issue12 请各位点评

bjzhj_2000UID: 144606

Issue 12
"People's attitudes are determined more by their immediate situation or surroundings than by any internal characteristic."

提纲：
1.        开头提出观点，环境确实在某种程度上对人的态度有所影响，但是，有人的态度并不完全受外部环境的影响。
2.        一方面，外部环境对个人的态度有很大的影响。
3.        另一方面，一个人的内在因素也会对人的态度产生相当大的影响。
4.        总体来说，一个人的态度不仅取决于外部因素，而且也取决于内部因素。

Admittedly, people are living in a real world, from birth to death they will always affected by their environments, so it is true that social environment plays an important role in person's attitudes, but I believe that internal characteristic is another reason which can influence person's attitudes as weightily as social environments.

On the one hand, people's attitudes will be strongly influenced by social environments. As is so often pointed out, one knows nothing when he is born, his surrounding environments can shape him easily, even become a beast like "wolf child". In china, there is a classical story, which tells the great thinker of china - MengZi's mother moved their family three times in his childhood. When MengZi was a child, he was very mischievous and preferred to simulate others' activities, in order to make MengZi contact formal education and become a lettered man, his mother decided to move their family to a good environment and produced this story. From the story one can realize that the influence of social environments is so important that it may be brought a great man. For another instance, in university a student's attitude may be influenced by his dormitory, one is assiduous, but the others are indolent, so they will mock the assiduous student is a book worm, and allure him to play with them, if the good student's mind is not strong enough, he would become indolent too. As a result, social environments surely impacts on a person very deeply.

On the other hand, that is not true that a person's attitudes only influenced by this factor. As another factor, people's internal characteristic affects as importantly as social environments. Actually, if one wants to become a great man, he may need a good internal characteristic except for the social environments. If MengZi is an idiot or very stupid, he would never be a great man no matter how hard he works. On the contrary, if one is very clever and can stand any allure from the outside, he can achieve great success no matter how severe social environment is, such as Hawking, although he is disabled under the head, he also acquires great achievement in physical field and respect all over the world.

Without a good social environment, people may follow the social environment and become a mediocre person, who may waste his talent; without a good internal characteristic, people may become a mediocre person too, who may waste a good social environment. In conclusion, both social environment and internal characteristic play an equally important role in people's attitudes.

fortitudesagUID: 139374

Issue 12
"People's attitudes are determined more by their immediate situation or surroundings than by any internal characteristic."

提纲：
1. 开头提出观点，环境确实在某种程度上对人的态度有所影响，但是，有人的态度并不完全受外部环境的影响。
2. 一方面，外部环境对个人的态度有很大的影响。
3. 另一方面，一个人的内在因素也会对人的态度产生相当大的影响。
4. 总体来说，一个人的态度不仅取决于外部因素，而且也取决于内部因素。

Admittedly, people are living in a real world, from birth to death they will always affected by their environments, so it is true that social environment plays an important role in person's attitudes, but I believe that internal characteristic is another reason (factor) which can influence person's attitudes as weightily as social environments.

On the one hand, people's attitudes will be strongly influenced by social environments. As is so often pointed out, one knows nothing when he is born, his surrounding environments can shape him easily, even become a beast like "wolf child". In china, there is a classical story, which tells the(one) great thinker of china - MengZi's mother moved their family three times in his childhood. When MengZi was a child, he was very mischievous and preferred to simulate others' activities, in order to make MengZi contact formal education and become a lettered man, his mother decided to move their family to a good environment and produced this story( so comes this story -----better?). From the story one can realize that the influence of social environments is so important that it may be brought a great man. For another instance, in university a student's attitude may be influenced by his dormitory, one is assiduous, but the others are indolent, so they will mock the assiduous student is( as )   a book worm, and allure him to play with them, if the good student's mind is not strong enough, he would become indolent too. As a result, social environments surely impacts on a person very deeply. ( I think the example of Meng's mother would not lend strong support to you topic sentence, especially for the term "strongly")( indolent might be not proper in this place, ' waste one's time' might be better, do you agree with me?)

On the other hand, that is not true that a person's attitudes (are)only influenced by this factor. As another factor, people's internal characteristic affects as importantly as social environments.(you might change the type of this sentence, which would be better. like that: Not only could the social factor influence personal attitudes, but also people's internal characteristic would play a equally important role in this matter.) ( pay attention to the sentences diversity) Actually, if one wants to become a great man, he may need a good internal characteristic except for the social environments. If MengZi is an idiot or very stupid, he would never be a great man no matter how hard he works. On the contrary, if one is very clever and can stand any allure from the outside, he can achieve great success no matter how severe social environment is, such as Hawking, (I am not clear the mean of this name, could you tranlate it to me?)although he is disabled under the head, he also acquires great achievement in physical field and respect all over the world.

Without a good social environment, people may follow the social environment and become a mediocre(common or average would be better, I have not seen this word used in this way.) person, who may waste his talent; without a good internal characteristic, people may become a mediocre person too, who may waste a good social environment. In conclusion, both social environment and internal characteristic play an equally important role in people's attitudes.

Anyway, it is a perfect writing, developing a position cogently and fraught with examples.
21:57 03-11-29

angeikimUID: 4857

恩，楼主得文章总得来说还可以，三迁得例子不错。。不过要注意一些语法错误还有表达得不同。

还有，如果可以直接说，不用浪费那么多话说得那么拐，比如第二段得开头。。