top作文习作（更新中）

jingbeiUID: 3269808

实在不喜欢写作文所以就开个帖子自我激励一下…希望考前这几天能坚持好…
［如果有人愿意互改的话q395711822..不过我马上27号就考试了所以….唉］还是至少先过自己这关把...

TPO7

INTEGRATED

Whether will producing the ecocertified products becomes a new trend in United States is an issue gaining different opinions between the reading and the lecturer.（这句话被我说的好绕，改成The popularity of ecocertified products in United State is still an open question with the reading and the lecture holding different opinions. 会不会好些.. While the reading strongly claims that it is seemingly impossible to be the next move of United States' companies, the lecturer does believe this will become a real hit in the future market. （it 在这里指代不明确，后面的this也和前面的products不统一）

First of all, the reading and the lecturer hold opposite consumer estimation about their attitudes towards ecocertified products. The reading mentions that ecocertification label would not catch the American consumers' eyes since they have already been over exposed to all kinds of advertisement.（感觉这里很奇怪，还不如直接按照原文的逻辑总结） On the contrary, the lecturer believes that consumers do distinguish good from bad through the advertising. As a matter of fact, most of them have confidence in international agencies which they find trust worthy and thus might want to give a try on the ecocertified products with these agency's certificate. 加上红字可能把thus的逻辑关系说的更清楚

Secondly, unlike the reading, the price is not always the deciding factor during the purchasing （during这个用法很奇怪，没有在强调过程，直接用to buy something比较直白？）according to the lecturer. On one hand,（删除，后文未做对应） the reading believes that consumers would not choose ecocertified products because they have to bear for the further cost of certificate. Admittedly the price of ecocertified products is higher, the reading finds it would(写混了，检查真的太重要了...应该是the lecturer finds it is not) too high to prevent consumers from buying it, In fact, the added cost is so small when compared with its environmental friendly characteristic. Americans have become more and more interested in green issues that they would love to buy something green, even it cost more.（整段的逻辑线有一点不清晰，先说了价格不是决定因素［那什么是？］然后说reading认为人们不会买环保产品因为有更多的cost［直接讲更贵然后多说一句贵的原因］，然后说价格是贵了但是贵的不多如果产品环保的话。爱环保的人是愿意买的＝＝＝＝写的好混乱～～～最好先说大前提，人们在价格差距大的产品上可能会以价格作为购买的决定因素，如果差距不大人们会考虑产品的其他品质——然后说reading认为the higher price will not be favored by the us consumers——但是lecturer反驳这个extra price不大，可以接受——plus美国人越来越环保——所以人们愿意为了环保而买稍微贵一点的东西。）

Thirdly, the lecturer refutes the idea of the reading as the American companies should focused on their domestic market. The wood companies are expected to keep up with the developments worldwide since they are always caring about international competition. If the ecocertificated products became a new trend domestically, the foreign companies would crowd in with the US companies doing nothing to meet the need.
这一段总结的也不好，没有把听力的细节写进去以及，因为试图缩略还是逻辑跳线了….


INDEPENDENT

People have long quest for the truth of education, searching and practicing all kinds of pedagogy for thousands of hundreds years. What is really important in learning something? I belive it is the simple but elegant concept, rather than the detailed but trivial facts. that really matters.句子都没写完整...

Admittedly, the facts do give students an easy start in learning.Take the instance of history learning. Facts help us to understand the historical trend by being the clues of it. The story of George Washington of cutting down the cherry tree always tells the meaning and the value of bravery and honesty. The hardship of United State slaves' escaping way toward Canada teaches us the meaning and the value of freedom. The death number of the World War Two reminds the students the meaning and the value of peace. These facts are accumulated and combined together, developed into the real important concept that will always light us in dark （这个比喻法是否可以用？）even when we have already forget the history details.

The concepts are the achievements of true understanding. Students can always pass the examinations by just remembering the facts. But these students might never get a chance to see the meaning underlying the stories, formular and details. Students can always pass the school examinations, but they will forget these things right after the test, never ringing a bell again in their life.（句式重复凑字数的嫌疑） Without understanding, they could not apply the idea into practice because they merely get an answer for the question on the test paper, not the question from our daily life. In short, without understanding the facts, the pile of facts in mind are just useless. 感觉论证非常薄弱，需要举具体例子说明。

Further more, the concepts help the students to be creative. Learning ideas from facts would make the ideas become one's own fortune. They are no longer textbook knowledges but the solutions to many problems. They（指代不清，应该用students） could even build up new theory by borrowing one concept to another idea, or combining them together. They would avoid the mistakes that Napoleon ever made since they have got the idea（什么idea？）, and they may even come up with new solutions.什么solution？ Plus, when students gradually become used to digging out the true meaning of the facts, the essence, they would be much more insightful than before. 还是需要例证或者详细说明，否则文章太空洞了。

All in all, the concepts developed from the facts, the facts are the basement of the ideas. Both are essential to the students, but the understanding of the concepts always comes first.

jingbeiUID: 3269808

今天开始的比较早..希望等下再次看自己写的作文能发现错误...

TPO 8

INTEGRATED

The historical value and the accuracy about Chevalier's memoir has been questioned（用完成时感觉有点怪 by the reading with three quite obvious doubts. However, the lecturer explains in other angles of these episodes, confirming the memoir of Chevalier to be trust worthy. trustworthy中间没有空格

Firstly, the loan from the merchant does not equals a poor economical condition, claims the lecturer. According to the reading, Chevalier had borrowed quite a deal of money from a Swiss merchant, indicating that he could not be rich with a need for a big loan. But since Chevalier had a lot of sales back then in Switzerland, plus his obsession to parties and gambling, he  always needed to borrow some money while waiting his own assets converted into cash. Therefore, the lecturer believes Chevalier were rich in fact.听力中的细节展开不够

Secondly, the conversations between Chevalier and Voltaire are believable since（用because？） Chevalier had used to keep notes, and referred to the notes while writing the memoir. Even the Chevalier wrote the memoir many years after the conversation, he still had an accurate record because he wrote down the conversation （with everything he remembered into the note不然前面的note的逻辑说的很模糊，最好一开始就说明然后再指代）every night after talking with Voltaire during the day. Thus, the doubt of the reading could be solved by the lecturer because the notes offered the memoir a solid record／resource of the conversations. 先肯定正确性，然后说发现c一直有给谈话做记录－展开写怎么记录，每天把所有都写－所以即使很多年后写memoir还可以保证准确性。这段的问题时把细节放在最后了，逻辑线就乱了－ －

Thirdly, the lecturer finds the story much more plausible than the bribing hypothesis raised by the reading. According to the lecture, most of the prisoners in Venetian prison then, who were wealthy enough to afford the bribe and had had even wide connections than Chevalier, did not make the escape. （感觉could not make a escape更准确- -）So it is of low possibility that Chevalier could escape by bribe. What is more, the government document says that the ceiling for Chevalier got repaired right after his escaping, which renders a reasonable support for his special method of running away. 这一段两个层次分的比较清楚，第二个部分可以说的更详细一点。听力用了一个反问句，可以再作文中在加一句双重否定。if he did not escaped by destroying the wall, there would not be such an coincidence that the signal cell was repaired.

