Issue88 PP3限时提一篇 大家来掐

gdhdannyUID: 125843

Issue88
"Technologies not only influence but actually determine social customs and ethics."

Does technologies not only influence but actually determine social customs and ethics, as the notion cites? On balance, I basically agree that the technological development does have some impact on our daily lives, such as the way people communicate. However, we should not deny the fact that this influence is limited to a certain realm of social customs and ethics, in which requires various aspect to analyze.

Admittedly, modern technologies in telecommunicating development do help provide us alternatives to the traditional customs of social communication. With the help of internet, friends living separately thousands of miles away now have the possibility to chat on line instantaneously other than waiting for weeks to get greetings from other part of the world. In an official report about new things in traditional Chinese festivals, it is said people in Beijing alone sent an overall number of 150 million instant messages by their cell phones during the 7-day spring break, which means each of the total 15 million populations sent an average of 10 messages to their friends. Without any bothering, this burgeoning industry of instant messages provides people with a brand new way to send their best regards to friends and relatives. The result of the report also indicates the acceptance among people as to this new technological development.

However, when it comes to social disciplines in the moral aspect, technologies always have little, if any, positive capability to influence, not to mention determine the way people think. The social customs and beliefs in human being itself are always difficult to alter. One should look no more than people's attitudes toward the genetic engineering. Even though successful incidences of cloning animals such as sheep and cows have already proved the credibility of this technology, most people, including those opponents in the scientific community as well, argue against the plan to clone human beings. They just believe it is not a matter of the feasibility of carrying a scientific approach, but rather a challenge of the morality in traditional social disciplines. A 'master race' of humans may be produced by reorganizing the map human genes, the result of which could not be predicted by any one on earth. In this aspect, it is the social criteria in ethics that determines the development of technologies rather than the reverse relationship.

In addition, technologies have not and cannot determine people's religious beliefs, no matter how advanced the technologies have developed. Even though great improvement has been seen in technologies, people's religious beliefs in mind could hardly been affected by the technology. As we can see from our daily lives, most of the Christians still chose to go to church every week, even though there are millions of websites on line acting as the same purpose of going church. Simply put, people's long time beliefs have such a solid foundation in mind, which is established with experiences and determined by imperceptible factors. Therefore technologies could hardly do anything to them.

In sum, even though we have seen great changes brought about by technological improvement in social customs, such as people's preferred way of communication, there still exists many other realms of the society which the technologies still have a long way to go before influencing or determining them.
540 words
45 mins
紧赶慢赶的，看着那个表就紧张。

sydUID: 151948

Issue88
"Technologies not only influence but actually determine social customs and ethics."

Does technologies not only influence but actually determine social customs and ethics, as the notion cites? On balance, I basically agree that the technological development does have some impact on our daily lives, such as the way people communicate.[这里感觉THE WAY 有歧义，是说话的方式，还是说话的手段？从后文看是通讯的手段，应该指明之] However, we should not deny the fact that this influence is limited to a certain realm of social customs and ethics, in which requires various aspect to analyze.[ which requires analyzation in various aspects before drawing a conclution hastely]

Admittedly, modern technologies in telecommunicating development do help provide us alternatives to the traditional customs of social communication. With the help of internet, friends living separately thousands of miles away now have the possibility to chat on line instantaneously other than waiting for weeks to get greetings from other part of the world. In an official report about new things in traditional Chinese festivals, it is said people in Beijing alone sent an overall number of 150 million instant messages by their cell phones during the 7-day spring break, which means each of the total 15 million populations sent an average of 10 messages to their friends. Without any bothering, this burgeoning industry of instant messages provides people with a brand new way to send their best regards to friends and relatives. The result of the report also indicates the acceptance among people as to this new technological development.[这一段字词上没有什么问题，但是觉得最后应该再往论点上扯一点，比如加句：THE MODERN TECHNOLOGY HAS MADE ITS INFLUENCE ON SOCIAL CUSTOMS BY ITS ADVANTAGE TO BRING POEPLE CONVENIENCES。]

