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[优秀习作] issue68 第一篇限时,没有改动,感觉不好,请大家指正! [复制链接]

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发表于 2004-2-16 12:23:07 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
issue68
"People make the mistake of treating experts with suspicion and mistrust, no matter how valuable their contributions might be."不管专家们的贡献有多大,人们总是错误地怀疑他们,不信任他们
    What attitude should we hold towards experts, totally advocate or suspiciously mistrust? I think too much on either side can cause some problems. The theories and principles established by the experts in every fields should be treated properly, because they are the outcome of professional scholars' efforts that should be valued, while they may still have some limitations and errors.

    It is necessary for us to suspect about the authorities that have been established by experts, in that only if old and flawed authority is repudiated can new and advanced one be established. Copernicus' heliocentric theory in the 16th century was a direct attack to the universally accepted one -- geocentric system which was advocated by Aristotle. Although the old theory was so stubborn in people's mind that Copernicus encountered serious adverse on the way to the new principle, he persisted and did not give up. His theory was a breakthrough in human's knowledge about the cosmic, however it was questioned and denounced again by Galileo, who claimed that the sun is only the center of solar system, rather than the center of the whole cosmic. After accumulative observations and experiments, people gradually realized that Galileo 's theory was advanced and correct one. We can see from the development of a series theories that, suspicious attitude towards experts and authorities enable us to find out the drawbacks and blunders of them in order to develop fresh and advanced ones.

    Besides, it is an effective way to perfect and enrich the authorities by questioning experts' opinions and theories. With the development of the societies, some authorities about technologies and science have to be adjusted and supplemented. For example, the results of certain scientific experiments could be much more exact and acute if high-technical methods and equipments are used. Also, it is quite necessary to supplement or adjust the historical sources and records if some invaluable artifacts are unearthed. The former comprehension about the period of history which the artifacts belong to may have to change.

    However, undue suspicions and mistrusts towards experts and their opinions are harmful to our research as well as our society. There is no denying that many theories and authorities have been tested and warranted by thousands of experiments and numerous experts. These theories are the foundation and effective tools of further research and exploration. Had we mistrust everything that is useful and worth trusting, we may be bogged down in confusion and may not be able to gain any achievement.

    In sum, we should hold an fairy and objective attitude towards the experts and their authorities. Reasonable suspicions and questions are necessary to supplement and correct old theories, while undue mistrusts towards them are detrimental to further development.
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沙发
发表于 2004-2-16 13:13:06 |只看该作者
What attitude should we hold towards experts, totally advocate or suspiciously mistrust? (感觉有点不舒服的说,哪位大牛可以看看到底有没有毛病,另外我觉得应该是which attitude)I think too much on either side can cause some problems.(又觉得是一个破句) The theories and principles established by the experts in every fields should be treated properly, because they are the outcome of professional scholars' efforts that should be valued, while they may still have some limitations and errors.

It is necessary for us to suspect about (不要about吧)the authorities that have been established by experts, in that only if old and flawed authority is repudiated can new and advanced one be established. Copernicus' heliocentric theory in the 16th century was a direct attack to the universally accepted one -- geocentric system which was advocated by Aristotle. Although the old theory was so stubborn in people's mind that Copernicus encountered serious adverse (可以做名词吗?)on the way to the new principle, he persisted and did not give up. His theory was a breakthrough in human's knowledge about the cosmic, however it was questioned and denounced again by Galileo, who claimed that the sun is only the center of solar system, rather than the center of the whole cosmic. After accumulative observations and experiments, people gradually realized that Galileo 's theory was advanced and correct one. We can see from the development of a series theories that, (好像有问题,应该是what we can see from xxx is that ....)suspicious attitude towards experts and authorities enable us to find out the drawbacks and blunders of them in order to develop fresh and advanced ones.(觉得有点头晕,你到底想说老伽怀疑老哥,还是老哥怀疑老亚还是想指出一种趋势?另外这个necessary我觉得还是没说清楚)

