issue9,大家提点意见吧

yelinannanUID: 141405

issue9."Academic disciplines have become so specialized in recent years that scholars' ideas reach only a narrow audience. Until scholars can reach a wider audience, their ideas will have little use."

    With the accumulation of our knowledge, the academic disciplines are becoming more and more specialized. In any fields, there are complicated conditions and remain unknowns so many that it is worthwhile for any one to devote all his or her lifetime in one field. Nowadays, no one can ever contribute such great in nearly all the fields as Aristotle, da vinci did in their days. Only in the realm of physics, from which numerous disciplines have separated: material science, optic science, electronics, etc. all have their own series of theories and a definite set of problem-solving skills in practice. Excessive (undue) specialization does decrease the amount of audience but the concept of audience above is too vague to draw a general conclusion. Therefore, a separated discussion is necessary.

    A scholar's proposition can be profitable only after his proposition have been widely spread and generally accepted among scientists. In the first place, any scientific study requires effective collaboration and long time work. No one can accomplish a subject from the original ideas to turning it to practical account. For example, the great scientist Albert Einstein has been regarded as one of the most intelligent persons during the past decades. His famous Relativity Theory, which has played a significant role in today's sciences, was not accepted by the majority of scientist at first. It is until some experiments had been proved the results predicted by the Relativity Theory that most of scientists regarded the theory just as one of the unintelligible imaginations. If we simply assume that no one concern about Einstein's theory and thus no one would design a experiment to testify his theory, the Relativity Theory can never contribute so great in the modern science. In actual fact, the disciplines are so specialized that the theoretical scientists tend to focuses only on the establishment of theory while some experimental scientists on how a theory can turn to practical use. In that case, even the most creative proposition cannot turn to great use unless there are many others helping to develop and to perfect it. Moreover, it would have been a rather long time before the merit of any proposition may manifest. Without enough wide audience, a scholar's idea would be forgotten after quite a period which is necessary to evolve the ideas to be a valuable one. In a word, it is not single people who develop the original ideas to an integrated system, and the wider audience scholars reaches the longer their ideas can live.

   However, it is the other way around if the audience does not mean the scholars or scientists but those common people. In modern society, the fundamental studies are so far from the ordinary mass that industry and science have become two completely different fields. Everyday, people are enjoying the convenience and comfort brought in by industrial products. But is there any one who has concerned about how the products works and what technology or theory it may use? We wash hairs with various shampoos; heat house with the solar energy, but few knows the chemical composition of the shampoo and the concrete principles of the utilization of solar energy. Common people usually do not care the superstructure including sciences. But the common people's ignorance to scholars' ideas does no matter to the ideas' significance, and does not hamper the scholars' study. Maybe the scholars' idea can obtain a wider audience among common people when they benefit from it.

   In conclusion, the scholars had better seek more audience among the scientists in relevant fields in order that his propositions can accept their critics and advice, but attracting more consumers is the task merchants should undertake.

caleUID: 150437

With the accumulation of our knowledge, the academic disciplines are becoming （我觉得用become就行）more and more specialized. In any fields, there are complicated conditions and remain unknowns so many that it is worthwhile for any one to devote all his or her lifetime in one field.（这句话that前面有问题吧？） Nowadays, no one can ever contribute such great（greatly？） in nearly all the fields as Aristotle, da vinci did in their days. Only in the realm of physics, from which numerous disciplines have （been）separated: material science, optic science, electronics, etc. all have their own series of theories and a definite set of problem-solving skills in practice. （这句话可以用定语从句与前面那句穿起来）Excessive (undue) specialization does decrease the amount of audience but the concept of audience above is too vague to draw a general conclusion. Therefore, a separated （separate）discussion is necessary.

A scholar's proposition can be profitable only after his proposition have been widely spread and generally accepted among scientists. In the first place, any scientific study requires effective collaboration and long time work. No one can accomplish a subject from the original ideas to turning it to practical account. For example, the great scientist Albert Einstein has been regarded as one of the most intelligent persons during the past decades. His famous Relativity Theory（principle of relativity）, which has played a significant role in today's sciences, was not accepted by the majority of scientist at first. It is until some experiments had been proved the results predicted by the Relativity Theory that most of scientists regarded the theory just as one of the unintelligible imaginations. If we simply assume that no one concern about Einstein's theory and thus no one would design a experiment to testify his theory, the Relativity Theory can never contribute so great in the modern science. In actual fact(actually or in fact), the disciplines are so specialized that the theoretical scientists tend to focuses only on the establishment of theory while some experimental scientists on how a theory can turn to practical use. In that case, even the most creative proposition cannot turn to great use unless there are many others helping to develop and to（去掉) perfect it. Moreover, it would have been a rather long time before the merit of any proposition may manifest. Without enough wide audience, a scholar's idea would be forgotten after quite a period which is necessary to evolve the ideas to be a valuable one. In a word, it is not single people who develop the original ideas to an integrated system, and the wider audience scholars reaches the longer their ideas can live.
(我我觉得这句话改成the wider audience scholars reaches ,the more perfect and more useful their ideas will be 这种意思的句子更好一些）