However, when it comes to social disciplines in the moral aspect, technologies always have little, if any, positive [非要局限与正面影响吗，你有局限与某一方面 思考的习惯哦]capability to influence, not to mention [？]determine the way people think. The social customs and beliefs in human being itself are always difficult to alter. One should look no more than people's attitudes toward the genetic engineering. 加一句，[AS TO THE ETHIC ASPECT。。。]Even though successful incidences of cloning animals such as sheep and cows have already proved the credibility of this technology, most people, including those opponents in the scientific community as well, argue against the plan to clone human beings. They just believe it is not a matter of the feasibility of carrying a scientific approach, but rather a challenge of the morality in traditional social disciplines. A 'master race' of humans may be produced by reorganizing the map human genes, the result of which could not be predicted by any one on earth. In this aspect, it is the social criteria in ethics that determines the development of technologies rather than the reverse relationship.感觉可以说的再狠一些，最好说 技术无法逾越 道德的 屏障，比如全球性的 禁止克脓。

In addition, technologies have not and cannot determine people's religious beliefs, no matter how advanced the technologies have developed. Even though great improvement has been seen in technologies, people's religious beliefs in mind could hardly been affected by the technology. As we can see from our daily lives, most of the Christians still chose to go to church every week, even though there are millions of websites on line acting as the same purpose of going church. Simply put, people's long time beliefs have such a solid foundation in mind, which is established with experiences and determined by imperceptible factors. Therefore technologies could hardly do anything to them.[INSIGHTFUL] :)

In sum, even though we have seen great changes brought about by technological improvement in social customs, such as people's preferred way of communication, there still exists many other realms of the society which the technologies still have a long way to go before influencing or determining them.
这样结尾有问题啊，HAVE A LONG WAY TO GO 不等于 不可能决定啊，弱化了 你的立场。
540字，我自卑了，学CS的打字就是 快啊。。。 :mad:

gdhdannyUID: 125843

1.However, when it comes to social disciplines in the moral aspect, technologies always [B]have little[/B],  if any, positive capability to [B]influence[/B] , not to mention [B]determine[/B]  the way people think.

这句话写的时候就觉得有问题，positive是想说主动的。因为后面是讲在伦理道德上，通常是科技的发展被限制，也就是说科技是被动的，想了半天在一看表，就不知道用那个词表示“主动的”了。
not to mention是想说，既然连主动作用都谈不上，更不用说决定作用了。

2.最后一段的have a long way to go的弱化主体作用你不说真没注意到，其实还是一个“言之有理”的问题。前面并没说解决方案，这里不能这么讲，有道理的说！ :cool:

FantasizingUID: 142282

Does technologies not only influence but actually determine social customs and ethics, as the notion cites?这句话总觉得如果说：Is the citation of the notion true that technologies...比较通顺一点，不过用cite这个词似乎不合适的说

gdhdannyUID: 125843

cite: 1.to summon or appear before a court; 2.to refer to esp. in coomendation or praise

请教为什么不合适？
最好应该用什么？
谢谢

coniUID: 137677

Issue88
"Technologies not only influence but actually determine social customs and ethics."

Does technologies not only influence but actually determine social customs and ethics, as the notion cites? On balance, I basically agree that the technological development does have some impact on our daily lives, such as the way people communicate. However, we should not deny the fact that this influence is limited to a certain realm of social customs and ethics, in which requires various aspect to analyze.

Admittedly, modern technologies in telecommunicating development do help provide us alternatives to the traditional customs of social communication. With the help of internet, friends living separately thousands of miles away now have the possibility to chat on line instantaneously other than waiting for weeks to get greetings from other part of the world. In an official report about new things in traditional Chinese festivals, it is said people in Beijing alone sent an overall number of 150 million instant messages by their cell phones during the 7-day spring break, which means each of the total 15 million populations sent an average of 10 messages to their friends.(你还挺偏爱这个例子的吗！) Without any bothering, this burgeoning industry of instant messages provides people with a brand new way to send their best regards to friends and relatives. The result of the report also indicates the acceptance among people as to this new technological development.