Besides, it is an effective way to perfect and enrich the authorities by questioning experts' opinions and theories. With the development of the societies, some authorities about technologies and science have to be adjusted and supplemented. For example, the results of certain scientific experiments could be much more exact and acute if high-technical methods and equipments are used. Also, it is quite necessary to supplement or adjust the historical sources and records if some invaluable artifacts are unearthed. The former comprehension about the period of history which the artifacts belong to may have to change.(试验结果,历史认知不能等同于权威,由偷换概念之嫌呃)另外说一下为什么权威需要完善我觉得更充实。

However, undue suspicions and mistrusts towards experts and their opinions are harmful to our research as well as(to) our society. There is no denying that many theories and authorities have been tested and warranted by thousands of experiments and numerous experts. These theories are the foundation and effective tools of further research and exploration. Had we mistrust everything that is useful and worth trusting, we may be bogged down in confusion and may not be able to gain any achievement.
这段觉得还行。不过你既然说了研究和社会两大情况,最好还是分开写明
In sum, we should hold an fairy and objective attitude towards the experts and their authorities. Reasonable suspicions and questions are necessary to supplement and correct old theories, while undue mistrusts towards them are detrimental to further development.总体而言我觉得跑题了,说权威说的太多,虽然权威也是专家带来的一种后果。但我怎么老觉得你像在写“是否应该质疑权威“的issue捏?

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板凳
发表于 2004-2-16 13:24:25 |只看该作者
第一句?呵呵,限时写的嘛,不能挑剔.不过还是不要养成这种中文表达而且狂罗嗦的习惯.
Should we trust or distrust experts?可也
记住:没有mistrust这个词!!!此外,advocate属于用词不当.你可以用以下几个词:respect;revere,magnify,extol等等!

一个建议:你还是自己先改一下再帖上来吧,要不错误太多没法下手.呵呵
write and rivise, again and again.

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地板
发表于 2004-2-16 14:06:28 |只看该作者
What attitude should we hold towards experts, totally advocate or suspiciously mistrust? I think too much(这个能做宾语从句主语么?) on either side can cause some problems. The theories and principles established by the experts in every fields (field)should be treated properly, because they are(强调句?It is?) the outcome of professional scholars' efforts that should be valued, while they may still have some limitations and errors.

It is necessary for us to suspect about the authorities that have been established by experts, in that only if old and flawed authority(这里谈得是权威的观点,并没有说权威被推翻会怎么样,是他们的观点) is repudiated can new and advanced one be established. Copernicus' heliocentric theory in the 16th century was a direct attack to the universally accepted one -- geocentric system which was advocated by Aristotle. Although the old theory was so stubborn in people's mind that Copernicus encountered serious adverse(adversity) on the way to the new principle(是在新观点的推广上遇到了困难,而不是新观点本身), he persisted and did not give up. His theory was a breakthrough in human's knowledge about the cosmic, however it was questioned and denounced again by Galileo, who claimed that the sun is only the center of solar system, rather than the center of the whole cosmic. After accumulative observations and experiments, people gradually realized that Galileo 's theory was advanced and(a) correct one. We can see from the development of a series (of)theories that, suspicious attitude towards experts and authorities enable us to find out the drawbacks and blunders of them in order to develop fresh and advanced ones.
看完这段再回头看TS,是不是repudiate这个词有得有点大了。整体论证都不错。

Besides, it is an effective way to perfect and enrich the authorities by questioning experts' opinions and theories(这句不太理解,难道权威要自己怀疑自己么?). With the development of the societies, some authorities about(on) technologies and science have to be adjusted and supplemented. For example, the results of certain scientific experiments could be much more exact and acute(accurate?) if high-technical methods and equipments are used. Also, it is quite necessary to supplement or adjust the historical sources and records if some invaluable artifacts are (planned to?很费解的说)unearthed. The former(previous) comprehension about the period of history which the artifacts belong to may have to change.

