- 最后登录
- 2007-10-6
- 在线时间
- 0 小时
- 寄托币
- 3630
- 声望
- 0
- 注册时间
- 2003-10-22
- 阅读权限
- 30
- 帖子
- 0
- 精华
- 4
- 积分
- 1180
- UID
- 147842
 
- 声望
- 0
- 寄托币
- 3630
- 注册时间
- 2003-10-22
- 精华
- 4
- 帖子
- 0
|
Issue 142 "The well-being of a society is enhanced when many of its people question authority."
There(用it是不是更好) is a complicated and controversial issue about whether people should question authority. Some people hold the opinion that one should always agree with the authority, others, however, contradict this opinion and maintain that people should question authority at any time. Personally, I believe that questioning authority brings benefits and improvement to society and I would like to present some evidences in the following analysis.(我考托福时就用的这种开头方式,some,others,personally。不过我想这种开头方式未免显得有点俗气了。:))
First of all, as we all know, there are many authorities in all kinds of field. For example, in scientific and technological region, many famous scientists are the authority if they have made important discoveries in their research field or made great contributions to the progress of society. And in sports region, such as in NBA games, some excellent players who have achieved a lot of champions and accomplishment(s) become the authority. Michael Jordan is one of them. Therefore, in a society as ours, there are authorities everywhere.(这个世界上有权威人士并不能说明就该挑战权威啊,似乎不能构成一个evidence吧。)
In addition, it is my belief(个人的想法最好不用来说明这么关键的分论点) that authorities are not always right. The main reason for my standpoint is that one could not avoid making mistakes even if he(or she) usually performs very well. To see this reason clearly, there is a very persuasive example: Einstein, one of the greatest physical scientist in the 20 century, was famous because of his great relative theory, however, he found that there are some limitation and deficiency in his theory in his late years. We could understand why this condition may happen, because people cannot never(别扭) make mistakes and it is not because they never make mistakes that they become famous.(略显单薄,再深入一些吧。)
Last but not least, a society would be improved if many of its people often question authority. It is not difficult to find that the ideas of authority are usually very important to the development in his region, and thus if the authority made some mistakes they would be very influential to this area(,too). If we can find these errors in time, we would make very important achievements and even save the lives. Only if we dare to question the theory of authorities, can we make progress and then the society can(can the society) be improved. Moreover, the progress of society depends on the creative ability of people in the society, and questioning authority is a kind of reflection to the creative ability. Thus, if we would like to make progress, we should think completely about problems and dare to question authority.
In conclusion, due to analysis and reasons discussed above, which(要紧跟修饰的词) sometimes correlate with each other to form an organic whole and thus make it more convincing than any one of them(没太读懂), we may safely arrive at the conclusion that questioning authority contributes to the progress of a society and we all should have this spirit.
感觉文章通篇论证不是很充分,显得单薄,最好把思路再打开些。当然我是菜鸟,思路很窄,有待培养。你可以看看一些资料上写的啊。 |
|