INDEPENDENT

Criticism over advertisings is just as available as the advertising itself. （形容词用的太奇怪了.. as abundant as 都比现在这个好把。托福200句里面有个no invention has recieved more praise and abuse than internet 感觉是不是可以在这里改写成，advertisings has received as much as abuse as the amount of themselves?）The real influence of these advertisements on our young children might need deeper discussion before the harsh（感觉自己当时想用的词应该是rash） conclusion of banning them all. I do believe there are some benefits of these advertisements if our children are well directed by parents at the same time.

First of all, we should admit the disadvantages and misleading brought by the advertising if our children are exposed without other guidance. Basically, the advertisements on those junk food and a variety of toys will mislead our kids of their importance. These advertisements might work through the images of some famous cartoons, pushing kids to favor those products and thus asking those parents to buy them. However, the purchase might not be wise choice since some products only help to ruin our kids mentally and physically. What's more, young children always have their own fashion. The desire to possession of a certain kind of products is frequently caused by a new wide spread television advertising. Every kid wants to own a toy with there are always some family could not be afford, and thus always some kid being discriminated.当时一定是狗急跳墙了才写出这样的句子把... This phenomenon also happens between kids from time to time. Thus, the parents would have to play a real important role in between to make the advertisement becoming beneficial.

To begin with, these television advertising are good chance for educating the kids of some basic idea of possession. It is significant that we all realize that,（奇怪，不如直接说it is widely acknowledged that） people are always full of desires and  so do our kids. If we never find a right way to deal with our desire, it won't be any helpful just by banning the television advertising. Smart companies will always find another way to selling their products, arousing you and young children's desire.  （应该在这里小总结一下the key lies in a rational way to deal with the desire）Therefore, when children were attracted by the television advertising and turned to their parents for the products, parents might take following actions. These steps are my parents' own experience which turned out to be quite successful to me and my younger sister.

First step, communicate with the children about the reason why they want to buy the toy and the extent that they desire to own. Parents could even help the kids make a desire list of all the products they dreaming to have. If the reason is quite reasonable and the products are healthy or at least not harmful for the kids according to the adults' judgment, parents could agree with children's demanding.

Second step, communicate with the kids on how could the they get the products. It is always the best chance of a responsibility lesson and a basic financial lesson for these young children. Parents could asking to children to finish certain simple assignments that they are capable to accomplish, such as dressing on one's own, go to bed early and eat regular meals. or even helping out with some house work. Therefore, the young children would know nothing comes without cost and thus felt more cherishable about the product, just because they gain it by their efforts.

All in all, the television advertising could be of great help to our young children's development.（提前写好结尾以免时间不足不足不足….）

整个文章有点头重脚轻，因为前面的让步比较好写就写多了，后面的步骤其实有点偏题的感觉…
应该要一开始就承认广告有好也有坏，但是坏也可以变好／而且我们禁止广告不可能禁止小孩的欲望之类的….
看来我已经思维定势了….
本来最后几段应该是要讲优点的，反而一直都在说优点的condition。不知道应该怎么修改，求高人指教！！！

sodapengUID: 3242849

lz加油哈~
推荐下https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1450941-1-1.html
一起写作文 互改也是很好的提高方式哈~

jingbeiUID: 3269808

TPO9

按照昨天看到的秋雨关于综合写作误区的经验贴之后，修改了自己写作的思路，把一直强调reading的内容改成和听力的呼应，减少了之前各种从句。。。

INTEGRATED


Although it is agreed by both the reading and the lecturer that the internal-combustion cars bring air pollutions and harm the environment, the lecturer finds the reading's assessment on hydrogen engines is far from compelling with three strong evidences. （essessment这个应该是从听力里面直接用来的，感觉有时候lecture自己开头就总结的很好，好过while... however这样的开头）

In the first place, the lecturer refutes the statement of the easy access to the hydrogen energy claimed by the reading. Although it is true that there is plenty hydrogen energy in the water, it is not easy to be separated from water directly. The production of pure liquid hydrogen, a demanding artificial product, requires complex process and high producing costs. Besides, the same difficult as the producing, the storage of pure liquid hydrogen also needs freezing cold temperature hundreds below the zero point. （感觉原文也是直接说producing和storing都需要低温）Therefore, there is no solid evidence to argue the renewable resource is easily available.

What is more, the lecturer contents that the hydrogen producing process would also lead to all kinds of pollutions.Since producing the pure hydrogen demands high energy supports from coal or oil burning, which is not at all environmental friendly. （果然还是出现不完整的句子了，前面since后面又用which我是闹哪样...来得及检查就能把since去掉）Thus, the reading is right about the fact that hydrogen is clear energy, but it also fails to see the pollution that happens during the production of hydrogen.

Beside the high financial and environmental cost of producing hydrogen, the prohibitive price of a suitable hydrogen engine also makes this new technique not economically efficient at all. A special kind of metal is necessary to power the engine while currently no substitute metal is available to take its place. However, this special metal named platinum is extremely expensive, thus making the engine rather costly, 断句重新开始！and this increase the cost of using the hydrogen energy. (The cost for the special engine due to the expensive component make the hydrogen energy not as cheap as the reading suggests.)



