issue210 选择工作--很长时间没发了，希望大家都来掐

poohUID: 146994

issue210. Most people choose a career on the basis of such pragmatic considerations the needs of the economy, the relative ease of finding a job, and the salary they can expect to make. Hardly anyone is free to choose a career based on his or her natural talents or interest in a particular kind of work.
大多数人选择职业是基于诸如经济需求之类的实用考虑，很少有人根据自己的兴趣特
长来自由的选择工作。

Students just graduated must face a reality, to start a career. If asked what kind of job they are eager to engage in, different people have different opinions. Some are pragmatic and consider a lot about the needs of the economy, the relative ease of finding a job, and the salary they can expect to make.  Some are idealists who choose a career based on their own interest or natural talents in certain realm.  I agree with the speaker that most people will consider pragmatic elements; however, I argue against that even those pragmatic people sometimes do take their interest and talents into consideration, and still a number of people, who are most likely to be successful, pursuit a career that would exerts out their talents or interest.

For most people, practical considerations are considerable factors of seeking a career, because a reality that everyone has to confront is to survive in this world.  But even of these majority, people could be identified further into two categories: those who are satisfied with a comparable comfortable life in economy; and those who would like to pursuit or explore their potential talents or interest but confined by external factors.  As to the first group of people, they never ask too much than an economic satisfaction and relatively brisk life from their career.  Everyday they go to work and go back home at a set time. In their eyes, work equals to a means of earning money to meet the need of mundane life, not a way to explore one's talents or interest.  In another word, work and one's talents or interest are different things. For examples, a assembly-line worker could spend 8 hours repeating the same process, but he thinks it still is okay because the work provides him a satisfied salary to support himself and a family, as well as he could do whatever he likes off work.  Besides this group, the other group could include a considerable number of people who aim to pursuit a career that enable them to develop their talents and interest, but they also have to be realistic, a dilemma most of us face today.   With regards to those people, the idealistic and realistic factors are both important in finding a job, but different people put different weights on them, thus people are seeking a balance of two factors when making a decision.  Consider a person talented in arts has a large family to support. On one hand, he want to start a pursuit in arts which at first could be hard to make money; on the other hand, a newspaper would like to hire him as a journalist with a desirable salary which could meet all the need of his family.  Most likely, he would try to ask for a position related to arts in the newspaper company to seek for a balance. Therefore, when it comes to the majority, they consider pragmatic factors a lot, and some of them are also trying to win a balance between ideal and reality.

However, the most successful are people whose primary goal are for the sake of their talents or interest, and career is only a means to realize their ideal, and even some give up realistic considerations. Because this type of people only focus on their talents or interest, unlike the types above, they are able to transcend the external realistic constrains and pursue their goals with heart and soul.  For instance, Mother Teresa, winner of Nobel Pace Price, who dedicated majority of her life to helping the poorest  in India.  But for her persistent faith of devoting herself to the poor, which she viewed as her greatest interest, she wouldn’t have received the respect throughout the world and won the Nobel Pace Price.  Besides Mother Teresa, a well-known luminary, those idealists also exist in our daily life.  A young people may be against his or her parents who ask him or her to engage in a lucrative work, say, as a Wall Street broker, and choose to bury himself or herself into writing of novels or poetry that he or she is fond of, which could remind a lot of famous writers and poets how they start in this realm.  Obviously, there are really some idealists in this world and they are making great contributions.

To recapitulate my point, most people take pragmatic considerations into account when choosing a career, and they could be further identified into two types: one type regards work is only a means of earning money to meet everyday need, the other takes both pragmatic and realistic factors into account and balances the two.  Admittedly, there are still some idealists who only fix their eyes on their talents or interest, an important premise conduce to their great success.

童心UID: 151202

pooh,注意发贴格式哦，是不是太久没有发忘了啊。:p

wglxhUID: 152604

兄弟不错啊!!开头中however前分号,后逗号这么豪华讲究的用法我已经很久没有见过了,都差不多忘了.注:这种用法实在是太正式标准了,赞!!!!

     这么好的开头,让我忍不住想咬两口,呵呵!

      Students just graduated must face a reality, to start a career.
reality 确实可以做可数名词。但是用在这里恐怕不妥。个人认为如果吧“a reality"换成"the difficluty"并且去掉后面的逗号，似乎会更明确一些。毕竟，在英文中“REALITY”可并不总包含汉语中“面对现实吧“时所体现的无奈。

If asked。。。一点小小的修正，加个BEING？另外这几句甚为别扭，一种比较有文采的做法是
If being asked what kind of job they are eager to engage in, some pragmatic people would consider a lot about the needs of the economy, the relative ease of finding a job, and the salary they can expect to make, while other idealists would choose a career based on their own interest or natural talents in certain realm.（当然WHILE之后的句子可以仔细推敲的和前面结合的更流畅）

however, I argue against that even those pragmatic people sometimes do take their interest and talents into consideration, and still a number of people, who are most likely to be successful, pursuit a career that would exerts out their talents or interest.
意见：
against 去掉。be successful 改为succeed; pursuit是pursue(和我一样的错误？呵呵！）
最后，去掉exert out后面的out,还有 EXERT 作”利用“讲时，恐怕达不到你想要的强烈效果，所以不妨加个修饰词，比如intelligently?

