issue54 我也来我的第一篇

egg2000UID: 111631

看了很久，我也来我的第一篇。各位多提意见，帮助我成长！

54 'History teaches us only one thing: knowing about the past cannot help people to make important decisions today.'

I do strongly disagree the speaker's claim that history is useless for making important decisions today. Though the nowaday society is increasingly becoming new and complex, I still hold a view that it is necessary to use history as references during making decisions.

Firstly, there are still a lot of things at the present time, which are similar with those in history. Dealing with such things, it is advisable to consult with similar things in history. 2,000 years ago, Loulan, which was located in the desert of Northwest China, was a small, prosperous city on the famous Silk Road. But the city disappeared until 100 years ago when Swedish explorer accidentally discovered the ruins of the ancient city buried in desert. So far, the disappearance of Loulan City is still an enigma so that there are many hypotheses. One of hypotheses says that the reason is the destroyed circumstance. From this example, it is easy to draw a conclusion that the favorable circumstance is one of indispensable conditions to keep social prosperous. Now the circumstance problem is increasingly becoming atrocious. If no nation carry corresponding measures to control the destruction of circumstance, maybe, nations would disappear like Loulan city. So studying history can give us some lessons to avoid taking some mistakes.

Secondly, many entirely new things appear in front of people's eyes for the first time with the evolution of society. Under such situations, history maintains its value to enlighten people to make proper decisions. Consider the policy of two social systems coinstantaneously existing in China. The policy, which Hong Kong still maintains capitalism that is different from the social system in mainland of China in order to keep Hong Kong peaceful and flourishing in transition, is firstly brought forward by one of supreme leader Xiaoping Deng. Retrospecting history, when any social system replaces another social system, it is inevitable to bring about turbulence to cumber the economic and to disturb the peace of social. So for the sake of perseverance the peace and continuous development in economic, China leader deliberately make out the policy that two social systems co-existing in China.   It is not difficult to draw the conclusion that history is worth referring to, even the cases have not emerged before.

To sum up, history can give people a myriad of examples in all facets, so that people can absorb the lessons and experiences to decrease the rate of avoidable mistakes. To some extent, consulting history is the only way to make every proper important decision. Making important decisions does need to consult with history, especially some important decisions.

maverick1113UID: 144099

54 'History teaches us only one thing: knowing about the past cannot help people to make important decisions today.'

I do strongly disagree(with) the speaker's claim that history is useless for making important decisions today. Though the nowaday society is increasingly becoming (可以添加比较级)new(new用的不太好吧) and complex, I still hold a (用the )view that it is necessary to use history as references (不需要复数)during (不用DRUING, 用to make)making decisions.

Firstly, there are still a lot of things at the present time, which are similar with (be similiar to )those in history. Dealing with such things, it is advisable to consult (consult有两种解释,如果是查阅的话应该不用with的,如果是讨论咨询之类的用,这里不用)with similar things (events更好)in history. 2,000 years ago, Loulan, which was located in the desert of Northwest China, was a small, prosperous city  on the famous Silk Road. But the city disappeared until (不用until,until应该带着一个连续动词,而disappear是瞬间动词,)100 years ago when Swedish explorer accidentally discovered the ruins of the ancient city buried in desert. So far, the disappearance of Loulan City is still an enigma so that (so that用的不对啊,这里的意思表达有问题!)there are many hypotheses(可以写成several hyphtheses are expounded to explain this enigma). One of (of 后面记得加the )hypotheses says that the reason is (for)the destroyed circumstance. From this example, it is easy to draw a conclusion that the favorable circumstance is one of indispensable conditions to keep social prosperous(proseperity)(说的有点牵强,环境的破坏导致了楼兰被淹没但并不说明是它繁荣的原因) Now the circumstance problem is increasingly becoming atrocious(这个词用的我喜欢的,嘻嘻). If no nation carry(carries,好象固定用法是take measures吧) corresponding measures to control the destruction of circumstance, maybe(不用加,这个句子你该用虚拟语气)nations would disappear like Loulan city. So studying history can give us some lessons to avoid taking some mistakes.

Secondly, many entirely new things appear in front of people's eyes for the first time with the evolution of society(表达的不太好). Under such situations(circumstances), history maintains its value to enlighten people to make proper decisions. Consider the policy of two social systems coinstantaneously (是不是该用simultaneously)existing in China(可以说一国两制shed light on ~~~~更漂亮的句子). The policy, which Hong Kong still maintains capitalism that is different from the social system in mainland of China in order to keep Hong Kong peaceful and flourishing in transition, is firstly brought forward by one of supreme leader (注意复数)Xiaoping Deng. Retrospecting history, when any social system replaces another social system, it is inevitable to bring about turbulence to cumber the economic(economy) and to disturb the peace of social. So for the sake of perseverance (of) the peace and continuous development in economic(economy), China leader deliberately make out the policy that two social systems co-existing in China. It is not difficult to draw the conclusion that history is worth referring to, even the cases have not emerged before.

To sum up, history can give people a myriad of examples in all facets so that people can absorb the lessons and experiences to decrease the rate of avoidable mistakes. To some extent, consulting history is the only way to make every proper important decision. Making important decisions does need to consult with (去除)history, especially some important decisions.

语句还比较通顺,细处尚须挖掘
文章结构大概是
今天出现和历史相似的事件,历史可以帮助我们
现今的新情况,历史同样可以给予观照
是吧?
觉得还可以加一段,如果我们抛弃历史~~~~~
正反对照吗,嘻嘻

egg2000UID: 111631

多谢楼上的评点！
你是我发表的第一篇文章的第一个指导者，感谢呀！（痛哭流涕状）
:D

tigervUID: 153356

If you want your essay is really strong ,you need to use at least three cases to express your ideas.I think you can add another example to enrich your  writing.Do you agree with me?