今天写的时候没注意时间没写完 可是感觉还是非常混乱的文章，应该要想办法回到简单说话的路子上来。

INDEPENDENT


It is widely but ironically agreed by many people that technology, the creative results of human intelligence, are making our children less creative than before. Although seems reasonable at first glance, I am not convinced with this harsh arguments. The technology is the coal to fuel our children's creativity by mainly three dimensions. （感觉是不是下面三个层次有点递进好像不是独立的维度，而且by至少也应该改成from的样子...不过感觉没有充分把握还是不要写递进的逻辑，毕竟非常容易让分论点之间牵扯不清...反而显得逻辑混乱）

In the first place, the technology helps to pile up the basement for creativity, the knowledge. As well all know, accumulation of knowledge will ultimately lead to something new by one's own. Not to mention the famous say of Issac Newton of "standing on the shoulder of great people", the cases of new inventions or improvements of certain products happens everyday.（第二句话没有在进一步展开自己的前面的论点也没有证明why and how could accumulation leads to creativty....可以干脆删掉因为后面分了两个层次递进论述了） Living in a much intelligent society, children could learn and understand the basic knowledge faster and easier with the help of technology. Hundreds of years ago, students only got boring textbook on astronomy, while children living in our technical era, learn astronomy lessons from flash movies showing the rotating of earth. What's more,knowledge produces inventions. Our grandfathers could not have a chance to invent anything like a remote controller since they did not know there is something work as a television. （this must be one of the worst analogy that I have ever made...it's just a problem of timing...after all grandfathers invented television first....no envidence has prove the knowledge produces creativity）When children are aware of more available skills, it is of higher possibility that they could turn an idea into practice.
不停在
偏题...
....

Further more, thanks to  the technology, our children are much more connected to the entire world. The internet is making the earth into a global country. Children could be informed of all kinds of events happening around the world and thus enables them to have stronger ability to imagine. They could have new ideas on solving the problem in their life because they have heard some similar solutions from a netizen or other online friends. Internet also encouraged them to dig out information by themselves which might be merely a click on the button. The easy access to the world lead them to communicate with other people, to digest fresh ideas and ultimately, produce their own fascinating things. （这一段的观点和后一段的探索精神给牵扯起来了... 下一段也不好说什么as mentioned above之类的吧，只能说beside facilitate the connections, technology encourage the kids....怎么样都觉得第二段是第三段的分论点..............还不如直接合并最后加一个让步段- -）

Last but the most significant, the technology drives our children to explore by themselves. Our world is alway changing fast with more questions to be solved than solutions offered. Some special social network websites are designed to offer a platform for seeking answers. Members of these websites are encourage to answer others questions not only for the credits they gain from the web, but the satisfactory of success. People who asked important questions are also admired as they are the start of the new knowledge. This success continues to encourage people keep curious about the world, keep to raise questions and keep to find the answer. This spirit of science will start a loop, a positive circle to make our children creative.（应该要在这里举一些具体的例子吧..可能当时觉得知乎和百度知道没人知道...查了一下国外类似经验交互类问答网站有StackExchange，Brainly，segmentfault，formspring之类的...唉...）


All in all, the technology benefits our children both mentally and physically. Admittedly, some kids might become addicted to certain video games or other electronic products. When well controlled, we could still make our children harvest something different even from video games.  

唯一能够拯救这篇文章混乱逻辑线的方法就是改成两个例子加一个让步...但是其实托福独立写作也不需要总是举这些抽象的例子。感觉应该努力让自己的句子更简单，或者至少长短结合（这样读起来才能感觉抑扬顿挫- -）然后把分论点弄的更简单，明确（比如直接facilitate children to learn more knowledge）

jingbeiUID: 3269808

TPO 10

INTEGRATED

Different explanations for the decline of sea otters are held by the reading and the lecturer. The lecturer strongly refutes the unconvincing explanations of the reading with three alternative theories. 感觉这种开头太弱了...还是比较习惯让步一下然后强调不同..不过感觉还是简洁清楚最重要。

In the first place, the lecturer argues that predator explanation better explains the fact that no dead bodies of otters had really been found. The lecturer mentions that it is impossible with no dead otters if they are killed by the poisonous chemicals released by the factories. Dead bodies would be always washed away to the beaches under this special situation（当时一下子忘记circumstance怎么拼了...）. This phenomenon of no dead bodies only makes sense if the otters are eaten by their predators. 感觉在这边应该先写出lecturer指出并没有otter的尸体，然后说这个why no dead bodies，不然的话这里的这种better explain the fact的说法是没有比较对象的- -毕竟reading并没有要解释这个现象。

What's more, the predator theory（用原文的hypothesis比较好） compellingly explains the decline of both sea lions and seals. Since whales have been long disappeared from the area due to the overhunting by human beings, the orcas would have to take smaller prey such as otters, seals and sea lions to survive. This perfectly explains why other sea mammals are also endangered at the same time. 应该要说明为什么这个比原文的pollution更有可能，但是好像没听到这种比较...

Besides the new food resource for orcas, their accessibility to the location also explains why there could be a uneven pattern of otter decline. As the lecturer claims, it is not the pollution caused uneven pattern since the water would help to spread chemicals all over the coast. （这个自己补充的理解也不知道行不行...感觉lecturer只是论证了predator hypothesis的可能性，但是没有证明为什么更有可能...）The orca, which is a large animal, cannot reach those shallow and rocky coast areas. And these places perfectly fit with where the population of otters have not been changed. Thus, the predator theory has a more compelling explanation for the uneven declining.

In sum, the lecturer finds the reading is not solid to explain the decline with available pollution source.


INDEPENDENT



There is no other inventions like computers could have gained as much admirations as abuse at the same time. The issue of computer games always hits the newspaper headline, causing debates from experts to parents. But as far as I am concerned, playing the computer games would greatly benefit our children as long as they are not addicted to it.（我自己的这个but用的好莫名..其实前面并没有完全否定只是说有debate而已...）

First of all, the computer games offer a relaxing chance for children struggling in modern society. They could get absolutely relaxed with the game, forgetting the boring and stressed daily life knowledge 删 for a while. It is widely acknowledged that children today are no longer living in a slow pace as hundreds years ago. For instance加上更明确下面是举例吧..They maybe cannot find a chance to travel around Rome since they have got all kinds of assignments to accomplish. However, it is possible for they to have a glance in some Roma setting computer games just for one hour. It might help they to restore the energy and come back to the homework with better efficiency. After all, they get enough relax. Also, children could find some extra knowledge which they cannot learn from a physics（改成normal就好，直接用physics感觉很奇怪..本来想和后面的例子做对比，可是本来历史和物理就没可比性啊...） class. Many computer games are designed based on history events, thus offering great chance to educate children unconsciously. They might get interested into the new knowledge, actively digesting new terminology without a examination burden.

