第一篇TWE,请大家批评指正,批的体无完肤也没关系

toeflmmUID: 151798

TOPIC 9: Some people prefer to live in a small town. Others prefer to live in a big city. Which place would you prefer to live in? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

Nowadays, people have rights to choose to live in a small town or in a big city. Some people, of course, prefer to live in a small town. Others, on the contrary, intend to live in a big city. In my point of view, living in a big city is as advantageous as, if not more advantageous than, living in a small town. So why not choose living in a big city.
There are numerous reasons why I choose living in a big city, and I would in here explain a few of the most important ones. The main reason why I choose it is that living in a big city means more opportunities. Take the case of a thing that there are more schools in here than in a small town. In addition, the quality of the school is always better than that of the small town. So, if we live in a big city, we will be able to choose different schools according to our different needs. As a result, after we graduate, we will qualified for a number of jobs and, of course, there are more job opportunities for us.
Another equally significant cause of my choice lies in the convenience added by living in a big city. With the numerous shopping centers, banks, post offices, which all offer good services, big city give us much convenience and thus we save much time. To illustrate this, I will give you a specific fact: last year, I lived in a small town and one day I wanted to mail a letter to my friend. Unfortunately, the post office was so far away that it took me an hour to get there, just to send a letter. What if I lived in a big city? Of course, it made a big difference.
The third, but not the last, goes this way: a big city provide many places such as movie theaters, museums and fitness centers where we can relieve pressure of study and work and, at the same time, enrich our spare time. In modern society, with the increasing fast pace of life and work, people suffer more and more stress. Therefore, when they are off from work, they definitely want to completely relax themselves. At this moment, the movie theater or the museum is the best choice.
Of course, living in a small town also has advantages to some extent, for example, it is quieter than living in a big city.
But if all these factors are considered, we will find out that the advantages of living in a big city outweigh those of living in a small town. So, if we take a careful consideration, it is not difficult to come to the conclusion that living in a big city is a rather wise choice.

发现自己现在的问题就是遣词调句能力不行,其实问题多了
但是没多少时间了
希望大家多提宝贵意见
即使批的体无完肤也无所谓
谢了先!

霹雳猪UID: 134979

In my point of view, living in a big city is as advantageous as, if not more advantageous than, living in a small town. So why not choose living in a big city.

充分论证之后，最后才So why not choose living in a big city.也就自然而然了