Issue124 费了好多时间，请大家抛石头！谢谢！

libbyUID: 151455

124. Instant foods, instant communication, faster transportation-all of these recent developments are designed to save time. Ironically, though, instead of making more leisure time available, these developments have contributed to a pace of human affairs that is more rushed and more frantic than ever before.
15:12
With the progress of the society, the pace of living is increasingly rapid shows these aspects such as snack food, telephone communication, airplane transportation. It is self-evident that such developments could help people save their time and work more efficiently. However somebody asserts that these developments contribute to the increase of the pace of human affairs rushed and frantic rather than making more leisure time. It is far away from the truth.

In contemporary society, the rapid pace of life make people have more leisure time available so that people could do more amusing activities and relax themselves. Take the snack food as an example; why does the snack be popular among people? The chief reason is it could help people save their time because people could buy the snack immediately, take it away and avoid staying there to wait for the food. Thus, people could save the time to have nap at noon, or prepare for work that would be done in the afternoon. Similarly, the faster transportation also save more time; for instance, before the advent of airplane, it would take 7 to 10 days from American to Europe by boat, while it only needs several hours by airplane nowadays. People could spend the time saved to deal with other things like having a trip, or staying home for relaxation. Thus, it is no denying that modern developments like instant food, instant communication contribute people to own more leisure time.

Further, such developments facilitate people to cope with their affairs easily and quickly. In the past, people could make a long trip to manage their business; such as one company wanted to order some products, it had to send some persons (staffers) to other districts in order to research the market and learn about the quality of the products. But nowadays, people could order and buy the products through Internet and keep contact with another company through （请问这里要不要加the啊？）telephone or telegraph. Consequently the affairs have been more and more simple and easy to solve. At the same time, people could complete their tasks in a short time.

It still must be admitted that these development also render people work in a serious pressure because they must keep up with the pace of immediate action, otherwise they could fail. Since the roaring development of science and technology, the human affairs seem to be more rushed and frantic, but actually people themselves make the lives like so but not the instant foods, instant communication, faster transportation because they are only tools to deal with life.

It is true that the pace of life has been increased with the progress of the society, but it is not the fault of the instant foods, instant communication, or faster transportation. On the contrary, these developments contribute to people have more leisure time to relax themselves.

这篇写的我头都疼，没办法学工的，很多地方不知道怎样表达，我本来想举想在人们的工作时间已经比以前少了很多来说明的但不知道怎样将这个例子详细阐述，都不会举形象生动的例子，请大家帮忙找点啊！！

apolloxpUID: 156355

With the progress of the society, the pace of living is increasingly rapid shows these aspects such as snack food, telephone communication, airplane transportation. It is self-evident that such developments could help people save their time and work more efficiently. However（这里要加豆号） somebody asserts that these developments contribute to the increase of the pace of human affairs rushed and frantic rather than making more leisure time. It is far away from（感觉far away就可以了） the truth.

In contemporary society, the rapid pace of life make people have more leisure time available so that people could do more amusing activities and relax themselves. Take the snack food as an example; why does the snack be popular among people? The chief reason is （这里要加that）it could help people save their time because people could buy the snack immediately, take it away and avoid staying there to wait for the food. Thus, people could save the time to have nap at noon, or prepare for work that would be done in the afternoon. Similarly, the faster transportation also save more time; for instance, before the advent of airplane, it would take 7 to 10 days from American to Europe by boat, while it only needs several hours by airplane nowadays. People could （用can，这里没有表示过去也没有虚拟）spend the time saved to deal with other things like having a trip, or staying home for relaxation. Thus, it is no denying that modern developments like（such as ） instant food, instant communication contribute people to own more leisure time.（contribute ms不是这样用的，推荐这样写contribute to more leisure time for people）

Further, such developments facilitate people to cope with their affairs easily and quickly. In the past, people could make a long trip to manage their business; such as （缺if）one company wanted to order some products, it had to send some persons (staffers) to other districts in order to research the market and learn about the quality of the products. But nowadays, people could （没有过去或虚拟的意思，可以用can，不过could好像用的很多，这里推荐用be able to）order and buy the products through Internet and keep contact with another company through （请问这里要不要加the啊？应该不要吧）telephone or telegraph. Consequently the affairs have been more and more simple and easy to solve. At the same time, people could（改成are able to） complete their tasks in a short time.

It still must be admitted that these development also render people work in a serious pressure because they must keep up with the pace of immediate action, otherwise they could fail. Since the roaring development of science and technology, the human affairs seem to be more rushed and frantic, but actually people themselves make the lives like so（so不能做代词，this） but（but不要了） not the instant foods, instant communication, faster transportation because they are only tools to deal with life.

It is true that the pace of life has been increased with the progress of the society, but it is not the fault of the instant foods, instant communication, or faster transportation. On the contrary, these developments contribute（这里改法和前面相同） to people have more leisure time to relax themselves（是不是enjoy their life更好一点）.

雪夭UID: 142334

124. Instant foods, instant communication, faster transportation-all of these recent developments are designed to save time. Ironically, though, instead of making more leisure time available, these developments have contributed to a pace of human affairs that is more rushed and more frantic than ever before.
15:12
With the progress of the society, the pace of living is increasingly rapid shows两个动词 these aspects such as snack food, telephone communication, airplane transportation. It is self-evident that such developments could help people save their time and work more efficiently. However somebody这个人不就是出题人么？speaker好了啊 asserts that these developments contribute to the increase of the pace of human affairs rushed and frantic rather than making more leisure time. 这里是不是有转折的意思啊It is far away from the truth.