What's more important and valuable is that computer games are ideal places where children could learn how to compete as well as how to cooperate. Most of computer games are substantially competitions. Children have to perform well enough to get themselves leveled up and consequently win admiration in the game world. 删They learn the importance of being competitive naturally from the somewhat cruel rules of the game and become more result-oriented to find solutions to win. Further more, since most complex computer games requires team work, the desire to compete leads our children to understand the significance to cooperate with other players. No one could ever deny this is/THESE ARE just the similar rules of our society. Eventually,这个词很不恰当，不如therefore computer games benefit our children by help them get a taste of the real world under much smaller risks. （不知道为什么句子读起来很不通畅）

Admittedly, the addiction of computer games is harmful for children both mentally and physically.Keeping playing might ruin their health as well as break their spirit. Those voilent and sexual information implied by the computers is also a big worry for the parents.  But why not try to think in another perspective: what if we could have a better control over that? Children could certainly understand what is for their own interest and they have got their own rational minds. Well directed by the adults, the computer games could be of great beneficial resource for our children. And we should have confidence in them as well.

All in all, not only does the computer games help our children gain a breath out of busy studying schedule, but also train our children to fit into our society. And the last but important word to mention is that, addiction to anything would not be too beneficial for both kids, and adults.感觉还是要加点题句：Computer games benefits every kid with a rational mind.


我只能说简化的努力算是比较显著的...不过也可能是因为题目比较简单.....

jingbeiUID: 3269808

TPO 11

INTEGRATED

Although it is agreed by the reading and the lecturer that less people read literature today, they have got quite different assessments towards the reasons of this fact and 删its consequences. The lecturer believes that reading less literature does not necessarily leads us to a poorer culture situation for mainly three reasons.

In the first place, the lecturer argues that it is unfair to assume other books besides literature are not illuminating. Those science books, history books and political analysis books are just of high quality as those literature books. Also, they are creative enough to stimulate our readers' imagination as well重复了删. Thus, the reading public would not miss this important benefits even if they read less literature.

What is more, granted that people read less literatures or even less books, the culture level is not all being lowered. The forms of culture have been changed today with much more forms availbe. People could gain knowledge and get cultural information from those beautiful music and excellent movies as well. In fact, these different forms might lay positive influence on the public more directly than books.

Last but not least, the lecturer contends that, sometimes it is the authors' responsibility of the phenonmenon, not our readers'. Many modern （当时听漏了）literature books are too difficult to read and thus attract less audience.The reading is uncompelling to think readers today are not serious as the those in early times.（这个也听错了，原文说的应该是it's unfair to assume that early generations would read more modern literary than today.） In short, it is not the readers to blame for the poorer literature books and the whole vicious circle of literature publishing arena.
简单句子感觉通畅多了...检查了一次所以拼写错误少了很多...

INDEPENDENT

No one would deny the fact that we have already stepped into an information era. But how to survive and thrive in this new period with all kinds of information explosion around, is another story. As far as I am concerned, the Internet provides us plenty of valuable information, but also requires us to make wiser choice.

First of all, internt offers all kinds of information that we could aquire through a single click on the button（..真是bottom和button傻傻分不清楚呢）. Searching engines faciliate our prey for information, greatly enhancing our efficiency by providing the most popular results first. From traveling advise to shopping guidiance, the Internet seems to be a magical box available for everyone. Furthermore, online journals and database save millions of hours that researchers might waste in libraries. It also keeps them updated with the acadamics front line. Thus, Internet is driving our society to develop better with a special fuel named information.

What is more, Internet sometimes even intelligently provide you the specific information according to your browsing records. According to the enormous data the Internet could collect from our tiny movements, such us our major searching topics, our shopping habits, even pinpointing the location we working and livng, the Internet has becoming smarter and smarter. From my own experience, I could always see education advertisements showing on the blank parts of my email box, just because the Internet knows I am trying to apply for a graduate school due to my searching history. I have to admit these advertisements offers great help, but also they are kind of annoying sometimes.

As I have mentioned above, Internets also 删 creates bad experience as well （上一段结尾刚用过also..）. And unfortunately, we human beings are not computers and our brains could not 24 hours as the electronic chips. We got tired not only physically and mentally. Your private information might be revealed through the social networks unconsciously. And your email addresses might be flooded by thousands of junk mails.（奇怪的是我突然把人称换到第二人称然后又迅速转回we...应该要统一成为we/our/us）This information plague creates troubles that we cannot even comeover/OVERCOME by our single efforts. It calls for a better web regulation. Perhaps the only solution that we could give a try to defend ourselves is to be careful at the very first删 beginning. 感觉应该改成 but actually there is one thing we can do by ourselves....

In sum, the Internet not only help us to become a excellent information collecter, it also pushes us to become a better information organizer. We need to be very caustious about our private information as well as suscribing online service. If we are not expecting any information problems especially private issues, we should manage the Internet actively. Never become the slave of Internet, but make it our smart assistant.

【天天写作文..进步看得见..哦也...忽视我...今天的明明时间不够了】

秋雨荆州UID: 2903781

加油~

jingbeiUID: 3269808

TPO 12

改了一半手抽了居然把页面关掉了...

INTEGRATED

A new professional portrait of a teenager girl has causesd debates on whether this girl is Jane Austen. Although the reading has came up with three strong evidence to claim it is a portrait of Jane, the lecturer explains these evidence in other perspectives and finds them to be unconvencing at all.

First of all, the endorsement of the Austen's family is not actually as solid as the reading suggests. （这里有逻辑错误，不是endorsement itself not solid, but taking it as an evidence for the portrait）The portraits was permitted by Austen family on the publication at 1882, at which point Austen had already passed away for nearly 70 years. That means, no one in the Austen family actually had seen Jane face to face. Therefore, the family memeber could not know for certain whether the girl is Jane or not and the family endorsment is not a valid evidence at all-delete.