poohUID: 146994

Students just graduated must face a reality, to start a career.
reality 确实可以做可数名词。但是用在这里恐怕不妥。个人认为如果吧“a reality"换成"the difficluty"并且去掉后面的逗号，似乎会更明确一些。毕竟，在英文中“REALITY”可并不总包含汉语中“面对现实吧“时所体现的无奈

不太清楚reality怎么用，但是以前看过得很多阅读似乎也这么用，如果一定要改我想difficulty是不合适的，因为这个词似乎扯远了，根本文观点无关，还容易误导，不如改为：To start a crareer is what almost everyone has to confront. 比较简洁有力。

If asked。。。一点小小的修正，加个BEING？另外这几句甚为别扭，

I am quite sure it is a correct expression.

be successful 改为succeed; pursuit是pursue(和我一样的错误？呵呵！）

:o , 的确是很弱的错误，我后面的时候写对了，前面忘了改faint


谢了 wglxh,  本来以为你要使劲掐我呢，不要手软啊。 ;)

杀青UID: 140733

个人觉得一些人之所以追随自己的理由或者是兴趣，并不是为了所谓的成功。而且现在的一些理想主义者其实很多看起来都是失败者。把最有可能成功者只归入那些理想主义者当中是不是有些太绝对了？文中似乎把理想主义者于成功者划上了等号

偶是菜鸟，说错了，不要见怪啊。。。。。。其实已经写的很好了，真不知道我什么时候也可以。。。。。。

wglxhUID: 152604

向楼主道歉!!有人本来长的不难看,但被所谓的美容师一整就变成了丑八怪.我昨天就是那美容师.而且肯定还是属于那种磕了迷药的.
"being asked"??哈哈！!!火星英语?!!
关于词的用法不能靠感觉,你可以查一下WEBSTER中reality的可数用法,严格来说没用错,但是不妥在拖沓.你改的很好,我没看全文就冒失的动手,该打!!

galaxysongUID: 152834

Students just graduated被动语态？Did you mean "Students who are just graduated"? must face a reality, to start a career. If asked what kind of job they are eager to engage in, different people have different opinions. Some are pragmatic and consider a lot about the needs of the economyAn identical replica of the phrase in the topic. What about "economic needs"?(e.g.,in a bad economic state经济状况不佳), the relative ease of finding a job, and the salary they can expect to make.I strongly advise you to try your best to abbreviate this long sentence, which was just a copy of the topic with little modification. +转折词Some are idealists who choose a career复数吧。 based on their own interest or natural talents in certain realm. I agree with the speaker that most people will consider pragmatic elements; wglxh为什么说“豪华”呢？No model issue adopts this when a full stop fits the meaning.however, I argue against我以为,这是个动作，而非表示立场。 that even those pragmatic people sometimes do take their interest and talents into consideration, and still a number of people, who are most likely to be successful, pursuit a career that would exerts out their talents or interest.

Since you didn't abstract the core meaning behind the words of the speaker, I think you hadn't yet attained a clear comprehension about the issue and its relevant notions when you finished this paragraph.

For most people, practical considerations are considerable factors of seeking a career, because a reality that everyone has to confront is to survive in this world. But even of these majority, people could be identified further into two categories: those who are satisfied with a comparable comfortable life in economy->economically comfortable life; and those who would like to pursuit or explore their potential talents or interest but confined by external factors. As to the first group of people, they never ask too much没有比较级？ than an economic satisfaction and relatively brisk life from their career. Everyday they go to work and go back home at a set time.This sentence contributed little to the reasoning. In their eyes, work equals to a means of earning money to meet the need of mundane life, not a way to explore one's talents or interest. In another word, work and one's talents or interest are different thingsOf course they are different! What did you mean exactly?. For examples, a assembly-line worker could spend 8->eight hours repeating the same process, but he thinks it still is okayFive marks for your essay at best because of this "okay". I don't reckon "okay" is okay in an issue. because the work provides him a satisfied salary to support himself and aNot "his"? family, as well as he could do whatever he likes off work. 另起一行吧！Besides this group, the other group重复！ could include a considerable number of people who aim to pursuit a career that enable them to develop their talents and interest, but they also have to be realistic, a dilemma most of us face today. With regards to those people, the idealistic and realistic factors are both important in finding a job, but different people put different weights on them, thus people are seeking a balance of two factors when making a decision. Consider a person talented in arts has a large family to support. On one hand, he want to start a pursuit in arts which at first could be hard to make money; on the other hand, a newspaper would like to hire him as a journalist with a desirable salary which could meet all the need of his family. Most likely, he would try to ask for a position related to arts in the newspaper company to seek for a balance. Therefore, when it comes to the majority, they consider pragmatic factors a lot, and some of them are also trying to win a balance between ideal and reality.