However, it is the other way around if the audience does not mean the scholars or scientists but those common people. In modern society, the fundamental studies are so far from the ordinary mass that industry and science have become two completely different fields. Everyday, people are enjoying the convenience and comfort brought in by industrial products. But is there any one who has concerned about how the products works and what technology or theory it may use? We wash hairs with various shampoos; heat house with the solar energy, but few knows the chemical composition of the shampoo and the concrete principles of the utilization of solar energy. Common people usually do not care the superstructure（这个词不是上层建筑的意思吗？） including sciences. But the common people's ignorance to scholars' ideas does no matter to the ideas' significance, and does not hamper the scholars' study. Maybe the scholars' idea can obtain a wider audience among common people when they benefit from it.

In conclusion, the scholars had better seek more audience among the scientists in relevant fields in order that his propositions can accept（receive） their critics and advice, but attracting more consumers is the task merchants should undertake.

我也是个新手，还有四十天考作文，基本上是刚开始复习，也是第一次给别人改文章，说得不对的地方还请见谅，呵。

yelinannanUID: 141405

谢谢你的建议!
都是很中肯的,有几点说一下:

1. be becoming more and more是背的NCE4的句子,不知合不合适,不过本着simple的原则,恐怕还是你说的好些.

2.there are complicated conditions and remain unknowns so many that it is worthwhile for any one to devote all his or her lifetime in one field.这样用so many...that不知对不对.

3.body1我是想分两方面讲的,一方面学者的理论要得到很多人的完善,另一方面要接受时间的检验.最后一句是后者的结语,也就只强调了the longer their ideas can live. 或许这段写得并没表达出我的意思.

4.是想用superstructure表达上层建筑,有什么问题么?

鱼的宝贝UID: 150861

写得很好，我也是刚刚写了这个，你的爱因斯坦的例子我已经收了，呵呵
两个意见
1. 开头段有一点长，背景叙述就足够了，如果还有例子的话，还不如引申到下一段去
2. 第二部分的论点
  只有当科学家的思想被广泛认可以后，才有用
  1) 科学理论需要很多人来完善---爱因斯坦，相对论，在一些实验的结果和相对论相符的时候，人们在开始着手研究
  2) 需要很长时间来检验
看起来，你好象适合我的论点在唱反调，8过没有关系
我认为，就算现在没有很多人认可科学理论的有效性，，也不能说它是没有用的
首先， 科学可以激发人对未知世界的好奇心，正因为如此，科学才会以日新月异的速度发展，从而形成了各种各样的分支
其次，即便某个科学理论现在不被认可，但从长远的看来，它还是有用的（可以举那个女科学家麦克林托克Barbara McClintock的例子，跳跃基因地发现不被认可了几十年，她却因为这个基因获得了诺贝尔奖金。）
再次，某个领域某个理论和另一个领域的理论相结合，可以造福于人类
最后，但是，科学家还是要全方面的发展，才能得到有用的理论。
不知道对不对，还请您继续讨论：）

caleUID: 150437

我觉得，如果像你说得那样一个科学家reaches more audience, 他的理论应该有更多的机会被完善和改进，而被推翻的可能性也越来越大，不一定就是live longer。

yelinannanUID: 141405

cale的质疑简直一针见血:)

我觉得，如果像你说得那样一个科学家reaches more audience, 他的理论应该有更多的机会被完善和改进，而被推翻的可能性也越来越大，不一定就是live longer。

这样写吧:Moreover, it would have been a rather long time before the advantages and disadvantages of the proposition may manifest. Without enough wide audience, scholar's ideas would be forgotten after quite a period which is necessary long to seek out a valuable one. In a word, it is not single people who develop the original ideas to an integrated system, and the wider audience scholars reaches the longer their ideas can be tested.

yelinannanUID: 141405

鱼的宝贝:
我觉得有必要讲讲我的思路,这很重要
1.科学理论的建立需要大批同行的参与-->需要wider audience
2.足够的时间才能检验出学者的的观点中孰优孰劣+一个没有观众的学者所提出的观点不可能受到持久检验-->wider audience是必须的.
我觉得不管怎么写,有一点是关键的,抓住topic的中心:Until scholars can reach a wider audience.
你的首先,不知道是第一段的背景还是已经进入正题,说明了科学不断发展,分支不断涌现的原因; 你的其次,说明暂时不被接受的理论并不一定没有价值; 你的再次,说明交叉学科的意义; 你的最后,说明科学家要全面发展.
你的这几点似乎很散,分别说明一个问题,而没有扣到一点上:Until scholars can reach a wider audience, their ideas will have little use,你对wider audience的态度----对一个学者是关键因素,或没什么关系.

caleUID: 150437

呵呵，过奖过奖。