What is more, the resemblance between the portraits and the sketch could lead to another conclusion: the teenager girl could be a relative for Jane Austen. The Austen was really a big family with many teenager girls at the same period of Jane Austen and many of they beared similar lookings on the eyes and nose-deleted. In fact, it is of high possibility that this this a portrait of Mary, a distant neese/niece of Jane Austen. In short, the similarity between the two paintings hardly proves the conlcusion that the teenager girl is Jane.

Finally, further evidence indicates that the time of the portraits does not fit the age of Jane back that time. (age of the teenager girl in the portrait does not fit Jane's when the portrait was painted)The style looks like to be Humphrey, but the time might not be right. The stamp on the back of the portairts suggests this paiting canvas belongs to a convass seller name Williams Leg. However, at the time that Williams started a business on canvas, Jane Austen was already 17, much older than the girl in the portraits. Consequently, the lecturer refutes the similar style of Ozias Humphrey to be a compelling evidence for the reading.

simple sentence!!

INDEPENDENT


The debates on specialist or generalist have long lasted of many aspects, from education to society devleping. As far as I am concerned, the reason why people find it hard to draw a conlusion,is just because both kinds of people are necessary in our world. No comparison could shed a light on which is better, but there are thousands of evidence to prove they are equally vital to our society. (Unclear beginning...just state both are importable and they are not strictly comparable)

For one side, specialists guarantee the efficiency of the work and the social developing. First, we need to see-deletethe reason that we need specialists lies in the labor division. Then-delete why do we need labour division? Because with labour division, we could carry out different missions together at the same time. With this, we could dedicate ourselves to one single task at one time and becom much more proficient in it. With this, we could manage the work in faster pace, lower costs, and then exchange the results with each other. With the whole process of labor division, we not only produce specialists, but more importantly,  we produce high productivity. Imagine this world without lawyers to defend justice for the poor men with little knowledge on the government regulation. Or imagine this world without the doctors to provide professional skills and medicines for the sick children surviving from canser or malaria.The world will be in a mess. We could not have evovled into such a civilized world without thousands of specialists devoted to expand specific fields together. Specialists might only contribute to very limited area, but together they make a difference,

On the other side, our society is also in great desire for generalist. A generalist would better benefit our society based on the high productivity produced by the specialists, because they have a more comprehensive understanding toward the whole situation. They could coordinate different interests and spot a better balance among confilicts. Thus, our fast developing society need leaders with broad knowledge. Those government leaders are always being expected to have broader horizons than anyone else. Otherwise they might have ruined our countries with short term interest but long-term disasters. The vice president of United State, Mr.Al Gore, is not only a brilliant policial icon, but also a environmental pioneer. Due to his awareness and his knowledge on environment especially climate change issues, the America has already stepped into a green era. .....(too much effort on developing the argument for specialist and now limited time for generalist..)

What else worthy to notice is that, it is also possible for individuals to be both specialists and generalists. Not to mention the famous physics scientisit Erinsten who also played excellent violins, or the Kant who only only showed amazing talents on both math and philosephy, ordinary people have owned a wider range of knowledge than ever before at the basement of their unique specialty. Thanks to the improvement of Internet and the wide spread education resource, people today are much exposed to the heaven of knowledge.

U deserve it!- -no time for a good conclusion...

jingbeiUID: 3269808

TPO13

INTEGRATED

Admitted that there are certain disadvantages brought by the private fossil business as the reading has suggested, the lecturer finds the advantages of this phenomenon weigh out those shortcomings for mainly three reasons.

First of all, the commercial activities on fossils actually offer a better fossil删 exposure to the public rather than a more limited one.（应该是offers the public with a better exporsure?） Encouraged by the commercial profits, more fossils will be digged out and thus available on market. Besides, those low level ordinary fossils will be affordable for all kinds of public schools and small museums with limited budgets. Thus the public will consequently benefit from a wider display of fossils.

What is more, the claim that scientists might lose access to precious fossils does not make sense according to the regular procedure of fossil discovery. Before the fossils could be sold, their values need to be assessed by the experts. Since the scientists are the only group who could tell the value by checking all the details of the fossils first, it is of low possibility that they could miss out any important discoveries. In short, the argument of the reading is not realistically convincing.

Finally, the lecturer mentions that it is better to have more fossils being found by all kinds of private collectors rather than having them undiscovered underground. Although those private collectors may have destroy some evidence due to the reasons in the reading, the discovery event itself already means a contribution to the scientific research. Without the more fossils, there will not be more fossils findings either. Finding the fossil is the basement for any further attempt of fossil research and observation.

INDEPENDENT

With the speeding up of economic development and social patterns, the relationship between individuals changes astoundingly. One major transformation that we cannot afford to neglect but to face directly,删 is the family organization pattern. Gradually and even unconsciously, we have already stepped into a nuclear family era rather than a extended one. However, I consider the extended family is a cherishable pattern we need to save because it is even more important than ever before for the following reasons.

First and foremost, every individual is expected to build a strong sense of belonging as a family member in this modern society. Extended family better serves this purpose than any other family forms. In most of the nuclear families with double work parents (maybe more accurate with "two working parents"), those lonely children could only rely on baby sitters or other public organizations. But in an extended family, the children could be taken care of by their experienced grandparents or other family members, which is much safer and reliable than strangers. Also, within a bigger family, individual could gain better connection between personal world with the society. Different family members teach the children to think in others' standing and children in extened family are more considering than spoiled single children in a nuclear family. (seems not very strong supporting example to the topic sentence... The reason why children could be more connected to the society need further elaboration...after all, the children being taken care of by public organizations are also kind of connection....and the topic is "better sense of belonging"....distraction...====new version: extended family offers better spiritual supports:1.Stronger sense of belonging to a family (spending more time together..) 2.more close connection to a wide range of family members)

----did not realized this overlaps the second paragrahp//////but can be divided for two different parts: the young and the old

What is more, nowadays people's material desire has been greatly satisfied and what they really lack, is the spiritual fulfillments. Definitely, extended family could satisfy this special needs better. For instance, those grandparents are in great need of caring both physically and mentally. It is possible that some communities offers public service for the elderly people, but what they really need is not the water delivered to their hand when thirsty, but a warm family talking when删 after meal or before bed. Blood is always denser/thicker than water.

Last but not lease, the forms of extended family could also evolve due to the society transformation. We got better communication methods with our grandparents and uncles. A variety of media could bridge our space gaps to hold family meetings with all cousins and aunts together. Convenient transportation networks allow the extended family to shift into a more flexible mode rather than a stereotype of large old house holding all the family members together in a hierarchy.

