求大家帮忙看看改改一篇推荐信 欢迎相互讨论 谢谢啦~~

shiloh319UID: 3232400

Recommendation Letter
Dear Sir/Madam：
It is my great pleasure and honor to recommend J, a worthy young lady to your esteemed postgraduate program. I first met her in my advanced mathematics course offering to freshman, she showed huge passion in extreme value of function and comprehension in differentiation theorem during class discussion. To be honest, these contents are really challenging to freshman, but her intelligence in math impress me a lot.
After the first term she came for advice about changing specialty since she felt boring in former major and wanted to turn to economic analysis field, so I suggest her to choose statistics in my department based on her strong enthusiasm and capacity in math. She was excellent student in the statistic and math institute with top achievements in academy and social activities, she informed me of getting the second price in Zhejiang Province Collegiate Advanced Mathematics Contest and third price in Mathematical Contest in Modeling in university，which was distinguished accomplishment for a fledgling in her field.
I have more contact and new understanding of Ms. J when she asked me about the MCM. Found her advantages and potentials in analyzing data and applying economic and financial models, she wanted to step further in these areas. After attending selective course in related fields and enduring preparation, she indeed got considerable prizes in competition. I was amazed to witness her maturity of determination in study plan and career project within these years. So I am not surprised at all when she requested me to recommend her to your program for further promotion in this specialty. I rarely saw such decisiveness and braveness for objectives seeking among her fellows.
In conclusion, I believe Miss J’s outstanding talent in mathematics and statistics analysis, coupled with her warmth and persistence in study planning and goal pursuing, will assure her achievements in her future academic and career pursuits. So I strongly recommend her admission without any reservation.

crazyrobinUID: 2368627

第二段的feel boring你可以换成 active voice， 换成 seek for more challenging course

另外这是你自己写的？你的PS文风和推荐信文风一眼就能看出来啊。
这样adcon很快就能看出来是你自己写的

shiloh319UID: 3232400

crazyrobin 发表于 2013-9-29 23:58
第二段的feel boring你可以换成 active voice， 换成 seek for more challenging course

另外这是你自己 ...

被发现了,.....是自己写的。。。那应该怎么样语气改得客观点？

wang_come_onUID: 2158809

我觉得写的口气有点不自然，比如：“It is my great pleasure and honor to recommend J, a worthy young lady to your esteemed postgraduate program. ”这个就不像是正常人说的话。我建议就写成It is my pleasure to recommend xxx to your program.

然后把文章中的溢美之词去掉吧。美国人写推荐信一般不会夸得这么好。而且看你的信，这个老师跟你的关系也就一般，也不是特别熟悉你工作的人。