第一次写，issue 1，求指点～

SunkworldUID: 3413082

1. As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.



As technology is developing fast,it is much easier for people to live a satisfactory life,since machines have been pervasive that would help us to do things like laundry,cooking,calculation,and as many people suggest,thinking.From my point of view,however,whether the development of technology would cause the deterioration of our ability of thinking is quite a dependent thing,determined by one's own willing.

It has been a popular saying these days that although technology has make our life much more convenient,it was,at the same time,vitiating our ability of thinking,which would absolutely ruin our life,eventually,ruin the whole prosperity of human's culture.For instance,decades ago when calculator has not been invented,some 90 percent of people was able to do the elementary multiply without scratch,popping out the answer even without a second of hesitation for thought;however,when all the people have a calculator within his hands,maybe a software of one's cellphone,we seems unable even to do those simplest calculation which we have learnt in our primary school.When you go to a supermarket,you will see computers,when your go to a bank,you will see computers,and even when your go to a restaurant,you will see computers.Computer is all around,doing the calculation and other specific functions ,fairly simplifying our work,but at the same time,as machine is more and more potent,we human beings becomes more and more like machines,doing the dull work over and over again.

However,the above-mentioned evidence does not necessarily indicates that the development of technology will definitely do harm to our intelligence.As a matter of fact,our science is advancing faster and faster; if the claim is valid,how could this be possible?Human is discriminated from animals mostly because of its willing,which is so strong that one may assume there's never been such a force as to enfetter our intelligence eternally.It is likely here.While machine is helping us addressing those trivia,we can just rely on it and be a machine ourselves,but we can also choose to focus our attention on more important things,more complex things,thus is science advanced.Although not to be an scientist,we normal persons can also avoid the deterioration of intelligence,as long as we are conscious that machine is working for us,not vice versa.We should be able to use it instead of relying on it,allowing ourself more time for the things we care about.I’m sure it will just work,with our ability not deteriorating but ascending.

To sum up,it depends on oneself whether the development of technology will do harm to one’s thinking abilility.Unless we fully understand the character of machine,deterioration of intelligence is unavoidable,and only under this circumstance will the claim be valid.

zhmaozhUID: 3258996

总体还是很好，考试达到这个水平分数应该就不错了！
不过感觉个别句子不必写的那么长，长短句交错比较好。比如：“Computer is all around, doing the calculation and other specific functions ,fairly simplifying our work, but at the same time, as machine is more and more potent, we human beings becomes more and more like machines, doing the dull work over and over again.”是否可以从but处断句。
有一些小的语法错误，不过不要紧，自己平时写完后在word里改改就可以解决。比如：“which would absolutely ruin our life, eventually, ruin the whole prosperity of human's culture. ”后面那个ruin是否该用ruining，或者在中间加个and。
另外，不知你逗号和句号后是否空格，建议还是空一格。

SunkworldUID: 3413082

zhmaozh 发表于 2013-7-1 20:37
总体还是很好，考试达到这个水平分数应该就不错了！
不过感觉个别句子不必写的那么长，长短句交错比较好。 ...

刚看到...十分感谢～～～
标点的问题我最近才发现:L