In conclusion, I believe that although the extended families are decreasing faster and faster today, it does not mean it  is not important anymore. Nevertheless, this pattern could help us better fit into this society and ultimately lend a drive to the whole social improvement. (the article should included something about the whole society before I could make such a conclusion..)

jingbeiUID: 3269808

TPO14

INTEGRATED

Although the删 salvage logging might benefit the recovery of a forest in some extent, the lecturer finds it also results in harmful consequences to the long-term developing of the forests in three aspects.

In the first place, the lecturer contends that the salvage logging does not build a right condition for tree growing in the long run.The natural decomposition of the burned trees and the remains could greatly help to enrich the soil and thus benefit the future generation. If all the remains are removed by salvage logging, it might cause a consequence that／make new trees lack certain nutritions they need as the previous generation. In short, the reading's claim of salvage logging advantage is not compelling with a further consideration.

What is more, the increase of insects might not harm the forest at all删. After all, the spruce bark beetles have inhabited in this area for a long time and never caused any major problem. So as a matter of fact, the worry of the reading is not necessary.  Furthermore, the decaying of the dead trees also attracts beneficial birds and insects as well, which could contribute to the forest environment. If the dead trees were removed, the forest might only end up in a worse condition without healthy species living in it.

Last but not least, the lecturer refutes the economic benefits brought by the salvage logging in two parts.  For the usage of remains woods, it costs a lot since producers could only use the helicopters to collect these woods, much expensive than directly growing new trees and collecting new woods directly. Also, for the job opportunity, the lecturer finds it is quite temperate and also limited. Most of the industries prefer outside workers with more experience and training rather than local residents. Therefore, the salvage logging is actually not an ideal choice for the local economy.


INDEPENDENT


The heat of traveling is sweeping around the world and tourism has already became a hot industry benefiting the national and international economy. As a symbol of a higher demand for the life quality, people take traveling as a way to relax, a way to broaden their views. Some people might thus think traveling domestically or abroad are not strictly comparable. After all, these are just choices based on their different financial conditional as well as their own interests. But for my part, I find it is more beneficial for people to travel in our own country than traveling abroad for several reasons.

First of all, traveling around our own country is much more convenient and economic than oversea trips. It usually costs quite a fortune for Chinese to travel abroad on the financial level. Of course you would have to pay higher airline tickets which might double the price for a domestic flight. Also, you would feel pretty stressed when preparing for an oversea trip. You may have to endure the red tapes of getting a visa from the foreign consulates and worry about the communication problem. In the contrary, traveling in our own country could save you from these kind of trouble, at least the visa ones. There are various choices on the transportation cheaper than going by air.删 You also do not have to feel anxiety on communication since people in your country  share the same language. And furthermore, since my country, China, owns such a wide territory, we could never have to worry about limited options on the sites.删

What is more, traveling in our own country could help our citizens get a more comprehensive understanding of our country and satisfy ourselves in a deeper sense than foreign countries.  Traveling abroad might enable us to appreciate the beauty that we could never see in our motherland, but this could hardly arouse our deeper feeling, such as the sense of belonging, the proudness of our country. That is exactly my own experience. The gap between my feelings when I saw the Buckingham Palace and the amazing Forbidden City can never be bridged by anything.  The answer is simple. 删Just because what we see is of strong connection to our life, we could experience deeper emotion than simply admiring.

Last but not least, the increase on domestic traveling industry will definitely benefit every residents in our country. With more people traveling in our country, the tourism industry could gain a better development through professionalization and competition. We could enjoy better tourism service during the trip.Also we can get more additional job in this increasing／rising industry to satisfy the bigger domestic market.

In conclusion, I strongliy recommend  people in my country to have a better and wider look at our own country rather than rushing to those unfamiliar counties abroad.  

jingbeiUID: 3269808

TPO 15

昨天半夜写的 精神不太集中 唉..

INTEGRATED

In order to control the extended population of cane toads in Australia, the reading offers three promising solutions. However, the lecturer claims that none of these approach could be successful but will删 might result in unexpected problems respectively.

First of all, the national fence are/is not likely to stop the spread of toad. According to the reading, the natural fence was successful in stopping rabbits years before and this approach would also work on toads. But when further considered by the lecturer(前后主语不一致)/with a further consideration, she finds it is of low possibility to work/ take effect. The young toads and toad eggs usually live in the rivers, which the national fence could not be built in or across. Thus, these young toads and eggs are likely to escape to the other side of the fence by the flowing water. Consequently, the fence would not be an ideal choice to prevent toads spread as it used to on the rabbits.

What is more, the untrained volunteers might bring in unwanted destroy to the environment rather than easily capturing the toads as the reading suggests. Without professional knowledge, the volunteers might have trouble in distinguishing the toads from Australian native frogs, especially those young frog. These native frogs have already been endangered and could not bear more disaster like human capture. If the volunteers could not tell the difference and took the frogs as toads,  the consequence might be irrevocably devastating.

Finally, the virus could cause serious problem if spreaded to America, the native habitat of cane toad. Although the virus might not harm other reptilian in Australia, the virus certainly harms toads not only in Australia. Since there are always frequent transformations by pet collectors or researches, once the virus reached America, the native toads will be greatly influenced and the local ecosystems will suffer from severe problem as well. In a word, the virus approach is also an untenable choice.

INDEPENDENT

The financial crisis begins to periodically sweep our international markets from the 1930s. These are not merely a regular news on the headline, but also real losses for hundreds of thousands of families and individuals. The endless greed of human beings is widely acknowledged as the bane of these crisis. People start to protest against the riches, blaming those tycoons in the Wall Street. When we calm down a little bit and reflect on ourselves, we might found no one could take the whole responsibility for a bad economy, because everyone counts in forming this free market. We have to realize it is very important to become a financially responsible adult. But how?  As far as I am considered, we need more regulation on both the moral and law. Managing money at a young age is not a reliable solution, and not necessary either.

