ISSUE153 写了十多天了，感觉没有什么进步，望高人指点

xiaoaierUID: 137074

153"Students should bring a certain skepticism to whatever they study. They should question what they are taught instead of accepting it passively."


The speaker asserts that students should challenge what they are taught rather than accept it passively. While I contend that undue emphasis on skepticism will be harmful to students’ ingestion of knowledge. I agree with the speaker otherwise. In fact, I would go further by contending that skepticism is essential to students’ learning, and that when it comes to the courses of science and art, only by constant questioning can students gain a deep and comprehensive understanding what they are presented by the teachers and the books.

Admittedly, when a student focus all his attention to detect the teachers’ unwittingly negligence or venal errors and grasp every opportunity to attack them, it may do harm rather than good to the student’s study, because such a act of suspecting for suspect’s sake is very likely to result in a hostile relationship between him and his teachers, which is certainly adverse to the student. After all, even the most sociable man can hardly tolerate a ordinate nagging finicky.

While undue emphasis on challenging what they are taught is rarely justifiable in student’s exploration of knowledge, an objective and impartial spirit of skepticism is not only justifiable but also necessary when it comes to the development in human’s civility. In particular, both advancement in science and progress in art depends on people’s constant challenge of authority. In the scientific area, a spirit of skepticism is essential since there is no theory can profess to be truth, to which we can only get nearer but can never reach. As Madeleine L'Engle once said: truth is  eternal; knowledge is changeable; it is disastrous to confuse them. In fact, the path of our rigorous scientific inquiry, by questioning and suspecting constantly, is the access to the door of the truth. Scientific history is replete of such examples that old theories were consigned to oblivion and replaced by new ones . For instance, the theories of a sun-centered solar system, of human’s evolution from other species , of the relativity of time and space all flew in the face of old doctrines, and their emergence have brought us a brand-new word. In the artistic area, a passive acceptance of whatever is presented would have a chilling effect on the students’ learning of art, because it quells creativity, originality, and innovation, all of which are essential in students’ artistic probing. Students must constantly challenge established style and form rather than accept them passively; Only by doing so, can we constantly expect new art to emerge. For instance , abstract expressionism in painting owns much to Motherwell, who by way of redefining painting – the content of painting lies in the gesture of painting, rather than the picture itself –challenged the traditional notion of painting. And Pollok , instead of adhering to conventional painting tool- using brush and easel, dripped his paint on the floor, creating a sort of visceral impact which people have never felt before.
  
To sum up, in general I agree that students should bring a certain skepticism to whatever they learn. Indeed, advance in science and art depends on people’s perpetual challenge of traditional concepts. However, to ensure a net benefit rather than harm, such challenge should be impartial and justifiable.

闲情UID: 111016

The speaker asserts that students should challenge what they are taught rather than accept it passively. While I contend that undue emphasis on skepticism will be harmful to students’ ingestion of knowledge. I agree with the speaker otherwise (这个otherwise用的别扭，改generally比较好). In fact, I would go further by contending that skepticism is essential to students’ learning, and that when it comes to the courses of science and art, only by constant questioning can students gain a deep and comprehensive understanding （少of）what they are presented by the teachers and the books.

Admittedly, when a student focus （应是focuses）all his attention to detect the teachers’ unwittingly negligence or venal errors and grasp（应是grasps） every opportunity to attack them, it may do harm rather than good to the student’s study, because such a（an） act of suspecting for suspect’s sake （“为质疑而质疑”这种说法在这里很难让外国人弄懂，不如for the mere sake of suspecting） is very likely to result in a hostile relationship between him and his teachers, which is certainly adverse to the student. After all, even the most sociable man can hardly tolerate a（应是an） ordinate nagging finicky.

