写了第一篇作文，请大家看看，并给点意见！谢谢！

danahUID: 144289

题目：If you were asked to send one thing representing your country to an international exhibition, what would you choose? Why? Use specific reasons and details to explain your choice.


In China, when asked what people are proud of, they will undoubtedly answer ‘the Great Wall’. It seems that the Great Wall has been viewed as the symbol of the Old China, so it is understandable that when somebody ask the people what they will choose to represent their country in a international exhibition, they will choose the Great Wall without hesitation, and of course this is also exactly my choice.

Why the Great Wall was so impressed in people’s hearts? Why when the above question put forward, people will choose the Great Wall? All of them is due to its great history and the grand sight. And in advance, the Great Wall not only show a long history and an attractive sight, but also represents the great people of China, in other words the Great Wall comes from the great people’s wisdom and their endless diligence.

Thousands of years ago, the Emperor of Empire Qin made the order to build the Great Wall to defend the enemy’s invasion. From that time, most of the strong labors in the Country were required to take part in this magnificent project, and more and more people’s wisdom were contributed to it. Thus, it is not difficult to imagine that a large number of people would sacrifice for the project, because they must work as hard as they could under poor circumstance and they have to work in any bad climate, all of what they do is for their Country’s future and their compatriots’ happy life, and that is why people describe the Great Wall as it is built with people’s flesh and blood!

In nowadays, whenever we stand on the Great Wall to feel it, we always can receive the strong information which the history brings to us. Standing in on point and looking at the great view around, we usually could not stop wondering that our happy life is just from our ancients’ hard work, diligence and great wisdom,

There is a very famous old phrase: He who does not reach the Great Wall is not a true man. When I see that there are always a lot of people from all over the world coming to China, coming to The Great Wall, I think their purpose is not only to demonstrate they are true men but also to show their respect. When I find the admiring eye in their eyes, I am much more proud of my country than any other time.

In a word, if someone wants me to choose one thing to represent my country, the Great Wall will be my choice, because it covers all the meanings of our country, our culture, our history and our people.

zysznUID: 134535

5.0. some mistakes should be eliminated

妖妖UID: 149770

我的一点小意见：1.总觉得语言中有许多中文的味道，很多中国人的思维和句子，特别是许多中文的东西译的看的比较的别扭。可能是近来看英文的东西多的缘故。：P
2.还是有一些小的语法小毛病，看的比较的不舒服。
3.段与段之间的衔接是比较的散的说。

总的来说，还是要多背点东西的才好。第一篇能写成这个样子是非常非常好的拉，我的第一篇绝对比你差多了。

presentationUID: 151906

In China, when asked what people are proud of, they will undoubtedly answer ‘the Great Wall’. It seems that the Great Wall (has been)(is) viewed as the symbol of the Old China, so it is understandable that when somebody ask the people what they will choose to represent their country in a international exhibition, they will choose the Great Wall without hesitation, and of course (this)(it) is also exactly my choice.

Why the Great Wall (was)(is) so impressed in people’s hearts? Why when the above question put forward, people will choose the Great Wall? All of them is due to its great history and the grand sight. (And)(删掉) in advance, the Great Wall not only show(s) a long history and an attractive sight, but also represents the great people of China, in other words the Great Wall comes from the great people’s wisdom and their endless diligence.

Thousands of years ago, the Emperor of Empire Qin made the order to build the Great Wall to (in order to)defend the enemy’s invasion. From that time, most of the strong labors in the Country were required to take part in this magnificent project, and more and more people’s wisdom were contributed to it. Thus, it is not difficult to imagine that a large number of people would sacrifice for the project, because they must work as hard as they could under poor circumstance and they (have)(had) to work in any bad climate, all of what they (do)(did) is for their Country’s future and their compatriots’ happy life, and that is why people describe the Great Wall as it is built with people’s flesh and blood!

In nowadays, whenever (we stand )(standing)on the Great Wall to feel it, we always can receive the strong information which the history brings to us. Standing in on point and looking at the great view around, we usually could not stop wondering that our happy life is just from our ancients’ hard work, diligence and great wisdom,

There is a very (famous old)(old famous) phrase: (He)(one) who does not reach the Great Wall is not a true man. When I see that there are always a lot of people from all over the world coming to China, coming to The Great Wall, I think their purpose is not only to demonstrate they are true men but also to show their (respect)(reverence). When I find the (admiring eye)(admiration) in their eyes, I am much more proud of my country than any other time(before).

In a word, if someone wants me to choose one thing to represent my country, the Great Wall will be my choice, because it covers all the meanings of our country, our culture, our history and our people.

ballackxjjUID: 134855

写得挺不错的


一些语法问题考场上要注意


其实你文章理由段的松散与选材不利有关。你自己想想，长城有什么素材可写？还不如随便编一个汽车城的标志之类的东西，把问题转化到科技类上多好啊。

danahUID: 144289

5555555555555555555555555
感动死了。。。
我会努力的！！

对了，妖妖，我哪里写的像中文？？请指出，好象知道啊！！

妖妖UID: 149770

我说的是，你写作文的感觉是“中文式”的英文，许多人都是这样的，也包括我。

danahUID: 144289

好的，我会继续努力！！