First and foremost, the time of the children learn to manage money is not a deciding factor on their adult financial behavior. Basically, you could never judge a person by looking back to his childhood. Many great people are not considered to have any talents when they are young and vise versa. These familiar examples such as Einstein tell us that the performance of the children is not a solid base to predict their further behavior. Furthermore, people change greatly especially their attitudes on money. In early ages, most of the children share similar money opinions and behaviors. They prefer to do more housework to earn extra money in order to buy their dreaming toy cars to the lovely dolls. But for the adults, the world is much more complicated than a pure desire for a toy. All kinds of fortune and opportunities are luring they to take a risk or speculate unmorally. Learning to manage money in the childhood maybe just a early practice for those indecent merchants which is always the case.-deleted

What is more, it is not necessary for children to manage money on a young age because this might bring in several shortcomings. Managing money in an early age does not necessarily guarantees a better money attitude. Children might be misled of the importance of money without proper direction. If their parents are not financially responsive person, they might also take money as their first priority and neglect other precious qualities we all cherish-deleted--justice, honesty, loyalty and so on. If so, these children could not grow into a good adult either since they might start to cheat for money at the age of 10 and already feel numb for moral rule without a sense of guilty.

Admittedly, the earlier we started to educate our children about the justice on money and the meaning of responsibility, the more likely that these ideals could be deeply planted/rooted in their mind, thus better shaping their personality. But after all, the financial responsibility is not only influenced by the early year education. Different circumstances and factors together push different people to make distinctive choices.

In a word, the awareness of wise money managing is very important to everyone and has a practical meaning to our present society. However, having our children start to manage money earlier is not a right way out.

jingbeiUID: 3269808

TPO 16

INTEGRATED

There used to be several serious problems faced by(固定搭配应该是be faced with, 但如果把by改成with又有主客倒换的错误？ ) the archaeology research in United Kingdom as the reading has suggested: the lost of valuable artifacts, the inadequate funds, and the limited job offers. However, thanks to the new guidelines issued by the United Kingdom government in 1990, the lecturer finds all the three aspects of limitation could be solved.

First of all, the new guideline requires archaeology examination before any new construction being built in Britain. This examination hold by the builders, experts and the governments will decide whether there is any preservation necessity for the construction site. If it删 there was, then they will choose to preserve the artifacts first by building the new construction around, or to dig foundations much more properly. Thus, the worry for artifacts lose due to construction projects would become unnecessary at all. （慎用虚拟语气，还是都改成一般现在时比较安全）

What is more, a whole new fund resource is offered by the constructor besides the governments. According to the new guideline, the constructor is responsible for all the initial examination fees. If they were to begin any projects, they would have to pay for the examination. This requirement greatly widen the range of archaeology discovery than ever before. As long as there is a desire for new constructions, there is a archaeology research first. （要严肃注意this这些代词的指代是否清晰了）

Finally, the new guideline also creates a plenty of job opportunities for people interested in archaeology. Since every stage of the initial examination needs archaeology professionals, the demand of archaeology experts has be increased to a higher point than ever before. From examination projectors, to the preservation planners, from the archaeological data collectors to the whole project managers, all kinds of archaeology job offers would welcome every related talents to join in this rising industry.


INDEPENDENT

Tourism seems to be the hottest(慎用最高级。。。) rising industry than any other due to the increasing demand for a higher life quality. And then comes the professionalization of all kinds of tourism companies, helping people to manage those trivial problems during the trip, enhancing the efficiency of traveling. （关于这个是不是倒装的问题及其语法合理性..靠语感写作文人已经放弃理解的可能性了）Thanks to these professional tour guides, we save a lot of time spotting the best view, but we may also lost the fun of discovery and exploration from many aspects. As far as I am concerned, the traveling in a group led by a tour guide is definitely not a best choice.

First and foremost, the traveling would become a rush rather than a joy with a tour guide beside. Since you are traveling in a large group, it is the tour guide's responsibility to manage all of the team members. They have to prevent problems such as team members lost or children's safety emergency from poping up. Hence, they have to pay more attention to  the management rather than fully concentrated on introducing the the history of the tourism sites. Also, collective travling is always of low efficiency sincewith everyone wanting to take pictures or buy some suvoniers. However, every tour guide has regulated routes to complete every day. They have no choice but to push the traveling group to hurry up rather than let them enjoy themselves on every site in some circumstance. After all, finishing their guiding job is much more important than the experience/feelings of other travelers. Then maybe we need a little reflection on ourselves: what we really pursue when start a trip? It is all about the enjoy of freedom, an escape of daily pressure. Therefore/If so, why do we need a tour guide that counteraffect our willing?

What is more, the over/excessive commercialization of tour guide often brings bad traveling experience. They might be bribed by some local merchants so that they would lead you to some place that you would never take as a priority. Sometimes, they might lead the tourists to a less beautiful sites because the tourism companies might in order to obtain extra profit from the specific places. Sometimes, the situation gets even worse. The tour guide might lead the tourists to certain local souvenir shop, which claimed to be the most decent shop in the vinicity and sells the best local products. But the truth is/actually, the shop and the tour guide agreed to share their profits gained/derived from these innocent tourists' pockets. Thus, the traveling could be entirely ruined by unpleasant shopping experience or the time wasted on unattractive sites.

Admittedly, the tourism chain does helps us in planning the trip even having more convenient trip. But these shortcomings due to the greedy minds of the merchants, alert us tourists not to make such an unwise choice any more.

In a word, my ideal trip is a free wandering around my dreaming sites with easy time schedule, and of course, with a limited number of friends. No rush, no push. Only being guided by the mood, not a fixed touring routine.

（对since，rather than有过分的偏执：
since：as a result of , as a consequence of , due to....
rather than: instead of, other than.....）

jingbeiUID: 3269808

TPO 17
终于成功检查了一次..可是还很多拼写错误看不出来...

INTEGRATED

Although the claim of the reading seems to make sense about the dangerous condition for birds to some extent at a first glance删, the lecturer finds all of the three are not convincing with a further consideration.

First of all, according to the lecturer, the urban growth actually benefits the birds' population rather than the opposite. As a matter of fact, the development of cities and suburban areas provide birds with larger and better habitats than ever before. Many cities are even being bothered by the increasing number of seagulls and pigeons. Sometimes, hawks and falcons are also available in the city area due to the increasing number of the birds as their prey. Thus, it is quite unconvincing for the reading to argue that human settlements expansion reduce the habitats of birds.