While undue emphasis on challenging what they are taught is rarely justifiable in student’s （前面是they，这里应是students’）exploration of knowledge, an objective and impartial spirit of skepticism is not only justifiable but also necessary when it comes to the development in human’s civility. In particular, both advancement in science and progress in art depends (前面是both，这里不需要加s) on people’s constant challenge of authority. In the scientific area, a spirit of skepticism （skepticism即可，无须前面的词） is essential since there is no theory （少that,否则句子里有两个谓语了）can profess to be truth, to which we can only get nearer but can never reach. As Madeleine L'Engle once said: truth is eternal; knowledge is changeable; it is disastrous to confuse them. In fact, the path of our rigorous scientific inquiry, by questioning and suspecting constantly, is the access to the door of the truth. Scientific history（这个费解，不能直译） is replete of such examples that old theories were consigned to oblivion and replaced by new ones . For instance, the theories of a sun-centered solar system, of human’s evolution from other species, of the relativity of time and space all flew in the face of old doctrines, and their emergence have brought us a brand-new word. （这里宜换一段）In the artistic（此词专指美术、雕刻等艺术，而art才是我们平时说的文化艺术，即人文方面的东西） area, a passive acceptance of whatever is presented would have a chilling effect on the students’ learning of art （of art多余）, because it quells creativity, originality, and innovation, all of which are essential in students’ artistic probing. Students must constantly challenge established style and form rather than accept them passively; Only by doing so, can we（前面一直对students是第三人称的，忽然用we就怪了） constantly expect new art to emerge. For instance , abstract expressionism in painting owns（是owes） much to Motherwell, who by way of （？？）redefining painting – the content of painting lies in the gesture of painting, rather than the picture itself –challenged the traditional notion of painting. And Pollok , instead of adhering to conventional painting tool- using brush and easel, dripped his paint on the floor, creating a sort of visceral impact which people have never felt before.

To sum up, in general I agree that students should bring a certain skepticism to whatever they learn. Indeed, advance in science and art depends on people’s perpetual challenge of traditional concepts. However, to ensure a net benefit rather than harm, such challenge should be impartial and justifiable.

总体写得不错，语言很好，除了有些低级的错误。论理也比较充分。

但是似乎论证地还是浅了一点。关于艺术方面的论证地太少。

其实你可以说一下，无论在哪个方面，已经掌握一些知识的人很容易因此成为权威，为维护自己的地位而打压他并没有发现的真理（如爱迪生对交流电的态度，这样的例子古今中外都很多），这时候就需要其他人以质疑的态度去求知。

还可以写的论点：人们思想中的“路径依赖”、“思维定式”，尤其在一些抽象的学科。这也需要质疑的精神。

感觉用的难词太多了些，全篇都有，比如ordinate nagging finicky，都不是常见的词。这些词你只知道意思，但是并不知道它的搭配、词意深浅，很容易用得不当。所以还是改成平时用的简单词比较好。

你这篇文章，类似的和相关的文章可能有许多前人写过，或者还有范文。你可以搜索一下，对照一下这些文章。 或参照置顶的帖子。


希望你也能多多修改其他朋友的文章。尤其是提点结构上和想法上的建议。因为你不可能每个题目都练过来啊，看别人的题目，自己脑子过一遍,既可以给别人提建议，自己又多了一次训练的机会.为别人服务的人优先得到斑竹的修改哦！

xiaoaierUID: 137074

1.I agree with the speaker otherwise (这个otherwise用的别扭，改generally比较好).
这句话得意思是： 如果不是前面我所做得让步的情况下， 我同意作者的观点。这个表达是我才学到的， 我认为没有问题。（ 孤芳自赏？^_^）
2 Scientific history（这个费解，不能直译） is replete of such examples that old theories were consigned to oblivion and replaced by new ones .
translation: 在科学的发展史上， 有很多像这样旧的理论被遗忘， 并且被新的理论代替的例子。
3但是似乎论证地还是浅了一点。关于艺术方面的论证地太少。
我现在最头痛的就是例子了，有时候想几个小时都想不出一个，郁闷死了！
4感觉用的难词太多了些，全篇都有，比如ordinate nagging finicky，都不是常见的词。这些词你只知道意思，但是并不知道它的搭配、词意深浅，很容易用得不当。所以还是改成平时用的简单词比较好。
这一点也是我该改的， 我想这也是我写得慢得一个原因吧，有时候想一个词就想老半天。
Finally , thank you very much for taking the time to revise my essay.