However, when it comes to social disciplines in the moral aspect, technologies always have little, if any, positive capability to influence, not to mention determine the way people think. The social customs and beliefs in human being itself are always difficult to alter. One should look no more than people's attitudes toward the genetic engineering. Even though successful incidences of cloning animals such as sheep and cows have already proved the credibility of this technology, most people, including those opponents in the scientific community as well, argue against the plan to clone human beings. They just believe it is not a matter of the feasibility of carrying a scientific approach, but rather a challenge of the morality in traditional social disciplines. A 'master race' of humans may be produced by reorganizing the map (of) human genes, the result of which could not be predicted by any one on earth. In this aspect, it is the social criteria in ethics that determines the development of technologies rather than the reverse relationship.

In addition, technologies have not and cannot determine people's religious beliefs, no matter how advanced the technologies have developed. Even though great improvement has been seen in technologies, people's religious beliefs in mind could hardly been affected by the technology. As we can see from our daily lives, most of the Christians still chose to go to church every week, even though there are millions of websites on line acting as the same purpose of going church. Simply put, people's long time beliefs have such a solid foundation in mind, which is established with experiences and determined by imperceptible factors. Therefore technologies could hardly do anything to them.

In sum, even though we have seen great changes brought about by technological improvement in social customs, such as people's preferred way of communication, there still exists many other realms of the society which the technologies still have a long way to go before influencing or determining them.

从我自己的水平来看，真的，又是限时写的，已经非常非常不错了，有点范文的感觉了，但是你的思路和我的思路还是有一些不一样，你看看我说的是不是有道理。

首先题目的意思是说“科技是否影响并进一步决定了社会传统和道德观念。”我的理解是出题者让我们辨析的是“科技对社会传统和道德观念的作用程度。”当然，他提出有2种作用程度，一种是“影响”（自然是比较轻的），一种是“决定”（当然是重的）。既然是对比作用的程度，那么必须把对比建立在同一个作用对象上才上“可比的”。就好比说让你辨析“好老师对学生学习习惯的作用程度是影响还是决定”，你要对同一群学生进行分析，首先让他们没有好老师，看看他们的习惯，然后在换一个好老师，再看看他们的习惯，对吧？而不能用两个群体来对比（一个有好老师，一个没有），就像ARGUMENT一样。对于你的论述就有问题，因为你分别在说科技影响和决定的时候用了两个不同的作用对象，一个是在“交流”领域，另一个是在“宗教”领域。你说在“交流”领域影响了，在“宗教”领域连影响都没有就更别说决定了，但是有一个问题是，我完全可以问你：在交流领域科技“决定”了吗？你并没有说在交流领域“科技没有决定吧！”而且你的“发短信的数据”到更使我有理由相信在交流领域有“决定”的嫌疑。所以我认为对这道题来讲，最有说服力的论证是对同一个对象进行论述，首先说科技影响了它，而后在进一步说并没有决定它。比如对“交流”来说，你可以先说科技为人们提供了另外一种方式（这是论证影响了，你的关键问题是后面就没有说是否决定了，于是就可以让人们认为“决定”了，原因就出在在这个“交流”领域，你没有进行题目本身让你进行的“程度”类比），然后在说，虽然为人们提供了这样一种方式，但是还是有许多人在春节时回家，和家人团员（比如，春运人多之类的证据），有了对同一个事件的“程度”对比，就可以清楚地让人明白科技的确是“影响了”但还没有“决定”。

gdhdannyUID: 125843

我觉得你说得很深刻，很有道理。

但是看看题目宾语是social custom[B]s[/B]  and ethic[B]s[/B]
为什么要用复数呢？

如果真的要对同一个对象既讨论influence又讨论determine我觉得是不会有结果的。

对于我的论证，论点中并没有否定determine而是强调了局限性，说白了就是要具体情况具体分析。

你觉得呢？

imongUID: 140258

Issue88
"Technologies not only influence but actually determine social customs and ethics."