What is more, as a consequence of agricultural developing, the birds could gain better protection instead of suffering from vanishing habitats. The agricultural use of land is increasing at slower speed every year. Also, the development of agricultural activities is not mainly on the land reclaiming as the reading suggests, but on the improvement for crops. Some new type of crop could produce more food out of the same area of land, therefore preserving the wild fields for birds from being taken into agricultural use. /making the further land reclaiming unnecessary for agricultural developing.

Finally, it is true that pesticides lay bad impacts on birds. However, human have already realized this problem and hence made two major improvements. Firstly, human have already invented new less toxic pesticides that will not harm bird. And more noticeably, the scientists have already developed a new crop which is naturally resistant to the pests themselves. Plus the fact that this crop will not harm the birds, these agricultural technique progress ultimately builds a better environment for the birds.

INDEPENDENT


No one would deny the fact that we have already stepped into a commercial era with everything being a type of advertisement. The package of the products, the logos on the billboards, or the slogans broadcasting over the radios, none of which is not luring us to open our purse and buy the products/make a purchase. However, it is always the case that the products are not as that ideal as the advertisements implying.

First and foremost, most advertisements use exaggerations to sell their products by strengthening the advantages of their products, while neglecting the possible problems. This strategy is frequently applied in many luxurious commodities. For instance, the advertisement of those expensive automobiles always emphasizes on the comfort of the leather seat, the power of the engine,  the air conditioner  and the automatical electronic window. However, they would never mention how much gas the car will cost or how prohibitive the repairing fee wil be. By only focusing on the advantages, the advertisements only provide the customers with positive attitude to the products, not the shortcoming.

What is more, most of the advertisements take advantages of consumers' imagination rather than rational thinking.  On one side, the advertisers would combine the stimulus of images and sounds together to produce better imagination for the production. Say, to sell a beach chair, the advertiser may add a beautiful blue sky and a golden beach as the background of the chair in the poster, thus establishing a positive imagination linked to the products. When customers see such a picture, it is of higher possibility for them to favor this chair than the one simply offering an image of the chair itself. Furthermore, the advertisers have already built an illusion for the consumers that, advertisemtns are the symbol of high quality/products with advertisements are of higher quality. Customers might assume that only a powerful company could afford the cost of a good advertisement, and the products of such a strong company must be fantastic.  But in fact, maybe the company put all the budget on the advertising and consequently have no extra money to increase the real quality of the product at all.

Admittedly, it is the real quality of the product that decides the life of a product, not the advertisements. However, the advertisement is the first step to draw customers attention and the first motivation for they to give a try on the product. Without good advertising, those products with high quality could not even gain any share of the market since no customer actually know the brand.

In a word, the advertisements do make their products seem much better than they really are. And this requires us customers to tell the difference between good from bad not by emotion impetus, but a rational mind.

advertisement中间的e太容易漏掉了，advertising就安全好多！
感觉enlarge这个动词好适合用在这篇文章...
结尾感觉很草率，如何才能更好的升华？

jingbeiUID: 3269808

TPO18

INTEGRATED

The urgent situation of Torreya encourages scientists to figure out some possible options,which have been suggested by the reading.However, although these solutions seem to be promising at the first glance, the lecturer finds none of them could be satisfying choice to help Torreya survive in the long run.

In the first place, the reestablishment of Torreya in their original habitat is not possible due to the change of the microclimate.Although Torreya used to survive and thrive in the northern part of Florida, the climate pattern of that area has been greatly influenced by the larger region climate. Either the global warming effects or the draining condition of wetland in Florida has caused the microclimate becoming drier and drier. Thus, it is of low possibility that the original area is suitable for reestablishing the Torreya.

What is more,the lecturer claims that the human assisted migration might cause unpredictable consequences.The lecturer gives the example of Black Locus Tree to illustrate the possible harm and refute the reading's proposal.When people introduced this species into northern part of America, it spread too fast for the native plants to survive.Noticeably,some of the local plants have already been endangered. Hence, the moving of Torreya to a different location could cause similar damage to the local ecosystem and kill native species as well.As a result, the second option is not as reliable as the reading argues.

Last but not least, the preserve center solution also could hardly work since it is not capable to offer an ideal niche for Torreya growing.Torreya grown in the preserve center  cannot resist abundant diseases because the preserve center is not able to offer a enough diverse environment as a natural habitat.Therefore, the long term development of Torreya is not guaranteed with this vulnerability to the tree diseases.

INDEPENDENT

Everyone grows dependently on different situations.It is even fair to argue that no one could grow into an adult without being influenced by other: their parents, teachers and friends.Among all these people,it is widely acknowledged that friends lay great impacts on students. But are friends more influential than teachers? My answer is, definitely yes.

First and foremost, peer relationship is the most influential in shaping a student's personality since they spend most of the time together.Students meet teachers only in the class or during the office hour, but no one could deny that they nearly spend the entire daytime with their friends. From listening to lectures to finishing group discussion, from student union projects to part-time jobs, friends are everywhere but out side students' life. The time promises the deep and wide influence even though the impacts are incremental, unconscious and mutual. I used to take the whole Sunday morning  studying in the library but my friend Elina prefers go hiking.Gradually, I give up half of the studying time to go hiking with her and she promised to do morning reading together with me first. The interaction between us slowly changes both of us. I become more keen on sports while she starts fall in love with reading. That result is never going to happen just with my sports teacher's advice or her professor's suggestion to do more reading.

What is more, young adolescents prefer to assimilate and accommodate with the culture of the same generation rather than their teachers'.Young people are always enthusiastic to have their independent opinions against the teachers or adults.On the contrary, they choose actively absorb the fashion among the peers and constantly produce new ideas. The teachers might could never understand why their students are so obsessed in some video games and usually intended to prohibit such fashions. This kind of action drives the students to become more desirable for freedom and more agreeable with their own culture. My younger brother never hesitate to any new trend among his friends, but his attitudes towards his teachers' advice are never positive at all, even those words are in his best interest. This might finally turn into a  vicious circle of the students' development, or it might be a trigger for better pedagogy approach: to better guide the students needs the teachers become their friends first.

Admittedly,there are hundreds of cases that students are successful educated by their teachers and tutors. However, the impact of their friends are more invisible but more profound.In a word, while the teachers are crucial factors in the uprising of a child, their friends are more deciding variable in molding the child's characteristic.

秋雨荆州UID: 2903781

some comments are just so impressive, i think i should go through it tomorrow
it's really nice~