托福作文求批改。

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如题。。大恩不言谢！
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Children should only play sports for fun,not in competition or contests.

It is widely accepted that childhood is always the happiest period in our life. In general,we were eager to play sports at that time. Hence,an opinion is given that It is only for fun rather than competition or contests for children to play sports. As for me, this opinion is flawed to some degree.Though competition seems to only appear in adults’ world, children need to learn to compete from childhood.Here are the reasons to support my answer.
At the very beginning,it is universally acknowledged that competition exists everywhere in our society nowadays. It is a good way for children to adapt such a competitive atmosphere before they come into the real society. According to a recent coverage in China Daily,the rate of employment is declining as time goes by. The phenomenon that hundreds of people are competing one job is exist everywhere especially in China.Children can gain more chance to live in a such circumstance if they were taught to compete in their childhood.
Further more, children can profits from competing immensely.It helps them to develop various abilities such as cooperation,thinking,solving problem and so on. For instance,when the children are playing basketballs. In order to win the game,the children have to cooperate with teammates. Communication is an integral part of cooperation. As a result, during the competition,children’s capacities are well improved. It’s salient that competition do good to children.
Nonetheless,we can hardly lose sight of on important fact that playing sports for fun plays an important role in childhood. Children are too young to understand what the true competition means. They are ought to enjoy the sport. That is to say,afflicted with competition in all the childhood,children rarely have fun. It may become a shame when they grow older. But to be honest, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.What the children attain from the competition is obvious.
From what has been discussed previously, a conclusion could be easily drawn that children should play sports for competition and contests instead of  playing only for fun.As far as I am concerned,children can facing various situations with the ability gained form competition in childhood.It is advisable that competition is one of the determinants of surviving in the society when children grow up.