In contemporary society, the rapid pace of life make people have more leisure time available so that people could do more amusing activities and relax themselves. Take the snack food as an example; why does the snack be（does,又be？？） popular among people? The chief reason is thatit could help people save their time because people could buy the snack immediately, take it away and avoid ofstaying there to wait for the food. Thus, people could save the time to have nap at noon, or prepare for work that would be done in the afternoon. Similarly, the faster transportation also save more time; for instance, before the advent of airplane, it would take 7 to 10 days from American to Europe by boat, while it only needs several hours by airplane nowadays. People could spend the time saved to deal with other things like having a trip, or staying home for relaxation. Thus, it is no denying that modern developments like instant food, instant communication contribute people to own more leisure time.

Further, such developments facilitate people to cope with their affairs easily and quickly. In the past, people could make a long trip to manage their business; such as one company wanted to order some products, it had to send some persons (staffers)staff to other districts in order to research the market and learn about the quality of the products. But nowadays, people could order and buy the products through Internet and keep contact with another company through （请问这里要不要加the啊？）不用吧？？telephone or telegraph. Consequently the affairs have been more and more simple and easy to solve. At the same time, people could complete their tasks in a short time.

It still must be admitted that these developments also render people work in aunder serious pressure because they must keep up with the pace of immediate action, otherwise they could mightfail. Since the roaring development of science and technology, the human affairs seem to be more rushed and frantic, but actually people themselves make the lives like so but not the instant foods, instant communication, faster transportation because they are only tools to deal with life.这段主题不明确，有点乱，好象是为了写最后段写的，你可以再展开

It is true that the pace of life has been increased with the progress of the society, but it is not the fault of the instant foods, instant communication, or faster transportation. On the contrary, these developments contribute to people have more leisure time to relax themselves.结尾的层次最好以前面的结构为主
这个题目是比较具体的，例子好举，所以你最好深入点写，从句上面注意点啊

这篇写的我头都疼，没办法学工的，很多地方不知道怎样表达，我本来想举想在人们的工作时间已经比以前少了很多来说明的但不知道怎样将这个例子详细阐述，都不会举形象生动的例子，请大家帮忙找点啊！！

rukawaUID: 156277

. Instant foods, instant communication, faster transportation-all of these recent developments are designed to save time. Ironically, though, instead of making more leisure time available, these developments have contributed to a pace of human affairs that is more rushed and more frantic than ever before.
15:12
With the progress of the society, the pace of living is increasingly rapid shows these aspects such as snack food, telephone communication, airplane transportation.（语法不对吧） It is self-evident that such developments could help people save their time and work more efficiently. However somebody asserts that these developments contribute to the increase of the pace of human affairs rushed and frantic rather than making more leisure time.（句子太乱） It is far away from the truth

In contemporary society, the rapid pace of life make people have more leisure time available so that people could do more amusing activities and relax themselves. Take the snack food as an example; why does the snack be popular among people?（这是在中国吧，在美国好象肯德基都被视为垃圾食品） The chief reason is it could help people save their time because people could buy the snack immediately, take it away and avoid staying there to wait for the food. （更重要的是可以节省自己做花的时间吧）Thus, people could save the time to have nap at noon, or prepare for work that would be done in the afternoon. Similarly, the faster transportation also save more time; for instance, before the advent of airplane, it would take 7 to 10 days from American to Europe by boat, while it only needs several hours by airplane nowadays. People could spend the time saved to deal with other things like having a trip, or staying home for relaxation. Thus, it is no denying that modern developments like instant food, instant communication contribute people to own more leisure time.

Further, such developments facilitate people to cope with their affairs easily and quickly. In the past, people could make a long trip to manage their business; such as one company wanted to order some products, it had to send some persons (staffers) to other districts in order to research the market and learn about the quality of the products. But nowadays, people could order and buy the products through Internet and keep contact with another company through telephone or telegraph. Consequently the affairs have been more and more simple and easy to solve. At the same time, people could complete their tasks in a（加个relatively或者much会不会好点） short time.

It still must be admitted that these development also render people work in a serious pressure because they must keep up with the pace of immediate action, otherwise they could fail. Since the roaring development of science and technology, the human affairs seem to be more rushed and frantic, but actually ( 加上it is强调语气会不会好一点)people themselves make the lives like so but not the instant foods, instant communication, faster transportation because they are only tools to deal with life.

It is true that the pace of life has been increased with the progress of the society, but it is not the fault of the instant foods, instant communication, or faster transportation. On the contrary, these developments contribute to people have more leisure time to relax themselves.

没有强有力的例子说明contribute to people have more leisure time to relax themselves.
这个观点很新颖，但是说服力不强

libbyUID: 151455

apolloxp
雪夭
rukawa
真的很感谢你们对我作文的批改！我给你们BOW了！！！
耽误了你们不少时间吧！谢谢了！
你们的意见对我很有帮助，我们一起努力拿下ETS！
以后大家多多合作，谢了！