[argument]新人第一次，求拍。

justusxd1207UID: 3416696

The following is a recommendation from the business manager of Monarch Books.

"Since its opening in Collegeville twenty years ago, Monarch Books has developed a large customer base due to its reader-friendly atmosphere and wide selection of books on all subjects. Last month, Book and Bean, a combination bookstore and coffee shop, announced its intention to open a Collegeville store. Monarch Books should open its own in-store café in the space currently devoted to children's books. Given recent national census data indicating a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten, sales of children's books are likely to decline. By replacing its children's books section with a café, Monarch Books can increase profits and ward off competition from Book and Bean."

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.


  In the recommendation, the business manager of M fails to claim that MB should replace the children's books by in-store cafe. The recommendation cannot convince me on account of several insufficient and irrelevant reasons which are supported the argument.
  First of all, the author emphasizes that Book and Bean will open a C store which is a combination bookstore and coffee shop. However, at the beginning of the recommendation, we could get the information that MB has been C for a long time. BB is a new and unfamiliar bookstore for the citizens of C. What's more, the BB announced they would open a C store, people could not forecast the future of BB. Perhaps, the C's citizens are used to go to the MB because of the reader-friendly atmosphere and wide selection of books. No one can make sure that BB could succeed by the operational idea. Therefore, the two companies do not have a correlation.
  Secondly, the manager holds the view of replacing children's books. It is not enough to strongly support that the percentage of the population under age ten decline in the recently. The percent of children in the general population has declined, but the total number of children may increase. Granted that the number of children who are under the age ten has decreased, any evidences that the sales of children's books will decline are not showed in the recommendation. The author just guesses that these books could sale less without foundation. It is possible that more children's books will sale, because every parent wants their children to get the increasing knowledge in the high-tech society.
  Thirdly, the manager fails to consider the negative effects of cutting out the children’s book section and opening a coffee store. Assuming that coffee store will take the place of children's books, MB could not surely get more profits. MB gets ahead at the C city for the reader-friendly atmosphere and wide selection of books. However, the company was never famous on the coffee. Resulting from readers who don't enjoy coffee could smell the coffee; the in-store coffee will cause loss of profits.
  In sum, any decision aimed at the problem of opening an in-store coffee must be based on sufficient data and meticulous early work. For instance, the business manager should investigate a large quantity of reader if they will like reading with coffee. Common sense and experience tells us that detail decide the success.  (50min 407words)

xiesisiminervaUID: 2997765

去参加我心飞翔互改活动吧~

潇湘锁铃儿UID: 3137221

你写的这个是几号作文呀？

justusxd1207UID: 3416696

xiesisiminerva 发表于 2013-4-1 22:14
去参加我心飞翔互改活动吧~

恩恩，我去看看。

justusxd1207UID: 3416696

潇湘锁铃儿 发表于 2013-4-1 22:47
你写的这个是几号作文呀？

这个号我也忘了。。。总之是绿皮书上的。。。我把题目已经复制上去了呀。
等我回去之后，在把题号写上去。。。

justusxd1207UID: 3416696

潇湘锁铃儿 发表于 2013-4-1 22:47
你写的这个是几号作文呀？

94

淡淡的一份情UID: 3260661

本人亦是菜鸟一枚，碰巧经过，有许些建议供楼主采纳。这篇arguement的论点之前其实存在的递进的关系，如果楼主可以采用递进的写法将他们串联起来，论证的效果无疑更好。 第一段先写national data和 children book之间无必然联系，第二段让步，即使有联系，也不能证明用coffee取代就能profitable，因为m在这一领域不擅长。第三段再指出即使m狠牛，也能做coffee。但large customer base已经是两年前的事，现在不能适用。

justusxd1207UID: 3416696

淡淡的一份情 发表于 2013-4-5 11:04
本人亦是菜鸟一枚，碰巧经过，有许些建议供楼主采纳。这篇arguement的论点之前其实存在的递进的关系，如果楼 ...

谢谢！互相学习！