issue121

wondermakerUID: 143503

48. At various times in the geological past, many species have become extinct as a result of natural, rather than human, processes. Thus, there is no justification for society to make extraordinary efforts, especially at a great cost in money and jobs, to save endangered species.

There is no other time that was quicker than the 20th centaury in developing, while there is also no other hundred years than the past one hundred that had threatened so many species to extinction. We have more cars, ships and planes at the cost of less varieties of running beasts, swimming fishes and flying birds. It is by most of us seen as a serious problem; however, someone contends that “many species have become extinct as a result of natural, rather than human, processes.” Therefore, we have no responsibility in spending money or setting jobs to save these endangered species. Though reasonable the statement seems, it has several fatal errors that show the speaker’s ignorance and his impassiveness to the world’s destiny as well.

It is of course true that many species have become extinct as a result of natural processes. We all know about the dinosaur, the titanic monsters that dominated the earth about one hundred million years ago, had their ending probably in a crash by a little planet hitting the earth, or in the gradual change of the climate. Both two causes of the death of the dinosaur are natural rather than human, since our ancestors hadn’t formed their fluffy figure yet. Moreover, millions of species besides dinosaur have vanished from the earth out of various natural results, complying with the theory that was put forward by Darwin. Does the theory of evolution explain all of the causes of species’ extinction? Since there is no key that could open every door, those who base their comment on Darwin’s theory would soon find they are under question.

If we have a memory good enough to recall the history of the world, we would find that it almost took trillions of years from a species’ formation to its death. By contrast, it costs no more than one hundred years for the modern human in erasing a species totally out of the book of the world. As the same case happened to an extinct species named marsupial wolf in Australia, we have abundant evidence to prove that the human processes have more fatal effects on the extinction of the species. Compared with the gradual and long natural stage of the life of a species, the phase of extinction of some species today is speeded up by human, contradicting the natural law of evolution.


It is human who endanger some species, and thereby we should do something to save them, by setting a specialized fund or establishing more preserved wild areas. Although these actions truly cost a large amount of money and human source, we will feel it worthwhile at the thought of the beautiful picture in which all species live in harmony with each other. We human, instead of being their master and lord, should play the same important role on the stage of world, singing the hymns to the all-powering God.

coolwitsUID: 149150

48. At various times in the geological past, many species have become extinct as a result of natural, rather than human, processes. Thus, there is no justification for society to make extraordinary efforts, especially at a great cost in money and jobs, to save endangered species.

There is no other time that was quicker than the 20th centaury（笔误） in developing, while there is also no other hundred years than the past one hundred that had threatened so many species to extinction.（while 加在前面那个分句比较好，你是强调后面的嘛） We have（get） more cars, ships and planes at the cost of less varieties of running beasts, swimming fishes and flying birds. It is by most of us seen as a serious problem; however, someone contends that “many species have become extinct as a result of natural, rather than human, processes.” Therefore, we have no responsibility in spending money or setting jobs to save these endangered species. Though reasonable the statement seems, it has several fatal errors that show the speaker’s ignorance and his impassiveness to the world’s destiny as well.
粗读了一遍，语言很顺，除了最后说作者ignorance有点偏激

It is of course true that many species have become extinct as a result of natural processes. We all know about the dinosaur, the（a） titanic monsters that dominated the earth about one hundred million years ago, had their ending probably in a crash by a little planet hitting the earth, or in the gradual change of the climate. Both two causes of the death of the dinosaur are natural rather than human, since our ancestors hadn’t formed their fluffy figure yet. Moreover, millions of species besides dinosaur have vanished from the earth out of various natural results, complying with the theory that was put forward by Darwin. Does the theory of evolution explain all of the causes of species’ extinction? Since there is no key that could open every door, those who base their comment on Darwin’s theory would soon find they are under question.
例子不好，那时候人类还没产生，当然不是人类的错，但和人类一点关系也不好
最好举和人类同年代，但是由于自然原因灭绝的例子

If we have a memory good enough to recall the history of the world, we would find that it almost took trillions of years from a species’ formation to its death. By contrast, it costs no more than one hundred years for the modern human in erasing a species totally out of the book of the world（这里改成to do）. As the same case happened to an extinct species named marsupial wolf in Australia, we have abundant evidence to prove that the human processes have more fatal (fatal  不能修饰 extinction)effects on the extinction of the species. Compared with the gradual and long natural stage of the life of a species, the phase of extinction of some species today is speeded up by human, contradicting the natural law of evolution.
这段论证不错

It is human who endanger some （some语气太弱）species, and thereby we should do something to save them, by setting a specialized fund or establishing more preserved wild areas. Although these actions truly cost a large amount of money and human source, we will feel it worthwhile at the thought of the beautiful picture in which all species live in harmony with each other. We human, instead of being their master and lord, should play the same important role on the stage of world, singing the hymns to the all-powering God.
我觉得这段讲的和谐相处，才是该重点论证的地方，你没有展开
语言颇有功底，论证觉的应该分清主次
2点多了，思路都乱调了，这种框架的issue没写过，改得不好，见笑

imongUID: 140258

谢谢coolwits！^_^

To wondermaker
也希望你多多参与这里的讨论，交流拓展思路，给别人的文章提提意见，不要有“怕mislead别人”之类的顾虑，参与和交流会帮助自己提高的，帮助别人也帮助自己。这里从来都是一个互助的平台，助人者人助之，这样的话网友才会愿意关心你的文章的，希望看到你的参与！

wondermakerUID: 143503

谢谢啊！！coolwit的评价很中肯，imong,我会尽自己的一份力的!