Issue15 请多指教！

yslxUID: 151462

对不起，公告看得不仔细，重新贴了
15．The stability of a society depends on how it responds to the extremes of human behavior.

More precisely speaking, response of a society to extreme behaviors can have a great influence to its stability although not the only determinative factor. Before discussing, I must first definite some words in this issue. First, “response” should cover several levels such as: sentiment, attitude, as well as action—measures. And the response of a society can come from both the authority or influential group and the general public. Besides, “stability” must be judged in the long term: a static appearance with latent crisis is not really stable.

I will begin with the relation between stability and extreme behavior. A stable society must be one that develops in balance which means considering all aspects without extremity. By contrast, a turbulent society is often characterized by the prevalence of some extreme behavior: uncontrolled violence, excessive zealotry, terrorism and something like that. Extreme behaviors, if not all, can lead to(be the important cause of) instability. For this reason, the attitude and measures towards extreme behaviors are very essential to keep a society stable.

Secondly, I will concern the relation between prevalence of certain behaviors and the public attitude towards them. The right recognition and attitude toward extreme behavior can promote stability. The threshold for people to take extreme action largely lies in their attitude and value, which in turn can be shaped or strengthened by the outer intentional preachment in addition to culture background. When extreme behaviors such as body bombing, bloody reprisal are advocated and adored or even worshiped as heroism, the reproach in mind will be compensated or eliminated. Such public response will facilitate the dissemination of extreme behaviors in society and thus the threat towards stability and the tragedy results of these behaviors will accumulate and eventually destruct stability. On the other hand, in countries that repulse and reprimand violence, out of consideration of either politics or morality, people will incline to first choose the way of conversation. This kind of public opinion provide a appropriate soil for stability because it give an advantage to the probability to settle conflict more mildly or smoothly and even if there are some oscillations it will be under control.

Whatever the response in attitude is, it must combine with action response to solve the problem of extreme behavior. In spite of above discussing, I must emphasize there’s no fixed model or simple measure that guarantee stability. Neither all peaceful response will bring peace nor must all forcible measures deteriorate the condition. As in the case of international terrorism, condemns extensively stated can limit supports to and cooperation with terrorists. But there must actions. Nowadays, economic measures can be incredible effective in some cases; education is always the most profound and long-term one; meanwhile, army and police is still necessary for a country’s safe and order. In the same time peaceful measure does not equal to indulgence, such appeasement policy as in World War II did not bring peace but incubate a larger disaster.

Last but not least, responses are by no means the only factor determining the stability: the policy of the authority, the economic condition, the conflict among profit groups can also impact the stability of a society.

Summarily, extreme behavior can lead to instability and the spread of the former can be strengthened or weakened by response in public attitude. The form of action responding to extreme behavior must accord to the real condition in order to keep the stability.

imongUID: 140258

写得还不错，虽然有几点上有一定的问题。

第一段把话说得比较明确，在讨论之前下定义，结合你后面的论述展开，看得出来你的逻辑线路还是基础不错的，将来在对issue题目的critical thinking上可能会轻松一些。（当然，这只是从这篇文章得出的初步判断）

第二段的问题在于，整个结构是一个先叙述，然后得到论点。你自己返回去再读两遍，看看你真的在第二段里论证了你最后得出的结论吗？我觉得没有。所以我感觉这一段做得不太好，似乎是该论证的没论证。

后面那个分类展开还是写的有板有眼的，不过你的结构和主线最好整理一下，看起来略微有点费劲。（和你的发帖子格式也有关系，每段之间空一行，看看别人怎么发帖子的。可以点击右下角的编辑来修改自己的帖子。）

倒数第二段其实是一个可以展开得非常深入的论点。我觉得你在这里一笔带过也许不如干脆只字不提好。这一点有待再考虑。其实很多issue题目都是比较复杂，涉及很多方面，如果你能在para 2 3 4那里写得那么好就已经够了。

用词方面一般，不是特别出色。学习一下前人的文章，还有范文。现在论坛上也有好几位用词比较好的网友在写文章，看看他们怎么写的。

不妨把这篇文章重新整理一遍，好好润色，看看效果如何。用词的话我现在没法给你改，时间紧张，看看是不是有其他热心的网友愿意帮忙提出一些具体的意见呢？

也希望你多多参与这里的讨论，交流拓展思路，给别人的文章提提意见，不要有“怕mislead别人”之类的顾虑，参与和交流会帮助自己提高的，帮助别人也帮助自己。我觉得你的思路似乎比较清晰呢，多交流的话可以更快地克服自己的弱点，也帮助了别人。热心积极的网友会优先得到斑竹的关注，而且也是会让其他网友更愿意看你的文章呢。^_^

yslxUID: 151462

谢谢imong的批评。
关于第一段，我只是个铺垫，这样写会不会反而不好？
倒数第二段，是我的大毛病，老觉得角度太多，写不全面。哪方面都不想放弃，搞得自己很累，一篇Issue化好长时间。大家有这种困惑么？
用词也是个问题，不好意思地说我特依赖金山词霸，但它的中英词典不是很好。
我还怕写的罗嗦呢，因为总有人说光看文章不听我解释就会感到不知所云，所以特地努力写得明确些，逻辑简单些。
很想多参与，但上网不多，如果做得不够先请个原谅了。但我会尽可能多来的