帮忙改作文啦

yhgggUID: 3399477

2.12.doc (24 KB, 下载次数: 1)

2013-2-13 15:44:34 上传

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lz求改作文 最近写作不但不进步，而且还退步显著 马上要考试了，lz帮我看看大概是个什么水平，怎么样能短期在提高一下，谢谢谢谢啦！！！

钰剑乘风UID: 3279007

求批改和指导~~

y178741000UID: 3001776

yhggg 发表于 2013-2-13 15:45
lz求改作文 最近写作不但不进步，而且还退步显著 马上要考试了，lz帮我看看大概是个什么水平，怎么样能短 ...

已改

niyanwen212UID: 3394387

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Governments should focus its budgets more on environmental protection than on economic development.

1Although the quality of people’ lives is better, environment is becoming increasingly worse.

2 Environment is linked extraordinarily closely to our human beings.

3Admittedly, economic development is essential.


With the rapid development of science and technology, material quality we own is far better than before. Automobiles, the internet and computers all lead to a convenient and efficient lifestyle. We, however, ignore the vital issue, the environmental protection. Personally, I consider it more important for the government to deal with the matter of environment.

Although the quality of people’ lives is enhanced, environment is becoming increasingly worse. Numerous trees have been cut down in order to produce paper for printing. For the sake of business, such energy as gas and oil is overly exploited. That leads to the horrible fact, in the future, we will run out of natural resources and have nothing to    . According to the research made by the Environment Protection Organization of Beijing, it shows the particles in the air become denser and the foggy days tend to appear more frequently. Nevertheless, all of these conditions are attributed to the ignorance of environmental protection.  

Moreover, environment is linked extraordinarily closely to our human beings. If the environment of the earth was too fully polluted for us to live in, we would have no place and maybe fly to the Mars. Also, most of living organisms depend on the environment including animals and plants. Virtually, we could use electrical or mechanical for fun or improvement but we rely on the food, water and air to survive, which are influenced by the quality of environment. Therefore, the importance of environmental protection is obvious to see.

Admittedly, the concerns on economics are also essential. The stable development of economics can abridge the gap between developed and developing countries and let everyone live a comfortable and convenient life. No one will hate the benefits brought by the growth of economics but compared with the issue of environment, the latter is more of emergency.


LZ,不好意思附件传不上来，只好贴上来了，作文水平一直不行，希望得到一点意见

ailin1232UID: 3239593

求改，谢谢啦~~

anglinUID: 3166716

问一下大大一个题目的思路.
20120211的talented people's leadership is born by natural and can't be learned by people.
那么这道题我的思路是这样
否定.
1,领导能力包括了很多,比如沟通和规划等,而沟通需要学习在不同场合下不同方法技巧.
2,如果是天生的话,那么他应该在一开始就展现出来,比如部分人对数字或音乐比较敏感,并且能够很快记忆(我想用呼吸作为例子,但是好像这是一种条件反射不能用在这里?)
3,领导能力需要一定的专业知识作为基础.而这些基础需要学习.

可是我总觉得都不对.
望点评.

y178741000UID: 3001776

anglin 发表于 2013-3-6 20:36
问一下大大一个题目的思路.
20120211的talented people's leadership is born by natural and can't be le ...

建议你做分类写，把leadship分为三类，作为三段，找三个可以学习的这种做论证，采用举例，数据这些手法来组织你三段的语言就可以了，你现在这样的思路比较混乱，就以你的第一点，然后展开三种不同的leadship就OK

enid317UID: 3406330

这周末考托，求指点~~~谢谢！

anglinUID: 3166716

y178741000 发表于 2013-3-17 23:22
建议你做分类写，把leadship分为三类，作为三段，找三个可以学习的这种做论证，采用举例，数据这些手法来 ...

可惜我考完了