However, undue suspicions and mistrusts towards experts and their opinions are harmful to our research as well as our society. There is no denying that many theories and authorities have been tested and warranted by thousands of experiments and numerous experts. These theories are the foundation and effective tools of further research and exploration. Had we mistrust everything that is useful and worth trusting, we may be bogged down in confusion(这个表达好,学习ing) and may not be able to gain any achievement.

In sum, we should hold an(a) fairy(这个词不合适吧) and objective attitude towards the experts and their authorities. Reasonable suspicions and questions are necessary to supplement and correct old theories, while undue mistrusts towards them are detrimental to further development.(结尾写得好)
先提一个建议,写完还是在word里自己先改一遍,一些简单的语法错误像冠词、主谓一致完全可以自己查出来的。

整体来看很有效果,++-的论证很有层次感。能在这么短时间用这么多很考究的搭配让人佩服。

文中用了大量的并列结构,不过有一处我没明白,你指得experts和authorities到底是个什么关系,很晕的说。
There is nothing lost

That may be found

If sought

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发表于 2004-2-16 14:49:17 |只看该作者
这个开头我很喜欢,四平八稳的。文中用了很多并列结构,的确可以显示一定的语言功底,但有啰嗦之嫌,适当的应一个词表达就行。如:“questioned and denounced “ 可以简化成“challenge”

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发表于 2004-2-16 15:36:53 |只看该作者
Although the old theory was so stubborn in people's mind that Copernicus encountered serious adverse on the way to the new principle, he persisted and did not give up.
这句话感觉意思有点混乱,人们思想的固执就导致了哥白尼的发现?是不是这样改一下呢?
although Copernicus developed the theory different from the old one stubborn in people's mind greatly ,he still persisted an did not give up.

另外感觉文章混淆了expert和authority的概念,我觉得这一点一定要写对

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发表于 2004-2-16 20:17:54 |只看该作者

十分感谢大家的指点!!!

首先十分感谢有这么多人帮我看文章!! 感动ing... :)

自我检讨一下,确实是不应该在没有任何改动的情况下就把文章贴出来,让大家费神了!!!

我在看的时候冷汗一阵阵地出 :( ,确实从大家的批评中学到很多!!!

1.首先说一下experts 和 authorities. 写的时候着急,的确想当然地把这两个概念等同起来了,是有点偷换概念了!专家比权威的范围大得多,专家只是专门研究某一领域的学者,而权威是需要经过大多数人认可和实践的检验的.

2.其次是关于并列结构,我自己觉得一个是比较能够表达深入的意思,另外一个也是因为一计时就着急,赶着凑字数,就用得太多了.... :(

3.Although the old theory was so stubborn in people's mind that Copernicus encountered serious adverse on the way to the new principle, he persisted and did not give up.
这一句,gdhdanny说得对,应该改成...on the way to make the new principle accepted by others....
harrison_bai说"人们思想的固执就导致了哥白尼的发现",我想表达的不是这个意思,而是说尽管人们固执的思想使哥白尼遇到了很艰难的困境,但他还是没有放弃对旧理论的质疑和对新理论的坚持.

4.Besides, it is an effective way to perfect and enrich the authorities(改成theories更好) by questioning experts' opinions and theories(这句不太理解,难道权威要自己怀疑自己么?).
这句的确写得不好,我是想说随着科技的进步,旧的理论应该被完善和补充.这样改一下吧:
Besides, with the everlasting development of sicence and technology, it is essential to enrich and supplement the old theories with the help of more advanced methods and equipments.

5.crusade说第二段"觉得有点头晕,你到底想说老伽怀疑老哥,还是老哥怀疑老亚还是想指出一种趋势?"
我是想说一种新推翻旧的过程.也是得到真理的过程,必然要经过质疑和否定旧理论的阶段.

以上是我的一些想法,请大家指正!

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RE: issue68 第一篇限时,没有改动,感觉不好,请大家指正! [修改]

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issue68 第一篇限时,没有改动,感觉不好,请大家指正!
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-167070-1-1.html
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