issue153 （revised by 木耳）

roy87345476UID: 124112

我的第一篇issue（最开始写了300左右，这是改过了些的）
是孙远的issue37  学生是不是对所学的东西要怀疑
谢谢了，我是报的1月20号的作文，还来的急吗？谢谢。该看些啥呢？
The issue of whether students should bring a certain skeptism to whatever they study is a complex and controversial one.different people hold different views due to their respective angles.on the one hand,some people advocate that students should question whatever they are taught instead of accepting it passively .on the other hand,however, probaly adverse it and asert that students should first store enorgh knowledge from school.as far as I am concerned,I hold the opinion of the former one  and my vier will be substantiated by the folloewing discuss .

In the first place ,the important reason why that can be present to develop my position lies that skepting the and studying kniwledge can supplement each other.nowadays students are becoming so lazy or they feel it beyond their ability that they find it difficult to focus themselves on one area of the study，which may be the result of facing such a message-exploding socioty.so how they dealing with their studies is just reading and learning instead of absorbing and assimilaring and that leading to a result that they canot comprehend their studies well and have no ability and courage to skept to question what they have been taughr.thus in my personal opinion studying helps us skepting and so as skepting.only through skepting more can we master firmly.

In addition,there is another reason for me to favor the former statement.the issue is not far to seek:it is the skeptism that makes most of the inventions and the reavealing of natural enigmas knowen to us. To illustrate,a case in point in this respect is that the Galio’s experiment. Suppose that if he did not queation the authority of his time------Aristotle,how dare he climb up to the Pizza tower in front of so many people ridicularing and mocking him and did his experiment about earth gravity .but he did it ,proving that he was right and what’s more showing that authorities were not always right and how essential skeptism was. Our ancestor gives us examples and experience that without the skeptism the world is sure not to advance so that and we canot live a better life as we are sharing presently.

Despite the power of skeptism being that amazing ,it is necessary to add that it is based on our afluernt knowledge ahout it as I mentioned above. So we are quwstion more actute and accuraty.  Otherwise it seems to be to someextent cuude .

All in all,as the backbone of the society in the future,we have the obligation to improve our ability to learn,to creat and to imagine,so we have to be with a mind of skeptism and make a better world.

木耳UID: 123036

第一次看到你的账号.
1 先把所有置定的文章看一下
2 以后发文章要抄题目.发文章要按我们的顺序.

roy87345476UID: 124112

好的
我现在去看了
以前没注意：）

木耳UID: 123036

The issue of whether students should bring a certain skeptism to whatever they study is a complex and controversial one.different people hold different views due to their respective angles.on the one hand,some people advocate that students should question whatever they are taught instead of accepting it passively .on the other hand,however, probaly adverse it and asert(adverse it and asert?看不懂) that students should first store enorgh knowledge from school.as far as I am concerned,I hold the opinion of the former one and my vier(拼写错误) will be substantiated by the folloewing discuss .
On the other hand那句表达的不是很清楚.

虽然我在最开始写作文的时候,也用过孙gg的issue和argument开头模版;但在备考作文后期和现在改作文时期,这样的开头是我必然要批判的.也许是见得太多好的也会变成环的,我现在一看这样的开头就会不舒服.也能够多少体会一点ETS那帮改作文的考官的心情.劝你还是不要用这样的开头.

In the first place ,the important reason why that(that在这里指什么?)can be present to develop my position lies that skepting(拼写错误) the(why “the” here?) and studying kniwledge(拼写错误) can supplement(用词不当.enrich更好) each other.nowadays students are becoming so lazy or they feel it(it在这里指什么?) beyond their ability that they find it difficult to focus themselves on one area of the study，which(指代不清) may be the result of facing such a message-exploding socioty.(这句话写得很主观.你怎么知道so lazy & diffult to focus …?如果这是论点,那一定要给出证明.但你在这里是把它当成了一个前提直接导出了下面的结论!)so how they dealing with their studies is just reading and learning instead of absorbing and assimilaring and that leading to a result that they canot comprehend their studies well and have no ability and courage to skept(拼写错误) to question what they have been taughr(拼写错误).(Faint!!这么长的一个句子还没标点!我都快喘不上气了.and不是想怎么用就怎么用的,退一步讲,就算没有语病,这句话读这舒服吗?你自己再读一下.还有就是又主观了.一切都是在自说自话,没有任何实证.)thus in my personal opinion studying helps us skepting and so as skepting(so as skepting?什么意思?.only through skepting more can we master firmly.

结尾的论点和你的征文的论证有关系吗?就算你前面说的全对,可是从so lazy & diffult to focus 还有ust reading and learning & no ability and courage to skept 能够推出only through skepting more can we master firmly.吗?

In addition,there is another reason for me to favor the former statement(这里最好点明是什么论点).the issue is not far to seek(the issue is not far to seek什么意思?我不太懂):it is the skeptism that makes most of the inventions and the reavealing of natural enigmas knowen to us.(这句话写的又不好尤其是后半句. knowen to us.的意思是我们知道了有这么一个natural enigmas,而不是说知道了它的答案.reavealing 也用的不好 To illustrate(多余,删掉),a case in point in this respect is that the Galio’s experiment. Suppose that if he did not queation(拼写错误) the authority of his time------Aristotle,how dare he climb up to the Pizza tower in front of so many people ridicularing and mocking him and did his experiment about earth gravity .but he did it ,proving that he was right and what’s more(加逗号,it shoued) showing that authorities were not always right and how essential skeptism was. Our ancestor gives us examples and experience that without the skeptism the world is sure not to advance so that(is sure not to advance so that?不通吧?) and we canot live a better life as we are sharing presently.

这一段还算写的比上一段好一些

Despite the power of skeptism being that amazing ,it is necessary to add that it is based on our afluernt knowledge ahout it(指代不清) as I mentioned above. So we are quwstion(拼写错误) more actute and accuraty.(?什么意思,不懂) Otherwise it seems to be to someextent cuude(拼写错误!!) .

All in all,as the backbone of the society in the future,we have the obligation to improve our ability to learn,to creat and to imagine,so we have to be with a mind of skeptism and make a better world.

总的来说写的不是很好.
觉得你的语言基础差了一点.
1 很多的拼写错误(以后发上来之前先用word检查一下)
2 语法错误不少
3 对长句的把握不好,乱用and.

逻辑上也不好
1 首先是没有论据.说话想当然
2 再一个你的每一个分论点表达的都不清楚

其实问题还有好多,先讲这么多.
你要解决的第一个问题就是用你能够把握的语言清楚的表达你的意思,
第二个问题是一定要言之有据,千万不能想当然

第一篇难免差一点,慢慢来会好的.加油啊!

roy87345476UID: 124112

十分感谢木耳兄了
我写的时候只是去注意语言了，想写的长一些。
没注意逻辑
所以才.....
现在知道了
要去好好准备了。
谢谢，很感激！

木耳UID: 123036

一味的长未必就见的好,尤其是当你的语言功底不够的时候.
先用你最熟悉的语言把你想要说的话说清楚.
置顶文章里面有一篇共性问题,好好看看,应该会有些帮助^_^

roy87345476UID: 124112

好的
我现在认真看过了
以前只是过了遍，没静下来看
看了后很受启发，先打好基础了，慢慢来了。
再次谢谢木耳兄了