issue6 第一次写，等待指教

methylUID: 139015

6. "The most effective way to understand contemporary culture is to analyze the trends of its youth."

Which group of people can best represent contemporary culture? The children, the youth, or other elder groups? Every group do have its own influence which cannot be replaced by other groups, however, as a whole, contemporary culture is a kind of combination which is determined by all the people living in the specified era, rather than by the youth or some other group alone.

Admittedly, the youth play a significant role in forming new cultural trends, for they are energetic and full of vigor and passion, which other groups in society cannot match. New things are more likely to be accepted by them, so do what elder ones think unusual and unreasonable. Moreover, they are fond of showing the behaviors and wearing etc. they fashion in public, and imitating what their classmates or friends do in front of them. For the reasons above, one will not be surprised to find that what the youth interest and fashion in most cases means new cultural trend which will last for a period of time. Pop music, fast food, jeans and internet etc. which have bring dramatic changes to our life and contemporary culture all serve as good cases in point.

Though we could find lots of meaningful things about contemporary culture by analyzing the youth, other groups also have important influences on it, which should not be ignored if one wants to fully understand the culture. The middle-aged and those over 60 years old people have made up the largest population in our society, so what they likes will contribute a lot to the culture. Elder people tend to be more calm and matured as their age go up, and to live their lives in a slower pace compared with younger ones. These features of their life styles influence what elder groups fashion, and to some extent, the whole contemporary culture. For instance, classic music is always popular no matter what time it is, just because it suits the tastes and the styles of matured people. In addition, elder people are more likely to recall the past when they are young, then many films that tell a past story get close focus and highly evaluation due to being successfully cater the desire of the elder people.

In all, contemporary culture can not be seen as a matter that only some of people in the society alone can make the whole things, rather, it has every factor that represent and reflect the taste of some group of people of certain age.

第一次写用了一个小时左右吧，才写了不到400字，很郁闷。。。
发现目前有很多东西想到但表达不出来，而且速度实在无法达到要求。恳请高人指点bow~~~

so猫UID: 148633

我是第一次改别人的作文 不知道改的好不好
改的不好请多多原谅的说~~~~
6. "The most effective way to understand contemporary culture is to analyze the trends of its youth."

Which group of people can best represent contemporary culture? The children, the youth, or （the）other elder groups? Every group do have its own influence which cannot be replaced by other groups, however, as a whole, contemporary culture is a kind of combination which is determined by all the people living in the specified era, rather than by the youth or some other group alone. (我觉得这一段写的很好很简洁 把观点摆的很明确)

Admittedly, the youth play a significant role in forming new cultural trends, for they are energetic and full of vigor and passion, which other groups in society cannot match （这个地方match是不是用错了match a standard才对吧）. New things are more likely to be accepted by them, so do（这里是不是应该用is） what elder ones think unusual and unreasonable. Moreover, they are fond of showing the behaviors and wearing etc.（觉得这个地方的etc用的怪怪的，因为你没有举例子不是吗） they fashion in public, and imitating what their classmates or friends do in front of them. For the reasons above, one will not be surprised to find that what the youth interest and fashion in most cases means new cultural trend（s） which will last for a period of time. Pop music, fast food, jeans and internet etc. which have bring dramatic changes to our life and contemporary culture all serve as good cases in point.（我觉得这样写Things, pop music, fast food, jeans and internet for example, which have …..要好一点）

Though（最好用Although） we could find lots of meaningful things about contemporary culture by analyzing the youth, other groups also have important influences(influence应该这里不可数吧) on it, which should not be ignored if one wants to fully understand the culture. The middle-aged and those over 60 years old（old不要） people have made up the largest population in our（this似乎更加客观） society, so what they likes will contribute a lot to the culture. Elder people tend to be more calm（是calmer吧？） and matured as their age go(es) up, and to live their lives in a slower pace compared with younger ones. These features of their life styles influence what elder groups fashion, and to some extent, the whole contemporary culture. For instance, classic(我不记得是classic还是classical) music is always popular no matter what time it is, just because it suits the tastes and the styles of matured people. In addition, elder people are more likely to recall the past when they are young, then many films that tell a past story get close focus and highly（high） evaluation due to being successfully cater（ing） the desire of the elder people.

In all, contemporary culture can not（cannot连在一起比较好哦） be seen as a matter that only some of people in the society alone can make the whole things, rather, it has every factor that represent(s) and reflect(s) the taste of some group of people of certain age.

楼主的文章放到word里面改都没有大错误的
不过中间只有两段显得单薄了一点点 能不能想办法多加一段呢
比如 如果两者结合起来 对社会有什么好处的说这种~~
字会多一点 文章也会更有力度的说
呵呵 看楼主的名字就知道是同行 大家一起加油~~~

methylUID: 139015

同行...so 亲切的感觉

谢谢！