Too long. You were killing readers and yourself as well. It was your false categorizing that put yourself in such dilemma. Successful idealists are certainly also pragmatic and often choose to yield to some short-term difficulties. Without the balance of idealism and utilitarianism, one can hardly achieve a long-term success. Nevertheless, if one yields too often without clinging to a certain principle, he or she won't be an idealist any more. You tied the two opposing sides together when trying to compare these idealists--or rather, mediocrities?-- with mere pragmatists. This diluted your essay and lead to a extraordinarily long body.

However, the most successful are people whose primary goal are for the sake of their talents or interest, and career is only a means to realize their ideal, and even some give up realistic considerations. Because this type of people only focus on their talents or interest, unlike the types above, they are able to transcend the external realistic constrains and pursue their goals with heart and soul. For instance, Mother Teresa, winner of Nobel PaceA nice joke, isn't it? Price, who dedicated majority of her life to helping the poorest in India. ButThere was nothing before this "but" can be a reverse side to the sentence after it. for her persistent faith of devoting herself to the poor, which she viewed as her greatest interest, she wouldn’t have received the respect throughout the world and won the Nobel Pace Price. Besides Mother Teresa, a well-known luminaryHow rare it is used!, those idealists also exist in our daily life. A young peopleA people? may be against his or her parents who ask him or her to engage in a lucrative work, say,Informal. as a Wall Street broker, and choose to bury himself or herself into writing of novels or poetry->poems that he or she is fond of, which could remind a lot of famous writers and poets how they start in this realm.Too many "he or she"s! Why not just take a young man for example?Try to split the long sentence into two. Obviously, there are really some idealists in this world and they are making great contributions.

You failed to compare a true idealist with a utmost realist. Therefore, as a reader, I still can see what kind of people are idealists, why they are, whether they can succeed, or what decides the outcome of their efforts.

To recapitulateToo rare. my point, most people take pragmatic considerations into account when choosing a career, and they could be further identified into two types: one type regards work is only a means of earning money to meet everyday need, the other takes both pragmatic and realistic factors into account and balances the two. Admittedly, there are still some idealists who only fix their eyes on their talents or interest, an important premise conduce to their great success.
---------------------------------
Although the topic gives no assertion valuing either realists or idealists, the speaker is asking for an attitude toward this phenomenon. You just confirmed the phenomenon without claiming your preference. In this issue, you should have analysized what the phenomenon means to either an individual or the whole society.
The structure of your essay is well organized but there is little reasoning through it.

poohUID: 146994

galaxysong: Thank you a lot .  I appreciate your valuable advice.
I admit this essay is problematic. However, if you wouldn't mind, I will have a few reservations about  some places as below:

I argue against我以为,这是个动作，而非表示立场。

Oh? I do not understand what you mean ' action' .
I think I have pointed out what I am for and aganist.

thingsOf course they are different! What did you mean exactly?.

I mean this kind of people do care about practical factors  and bury themselves in mundane life but seldom consider interests and talents. This category support the claim that " I agree with the speaker that most people will consider pragmatic elements" .

It was your false categorizing that put yourself in such dilemma. Successful idealists are certainly also pragmatic and often choose to yield to some short-term difficulties. Without the balance of idealism and utilitarianism, one can hardly achieve a long-term success. Nevertheless, if one yields too often without clinging to a certain principle, he or she won't be an idealist any more. You tied the two opposing sides together when trying to compare these idealists--or rather, mediocrities?-- with mere pragmatists.

Well, buddy, of course you can have a different view from me ! Remeber, this is an GRE issue that you can take any stand.

ButThere was nothing before this "but" can be a reverse side to the sentence after it

I think you misinterpret it by spliting the expression " but for" , which is used together in the sujunctive sentence and means " 若不是"

Too many "he or she"s! Why not just take a young man for example?Try to split the long sentence into two

Good advice!

Although the topic gives no assertion valuing either realists or idealists, the speaker is asking for an attitude toward this phenomenon. You just confirmed the phenomenon without claiming your preference. In this issue, you should have analysized what the phenomenon means to either an individual or the whole society.

IMO: the speaker presents a phenomenon, and I answer with the true case that refutes part of the claims of the speaker . One should analyze whether the claims of the speaker hold true in the real world and why shoul people be like that but not whether the meaning of individuals' choices to the society, and any analysis on the advantages or disadvantages of people's choices would be a little digressive.

That's all my personal view.
I learn a lot from you. Other places that you pointed out I will make some changes according to your advice.  Many thanks!  It's beneficial for us to have a discusss on an issue, while it is also unavoidable that we have different ideas sometimes. As to whether my essay is off the topic, I 'd like to listen to other's opinions.

papajohnsUID: 127722

我认为楼主的第二段,也就是主体段相当成功,尤其是分为俩类,逻辑明了.
第三段我感觉与杀青差不多.
还有if asked 与argue against 都是正确的用法.呵呵

poohUID: 146994

To 杀青（感觉怪怪的名字，呵呵）
“个人觉得一些人之所以追随自己的理由或者是兴趣，并不是为了所谓的成功。而且现在的一些理想主义者其实很多看起来都是失败者。把最有可能成功者只归入那些理想主义者当中是不是有些太绝对了？文中似乎把理想主义者于成功者划上了等号”

有道理，我会做些修改的，谢谢。
兄弟不要太谦虚了，你说得不错啊。