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[求助] 综合写作字数多一些好?帮忙分析下我得fair的原因好吗? [复制链接]

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发表于 2013-12-11 22:14:16 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
12月1日刚考的托福
写作24 综合是fair 独立是good
考试时我写了240字左右(一开始写了220字左右 看时间有多又添了两句话)

下面是我在考试前写的 TPO27的综合
The reading attempts to explain the emergence of the Little Ice Age with three theories. Nonetheless, the lecturer negates the validity of all these theories, pointing out their defects.

To begin with, the reading suggests that the Little Ice Age should be attributed to the large amount of freshwater running into the Gulf Stream. However, the lecturer argues that recent research has proved that the Gulf Stream can only affect Europe and North America. Thus, it turns out that the first theory neglects the fact that the southern hemisphere was in cold temperature as well.

Further, despite the statements in the reading that volcanic eruption lowered the global temperature, the lecturer contends that it is not the case. According to the lecturer, if the second theory was true, people should have observed evidence of severe volcanic events in that period such as grey snow. Nevertheless, no signs shows that the phenomena described in the reading have actually happened, making this theory dubious at best.

Finally, the lecturer asserts that it is impossible for forest trees to cause the Little Ice Age. Because of the rapid recovery of human populations, there was not enough time for trees to make significant influences on the climate. Thus, the third theory that trees reduce greenhouse effect is not realistic.

215单词

我之前练习写的都跟这篇差不多的

所以想请各位分析下 我的主要问题是什么 有什么建议吗?

我这周日还会再考一次托福 所以各位的建议很重要

谢谢!
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沙发
发表于 2013-12-11 22:27:51 |只看该作者
综合写作得fair肯定是漏掉了一些听力中的点,字数不是很重要,你把听力中的点都写到了,字数自然也不会少。

综合写作建议自己改一下,对照听力原文,看自己漏掉了哪些点,尽量把主要的点记下来,一些很细节的例子之类的真的记不下也没办法

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板凳
发表于 2013-12-11 22:29:00 |只看该作者
分数和rank和你是完全一样的,但是我很清楚综合分低是因为听力漏点了。

另外,虽然很弱但是很有把握说只要达到225和300,请无视字数

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地板
发表于 2013-12-11 22:50:59 |只看该作者
luketc3580 发表于 2013-12-11 22:27
综合写作得fair肯定是漏掉了一些听力中的点,字数不是很重要,你把听力中的点都写到了,字数自然也不会少。 ...

嗯 那就是说要尽量听出多少lecturer的support sentences 就要体现在文章里啊
我发现自己练习的时候有的时候会“自动”挑主要的话写,看样子应该是听力内容表达上出了问题

谢谢

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发表于 2013-12-11 22:53:08 |只看该作者
HardyNibor 发表于 2013-12-11 22:29
分数和rank和你是完全一样的,但是我很清楚综合分低是因为听力漏点了。

另外,虽然很弱但是很有把握说只 ...

好的
考试的时候 别人都在那边疯狂打字 就我很早写完了还停在那里
看样子字数不是关键 关键是漏点了

谢谢

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发表于 2013-12-12 02:37:38 |只看该作者
我以前综合一直fair,1201考试作文25,综合good 独立fair,所以说我综合分数应该不错~

我总结和之前的区别,
1听力的点,详细阐述,两句话能说决不一句话
2开头段落列举了reading的三个点
3增加了结尾。

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发表于 2013-12-12 10:13:52 |只看该作者
其实漏点只是一种可能。看到fair右边那一大堆points了没?漏点是第一个,其他的再对照一下吧

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发表于 2013-12-12 11:05:07 |只看该作者
cjyNel 发表于 2013-12-11 22:50
嗯 那就是说要尽量听出多少lecturer的support sentences 就要体现在文章里啊
我发现自己练习的时候有的时 ...

对呀,要尽量全部记下来,挑主要的写肯定不行的

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发表于 2013-12-15 22:33:24 |只看该作者
楼主写的逻辑有点跳,下面是我今天写的,自己水平也有限,仅供参考,希望对你有用
In the lecture, the professor is skeptical about the reading idea that disruption of Gulf Stream, volcanic eruption, and forest trees caused the Little Ice Age. The professor says the reading's idea is out-of-date, and none of these ideas account for the cause of Little Ice Age.
First, the professor disproves that the disruption of Gulf Stream caused the Little Ice Age. Because this disruption only happened in the Northern hemisphere, like Europe and North America, but the Little Ice Age also happened in the Southern hemisphere, like New Zealand and Australia. So if the disruption want to cause the Little Ice Age, it must happened in both Northern and Southern hemispheres. Since it only happened in one hemisphere, it cannot be the cause of Little Ice Age.
Then, the professor disagrees with the idea that volcanic eruption is the reason of Little Ice Age. The professor points out that if volcanic eruption is the reason, there must had a great amount of dust which would cause a striking visual phenomenon. For example, the snow would become grey or brown. Since there was no such report, these volcanic eruption was not strong enough to cause the Little Ice Age.
Finally, the professor argues that the forest trees cannot be the cause of the Little Ice Age. Although the human populations did decrease for a time, it grew back to prior level quickly. And then a lot of trees were cut for growing crops. So the time left trees was not longer enough to led the decrease of greenhouse gas, since it needs a long time for trees to cause a cooling effect.

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发表于 2013-12-16 18:21:15 |只看该作者
dushi792 发表于 2013-12-15 22:33
楼主写的逻辑有点跳,下面是我今天写的,自己水平也有限,仅供参考,希望对你有用
In the lecture, the pr ...

额 还真有这问题 一直没发现。。。

谢谢

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发表于 2013-12-17 18:52:42 |只看该作者
综合写作就是听得点越详细,越多,分数越高~

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RE: 综合写作字数多一些好?帮忙分析下我得fair的原因好吗? [修改]
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综合写作字数多一些好?帮忙分析下我得fair的原因好吗?
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