issue210 多谢大家对我的帮助！我不是学理工科的，逻辑差一些，大家多指正啊！

wondermakerUID: 143503

210． Most people choose a career on the basis of such pragmatic considerations as the needs of the economy, the relative ease of finding a job, and the salary they can expect to make. Hardly anyone is free to choose a career based on his or her natural talents or interest in a particular kind of work.
There are two critical things in the whole of our life: one is to choose an appropriate wife who would not spoil your life, the other is to choose an ideal career, and it’s importance is possibly more greater than your marriage, for you would lose some things after divorce while lose your means for making a living during unemployment. Out of its significance, we always choose a career on the basis of pragmatic considerations at the cost of our youth ideal of becoming “some one” in this fanatic and crazy world. I have to admit such choice is reasonable.

Considering all of us are members of society and must follow its laws and rules in order to survive, one would highly agree with me on the point that no one is totally free, whether in physics or mind, to choose its career under the limitations that society put on us. So many things such as the diploma, the certificate for your intellectual facilities and the appearance has to be considered when we make choose our career, or we would rather say, when the society chooses us. It is usual to hear someone complaining about his job with words full of ire and rare satisfaction, but when asked why he chose to do this job, he would tell you with a sigh, “I am forced to…”

In accepting the part that the society gives us, we make a compromise with the reality. Compared with the laws of the world, we are nothing but little cogs rolls involuntarily but inevitably in a machine. While it seems to be a destined tragedy to most of us, some strive to be who they want to be. Rather than follow the pragmatic way, they use their natural talents with great ambitions to fulfill success in making the careers of their own. Bill Gates for example, dropped out of Harvard University and founded the well-known Microsoft Corp. which becomes a legend in the business world. They are a group of people who break the barriers set by society, being the exclusives to this fixed formula: To obey what you are told to, to receive what you are given. Because of their courage and achievement, they become the icons of us and the lighthouse which indicates the way to the real freedom.

Which one do you prefer to be, a pragmatic follower or an idealistic rebel? That is not a simple choice between employee or employer, either shame or glory. We must remember we are parts of the society and every single thing in this world has its use, we need designer to make the blueprint and we also need workers to do the building. So whatever you are doing, we have no rights to complain for the most valuable gift has been given by the God, our beautiful live with a job.
(480 words)

木耳UID: 123036

210． Most people choose a career on the basis of such pragmatic considerations as the needs of the economy, the relative ease of finding a job, and the salary they can expect to make. Hardly anyone is free to choose a career based on his or her natural talents or interest in a particular kind of work.

There are two critical things in the whole of our life: one is to choose an appropriate wife who would not spoil your life,(wife?where is the husband?这样说未免主观了。第一不是每个人都要娶wife,再有这样的critical things也只是你的一人之辞) the other is to choose an ideal career, and it’s importance is possibly more greater than your marriage, for you would lose some things after divorce while lose your means for making a living during unemployment. Out of its significance, we always choose a career on the basis of pragmatic considerations at the cost of our youth ideal of becoming “some one” in this fanatic and crazy world. I have to admit such choice is reasonable.

后面关于职业的分析很好。其实不用说什么critical things 了，用婚姻和职业对比一下显出职业的现实性和重要性就行了

Considering all of us are members of society and must follow its laws and rules in order to survive, one would highly agree with me on the point that no one is（这里是不是有个not?） totally free, whether in physics or mind, to choose its career under the limitations that society put on us. So many things such as the diploma, the certificate for your intellectual facilities and the appearance has to be considered when we make（删掉） choose our career, or we would rather say, when the society chooses us. It is usual to hear someone complaining about his job with words full of ire and rare satisfaction, but when asked why he chose to do this job, he would tell you with a sigh, “I am forced to…”

这一段讲的是客观的个人的素质和社会的需要对个人选择的限制甚至是强迫。不过好像和题目关系不大。题目更强调的是个人主观方面在职业上的功利选择。

In accepting the part that the society gives us, we make a compromise with the reality. Compared with the laws of the world, we are nothing but little cogs rolls involuntarily but inevitably in a machine.（we are nothing but ...这样说感觉不好） While it seems to be a destined tragedy to most of us（tragedy to most of us？把一种无奈说成是命中注定的悲剧似乎太严重了）, some strive to be who they want to be. Rather than follow the pragmatic way（这里的pragmatic way是值得你前面所讲的？如果是这样，那你对pragmatic way就理解错了。你所讲的那叫involentary way 或者是forced way，相对应的是free way。而题目中无论是pragmatic或者是based on his or her natural talents or interest都是自愿的） , they use their natural talents with great ambitions to fulfill success in making the careers of their own. Bill Gates for example, dropped out of Harvard University and founded the well-known Microsoft Corp. which becomes a legend in the business world. They are a group of people who break the barriers set by society, being the exclusives to this fixed formula: To obey what you are told to, to receive what you are given.（上面对题目理解有问题，那这里的例子也就不对了。走在pragmatic way上的人，也许make a compromise with the reality，但obey what...就不对了） Because of their courage and achievement, they become the icons of us and the lighthouse which indicates the way to the real freedom.

读了这段，发现你对题目的理解错了，或者是写道一半写跑了。题目中所隐含的意思是：发现真正的自己，做自己最适合做的事还是追逐功利，去make money。而你却把他写成了自由与非自由，限制与超越的问题。

在题目中的主体不是没有自由没有思想，像你说的To obey what you are told to, to receive what you are given。他们可以选择，只是选择了money而放弃了自己的天赋所在。

Which one do you prefer to be, a pragmatic follower or an idealistic rebel? That is not a simple choice between employee or employer, either shame or glory. We must remember we are parts of the society and every single thing in this world has its use, we need designer to make the blueprint and we also need workers to do the building. So whatever you are doing, we have no rights to complain for the most valuable gift has been given by the God, our beautiful live with a job.（这种以you做主语的说教似的语言最好还是少出现）

从最后这一段就更能看出你的思路了：a pragmatic follower or an idealistic rebel
pragmatic在这里做实用主义的，功利的讲，而不是腐朽的，保守的。

这种题目属于现象型。想一个思路：
1 判断这种现象是否是现实情况
2 分析原因
3 预测或者说分析这种现象的后果并提出自己的建议

记得以前有过讨论这种题型的贴子，去精华去找一下吧。

wondermakerUID: 143503

多谢指点！感觉是不太对头，可能是赶时间的缘故。