Does technologies not only influence but actually determine social customs and ethics, as the notion cites?not only but also恐怕不可以这样子用在问句里，我不是太肯定，自己查一下。 On balance, I basicallyon balance和basically两个一起怎么感觉怪怪的？ agree that the冠词多余 technological development does have some impact on our daily lives, such as这里的连接恐怕有点问题，看看前后对应关系？我是凭感觉的。如果前面是certain aspect后面such as应该没问题，问题是现在前面是some impact. the way people communicate. However, we should not deny the fact that this influence is limited to a certain realm of没看懂 social customs and ethics, in which requires various aspect to analyze.整句话没看明白，尤其是limited to a certain realm of

Admittedly, modern technologies in telecommunicating development development in tele.. / technology in tele..,这里好像是重复了 do help provide us alternatives to the traditional customs of social social? communication. With the help of internet, friends living separately thousands of miles away又是重复，而且两个都不精确。apart from each other? now have the possibility to chat on line online中间不用空格 instantaneously other than other than用得不好，这里应该不是这个词waiting for weeks to get greetings from other part of the world. 这里写个for example或者什么具体example之类的？如果前后语意类似而字面基本不重复的话，加个连接词。 In an official report about new things in traditional Chinese festivals, it is said people in Beijing alone sent时态？ an overall number有number吗？ of 150 million instant messages by their cell phones during the 7-day spring break, which means each of the total 15 million populations sent an average of 10 messages to their friends. Without any bothering什么意思？, this burgeoning industry of instant messages provides people with a brand new way to send their best regards to friends and relatives. The result of the report also indicates the acceptance among people as to as to？ this new technological development.觉得整段话如果能在词汇上和含义上多体现一些和customs的相关性会更好。

However, when it comes to social disciplines in the moral aspect, technologies always have little, if any, positive ？ capability to influence, not to mention determine the way people think.what people think和custom/ethics的关系？ The social customs and beliefs in 这个介词很不爽，就算后面是itself，去掉itself变of？ human being itself are always difficult to alter. One should look no more than people's attitudes toward the genetic engineering. Even though successful incidences of cloning 又是废词，successful cloning of animals就行了  animals such as sheep and cows have already proved the credibility 这个词..？ of this technology, most people, including those opponents in the scientific community as well, argue against the plan to clone human beings. They just believe it is not a matter of the feasibility of carrying a scientific approach, but rather a challenge of the morality in traditional social disciplines. A 'master race' of humans may be produced by reorganizing the map human genes, the result of which could not be predicted by any one on earth. In this aspect, it is the social criteria in ethics that determines the development of technologies rather than the reverse relationship.

In addition, technologies have not and cannot determine people's religious beliefs, no matter how advanced the technologies have developed. Even though great improvement has been seen in technologies, people's religious beliefs in mind in mind仍然多余 could hardly been affected by the冠词多余 technology. As we can see from our daily lives 表达累赘，应该可以往下省东西, most of the Christians still chose to go to church every week, even though there are millions of websites on line acting as perform？function？考虑用词，还有后面的purpose也一样 the same purpose of going church. Simply put, people's long time beliefs have such a such完了后面的that在哪里？ solid foundation in mind, which is established with with？ experiences and determined by imperceptible factors. Therefore technologies could hardly do anything to them. TS是cannot change religious belief，可是例子变成了cannot change alter the way they engage in religious activities，完全对不上号。

In sum, even though we have seen great changes brought about by technological improvement in social customs, such as people's preferred way of communication, there still exists many other realms of the society which the technologies still have a long way to go before influencing or determining them.
540 words
45 mins

好久没有改得这么爽了，嘻嘻……看来作文版最近流行写88啊，尤其是几位领军人物引领风尚的说~ 估计很快可以成为经典（传统？）了？~~ :D

论点方面我觉得没有galaxy那个版本清楚。考虑一下？

galaxysongUID: 152834

我的所有版本的时间都超长，不提也罢。

coniUID: 137677

你说的也有道理，不过我觉得按我的思路写也不会是“没有结果”。也可能是我想的太多了。

gdhdannyUID: 125843

真是FT!
一限时出这么多语言问题+逻辑问题
下次改改在往上交

p.s.那个positive改成initiative怎么样？