練習了一篇..請大家多多指教..

linda71527UID: 151327

Topic 8
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television has destroyed communication among friends and family. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

     Some people agree that television has destroyed communication among friends and family while others disagree. As far as I am concerned, I totally disagree this statement because television does not dominate the lives of most people and moreover it provides the topics of conversation for people.
     First of all, television does not control our whole lives; instead, it is a part of our lives. It is rarer and rarer for people to spend their whole evening watching television without doing anything else. For most people, watching television is one kind of methods to get updated information and to relax the stress stemming from work. Through watching television can people select any channel what they want by a remote controller and just for entertainment and information-aborting after exhausting work in the daytime.
     In addition, television does not devastate communication between people; on the contrary it promotes more opportunities for us to talk with our friends and family and brings us together. For example, there is a piece of hot news reported on television, arising attention of not only our family but also the public. It gives everyone the information needed to discuss it and a subject of talk to voice their points of view. Besides, since programs on television may be written to appeal the largest possible audience, watching them can acquire unfailing delights and share
interests between us.       
     In summary, according to what I have mentioned above, I consider that television has not interrupted communication among people because it does not lead our lives all the time. Furthermore it has a positive and proactive role that it increases chances for us to communicate with our friends and family.

這是用30分鐘寫的..沒改過...請大家看一下...我是不是有哪些地方要加強...要改進..
謝謝各位!!

ㄜ...看到別人的再看自己的覺得我真的寫的很差...

xqmelissaUID: 140370

It is rarer and rarer for people to spend their whole evening watching television without doing anything else.  
rarer and rarer 怎么看的那么别扭啊？有这种说法吗？

xqmelissaUID: 140370

总体而言，就是一篇套用了模版的规规矩矩的文章
不过，存在一些小的语法问题。但是考试时候，语法问题、拼写问题的存在都在所难免，细点心就行，不要犯太大的错误就OK了

建议你最好写3个理由，现在比较流行写5段式的文章
另外，觉得你的开头段可以再饱满一些

不过，总体来说，还可以吧
：）
加油！

linda71527UID: 151327

嗯嗯....soga
之前考試的時候..我都是想什麼寫什麼...
沒有要求自己要用固定型式...
所以也比較沒有條理...大家說的架構不好吧...
後來爬了一些文..看大家都是選一個自己比較習慣的模板來寫
自己看了後..怎麼文章都千篇一律呢...換得是詞和字而已...
這樣到底好不好呢?

迷惘呀~~~~~

謝謝前輩指教!!謝謝您!

xqmelissaUID: 140370

如果你想拿6分呢，建议你别用模版，但是需要你有深厚的英语功底和反复的训练
如果你想保证4-5分呢，可以用模版，好处比如说：可以不用太浪费时间在考场上面考虑如何开头、写主体、结尾；不用着急忙慌的凑字数，等等吧。但是用那种千篇一律的东西，高分比较困难

你自己权衡一下吧
另外，建议你去精华区“备考TOEFL”中看一下TWE的相关经验文章

linda71527UID: 151327

嗯嗯...我懂了...
謝謝您的建議...我再去多爬爬文..看看別的的意見及文章
自己也會再好好練習練習...
非常感謝您的幫忙!!謝謝~~~~~~

presentationUID: 151906

词汇量不大，
重复现象比较严重，高质量语言不多
但摸板的使用比较工整，
最好是能形成自己的风格
多写就是了

ballackxjjUID: 134855

上面两位说得很有理


说一下我个人的看法


要想真正写好作文，一定要多看，不能完全依赖多写。只有看多多背才能丰富自己的表达模式，很多写法才能信手拈来。还是要背一些好文章的。