy ultimately.

王了个帅UID: 3395602

個人感覺相當夠嗆

carols2012UID: 3404733

挺不错的呀。。。个人感觉..

aries_dreamUID: 2247690

6分不能再多了

mofaye520UID: 3399646

我觉得挺不错的呀。6分随便有吧。7都不为过吧。

gathUID: 176268

多谢各位！我也觉得应该能上6了。

王了个帅UID: 3395602

仔細的看了一下，總體還是不錯的。
有如下幾個問題你參考下：
1. 第二段你說 facilitate the economic growth，supporting在哪？
個人以為可以在Some criminals are extremely intelligent so that they can find the loophole of laws to earn illegal money 這句話后面加兩句：如果這些才能can be handled positively, 可以有巨大貢獻正能量之類的，然後加一個例子。then it's perfectly organized and illustrated.
2. 第三段In contrast 是個敗筆，該用 In fact。仔細體會一下。
3. 其他還有一些小的mistakes, 比如 due to the power abuse, simple imprison。