Issue61 （同学今天的机警，第一次按时完成，但是感觉很不好，字树也差了，气愤中）

fenghua8385UID: 137789

Issue61 High-profit awards such as the Nobel Prize are actually damaging to society because they suggest that only a few people deserve such recognition.


Nowadays, some people arguer that high-profit awards are damaging to society since only a few people could win them. However, it is because the high-profit awards that help to improve the scientific development and the well-beings of people in the society. As far as I'm concerned, high-profit awards are necessary and are beneficial to the society.

The purpose of high-profit awards is to encourage people's hard-working towards difficult tasks or scientific researches. Confucius--one of the greatest philosophers in China--when remarking of high-profit awards said, “Highly awards makes a brave man.”This means that the encouragement of high-profit awards can stimulate people's desire to work hard for the awards and take every possible means to achieve the goal. In this way, one's potential capabilities can be best taken out, and the belief of winning the awards may support him/her to last until the last minute. That's why schools erect high-profit scholarships for well-rounded students, and why countries place great amount of money on Scientific Research Awards. With the purpose of winning these awards, people are more likely to achieve great success.

The high-profit awards are actually quite beneficial to the society for people who win the awards much have made great contribution to the human-beings. High-profit awards are conferred only to those who distinguish themselves from others by their great contributions. For instance, Nobel Prize can only be conferred to the most gifted people in the whole world. Around 6 billion human-beings of the world, the people being awarded every year are only about 100, and every one of them significantly contributes to the society's development or brings fundamental benefits to people. Thomas Edison brought light to the world; Albert Einstein established the framework of Physics; and Francis Bacon enlightened the world with literature. These men surely deserved the high-profit awards.

Admittedly, when establishing the system of awarding, people should take the overall people and the amount of award into consideration. It would be more advisable if both highly awards and average awards could coexist. High-profit awards are for those who made significant contributions; meanwhile, average awards can be conducive to encourage the enthusiasm of all the people in the society. In this way, the development of all aspects of the society would be greatly increased.

In conclusion, high-profit awards are beneficial rather than detrimental to the society. Moreover, if high-profit awards and average awards can be effectively coordinated, the benefits they bring would be as magnificent as one can imagine.



45  分钟

sniper613UID: 147372

Issue61（同学今天的机警，第一次按时完成，但是感觉很不好，字树也差了，气愤中）
Issue61 High-profit awards such as the Nobel Prize are actually damaging to society because they suggest that only a few people deserve such recognition.


Nowadays, some people arguer that high-profit awards are damaging to society since only a few people could win them. However, it is because the high-profit awards that help to improve the scientific development and the well-beings of people in the society. As far as I'm concerned, high-profit awards are necessary and are beneficial to the society. (开头很通顺，TS也很明显)

The purpose of high-profit awards is（are） to encourage people's hard-working towards difficult tasks or scientific researches. Confucius--one of the greatest philosophers in China--when remarking of high-profit awards said, “Highly awards makes（make）a brave man.”(记得加空格)This means that the encouragement of high-profit awards can stimulate people's desire to work hard for the awards and take every possible means to achieve the goal. In this way, one's potential capabilities can be best taken out, and the belief of winning the awards may support him/her to last until the last minute. That's why schools erect high-profit scholarships for well-rounded students, and why countries place great amount of money on Scientific Research Awards. With the purpose of winning these awards, people are more likely to achieve great success. (论证很好，例子也很恰当)

The high-profit awards are actually quite beneficial to the society for people who win the awards much have made great contribution to the human-beings(human beings). High-profit awards are conferred only to those who distinguish themselves from others by their great contributions. For instance, Nobel Prize can only be conferred to the most gifted people in the whole world. Around 6 billion human-beings(human beings) of the world, the people being awarded every year are only about 100, and every one of them significantly contributes to the society's development or brings fundamental benefits to people. Thomas Edison brought light to the world; Albert Einstein established the framework of Physics; and Francis Bacon enlightened the world with literature. These men surely deserved the high-profit awards. （例子后面最好还是加上一两句论述或者总结性的语句吧）

Admittedly, when establishing the system of awarding, people should take the overall people and the amount of award into consideration. It would be more advisable if both highly awards and average awards could coexist. High-profit awards are for those who made significant contributions; meanwhile, average awards can be conducive to encourage the enthusiasm of all the people in the society. In this way, the development of all aspects of the society would be greatly increased.

In conclusion, high-profit awards are beneficial rather than detrimental to the society. Moreover, if high-profit awards and average awards can be effectively coordinated, the benefits they bring would be as magnificent as one can imagine.
总的来说，这片ISSUE写的很好，例子、论证很合理，继续努力，前途一片光明！
但字数似乎少了些，只有400来字，但可以在开头和结尾加上去。

菜鸟意见，仅供参考。

fenghua8385UID: 137789

sniper613，非常感谢！

引号后加空格我确实没注意过！太感谢了！

字树是440。  但是开头结尾不知道怎么加啊。。。总觉得话重复来重复去的

我想，大概是我第3，4段写少了
但是鳖不出话来：（
郁闷！


字树这次是写的最少的，平时大概４８０－５００
但是写时一点也没感觉到我这次写的比平时少啊５５５５５为什么～～～

sniper613UID: 147372

第三段的字数还可以，而且已经论证的比较充分了，没有必要再画蛇添足了
结尾段太少了，可以参考一下别人的issue,有些句子是万能的，在哪加都可以。
标点后一定要记得加空格，不然比较吃亏

fenghua8385UID: 137789

FT 死了
刚才想了半天 还是不知道怎么填充内容

为什么我总觉得没话说啊! :(

jennyleileiUID: 113742

说完一个例子后可以正反论证一下
比如说这样做了会怎么怎么样，不做又怎么怎么样……
虽然是很无聊，但字数会多起来，而且偶看ETS范文的时候都是这样白痴地写下来的
全当是凑字数用吧
GOOD LUCK FOR U 3。8

fenghua8385UID: 137789

最初由 jennyleilei 发布
[B]说完一个例子后可以正反论证一下
比如说这样做了会怎么怎么样，不做又怎么怎么样……
虽然是很无聊，但字数会多起来，而且偶看ETS范文的时候都是这样白痴地写下来的
全?.

以下省略...... [/B]

GOOD IDEA！！ :D