Issue72 拙作请批

rogerathpUID: 144504

"One can best understand the most important characteristics of a society by studying its major cities."

9:55
        For the youth,the cities are attractive to them;for the historians,probably the rural areas will be more attractive. Different people have their different needs in the respective areas due to their interests.

        Generally,the cities will give people more chance to study the contemporary culture of the society. Metropolitans, such as New York,London and Paris, will play a leading role in the fashions - not only in the new ways of living but also in the technological and artistic progress. Let's take New York as an example, the city attracts a lot of international companies to set up their branches or headquaters there and the New York stock exchange also performs as an indicator of the economy status of US which is referenced by all over the world. Clubs at night, performance in the street and even the food in the restaurants are all signs of the society. We can say that, to learn how US is now, we should first see New York.

        Unlike cities, rural areas have more to show for the historians. The tombs, acient tribes which mostly found in the rural areas and even the people living in the country will give a variety of information to us. The Qin dynasty tomb, which was found in the 70's in the west part of China, contributes a lot to the study of the Chinese history. The soldiers made of clay,which existed for more than one thousand years, show what the acient wars were like and how the emperor governed the whole nation at that time. Other acient miracles like pyramid in Egypt and great wall in China all of which are placed in the rural areas human beings hardly arrive are silently telling the story of their society at that time. Only through learning these areas can we better understand what the society was like and the reason why the situation is like now.

        Admittedly,there must be some kind of relationship between the cities and rural areas. They are not dependent from each other. Just like human body has its multiple parts that acts for the different functionalities, the capitals of a nation is located in the large cities but the supply chain for the living materials are established in other areas. With this thinking, we can better understand why in a lot of countries the leaders do not come from the large cities but from the rural areas.

        Conclusively,cities and rural areas both contain the important information of the society.

imongUID: 140258

总体response比较weak，而且结构较松散。

开头，如果说提出rural和city的不同也就罢了，为什么还要冒出来一个historian和youth?!! 这一点非常糟糕，不是说不可以提出，但是提出来之后后面和前面对不上号，又不是说要讨论什么交叉关系，结果与题目相差就远了。

然后是典型的论证weak，描述大于论证。例如，墓在野外，墓年代久远，所以rural area help understand the society. 前后逻辑缺乏coherence. 看看木耳的那个闲聊里面是怎么讲的。

需要加强你的逻辑论证。去习题库学习一下前人的文章，我记得72是有人写过的，自己找一下吧。

也希望你多多参与这里的讨论，交流拓展思路，给别人的文章提提意见，不要有“怕mislead别人”之类的顾虑，参与和交流会帮助自己提高的，帮助别人也帮助自己。一开始的时候难免出各种错误，但是进展往往是很明显的，勤思考勤练习。热心的网友会得到其他网友和斑竹的优先关注哦。