Issue6，请斑竹和朋友们指教！

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6 ."The most effective way to understand contemporary culture is to analyze the trends of its youth."

  Many sociologists and students want to understand contemporary culture,but just how can they?And then which is the most effective way?The author suggests the analysis of the trends of the culture's youth to be the best approach.Though this is true any way,there are other effective approaches as well.

  No doubt that the trends of the youth can reflect the culture of the society.It is partly because the younger generation is more open-minded,and eagerer to absorb newly emergent stuffs. No other groups in a society rather than the youth can always stand on the top of the cultural surge,leading the culture behind them.Just take the most significant tool dominant in our everday life,that is computer,for example.The original users are students from universities in need of such advanced machines to gain access to the most up-to-date research achievements.Soon afterwards,computers come to every corner our life with great influence.This example demonstrates the leading role of the youth in contemporary culture reasonably.

  However,the interests of the youth are sometimes misleading,to which we should pay attention.As the experiences of the youth are not as rich as those of the adults and the senior,they often go the wrong way without realizing it.Often the case is that the trends of the youth vary from time to time,many of which vanish quickly after birth,such as the clothes they wear and change every season.As a result,just reaching a conclusion in culture simply on the basis of the youth proves superficial sometimes.

  On the other hand,other ways to dip into the contemporary culture are also effective.Firsly,history is of great importance to us humans.Undoubtedly our culture is based on the long history before,which passes the forrunners' wisdom and intelligence down to us.What Newton once said is the best demonstration:"I have succeeded,because I stand on the shoulder of ancestors!".Secondly,we can turn to seniors and adults for help.They have struggled a long time during their lives,aware of many aspects of the society with deep insight.It surprises no one that they have more authorites over the issue of contemporary culture.

  In sum,there are many effective ways to understand contemporary culture and not a single one along can achieve that goal.So to argue which is the most effective if of no great significance.What we should do is to combine different approaches,look into different aspects of the culture,and come to a reasonable conclusion on the basis of all of  ways mentioned above.

dezhiUID: 156141

本文思路的展开有没有什么问题？各段的组织有没有什么不妥之处？
希望没有跑题！

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6 ."The most effective way to understand contemporary culture is to analyze the trends of its youth."

Many sociologists and students want to understand contemporary culture,but just how can they?And then which is the most effective way?The author suggests the analysis of the trends of the culture's youth to be the best approach.Though this is true any way,there are other effective approaches as well.
开头提出观点：还有其他有效的方法分析当代文化。比较简洁

No doubt that the trends of the youth can reflect the culture of the society.It is partly because the younger generation is more open-minded,and eagerer to absorb newly emergent stuffs. No other groups in a society rather than the youth can always stand on the top of the cultural surge,leading the culture behind them.Just take the most significant tool dominant in our everday life,that is computer,that is 可以去掉，直接用COMPUTER做同位语for example.The original users are students from universities in need of such advanced machines to gain access to the most up-to-date research achievements.Soon afterwards,computers come to every corner our of life with great influence.This example demonstrates the leading role of the youth in contemporary culture reasonably.
这个计算机的例子解释的不是很清楚。计算机最初是为了给科学家进行科学研究用的。它的家用的普及应该是MICROSOFT或BILL GATES的功劳。可以这样说：BILL GATES所以能成功推广PC，就是因为他的产品适合年轻人的胃口。

However,the interests of the youth are sometimes misleading,to which we should pay attention.As the experiences of the youth are not as rich as those of the adults and the senior,they often go the wrong way without realizing it.这个CLAIM没有证据来证明啊。怎样叫走错路呢 ？文化中什么叫对？什么叫错呢？以什么为标准呢？Often the case is that the trends of the youth vary from time to time,many of which vanish quickly after birth,such as the clothes they wear and change every season.潮流的多变可以看作是当代文化的一部分啊，为什么文化就不能经常变呢？又不是传统文化。 As a result,just reaching a conclusion in culture simply on the basis of the youth proves superficial sometimes.同样没有理由或例子来证明你这句话


On the other hand,other ways to dip into the contemporary culture are also effective.Firsly,history is of great importance to us humans. Undoubtedly our culture is based on the long history beforeBEFORE这个词多余，HISTORY有是AFTER的吗？,which passes the forrunners' wisdom and intelligence down to us.What Newton once said is the best demonstration:"I have succeeded,because I stand on the shoulder of ancestors!".这句是原话吗？不是的话就是加上 I PARAPHRAISE 。另外牛顿的这句是说他的科学研究啊，和文化离的有点远。 Secondly,we can turn to seniors and adults for help.FOR HELP这词太笼统了 They have struggled a long time during their lives,aware of many aspects of the society with deep insight.It surprises no one that they have more authorites over the issue of contemporary culture.
感觉这里论证不充分。你要对当代文化先下个定义，然后再说会好一些。没有明确的定义，我可以这样反驳你：当代文化就是指存在于当代，和传统的那些不同的文化，所以老年人是无法很好的理解当代文化的。

In sum,there are many effective ways to understand contemporary culture and not a single one along can achieve that goal.So to argue which is the most effective if of no great significance.What we should do is to combine different approaches,look into different aspects of the culture,and come to a reasonable conclusion on the basis of all of ways mentioned above.
总的来说语言还可以，立论也比较有深度。但是在论证上没有达到效果。建议刚开始练的时候以偏向一方为主，然后做些让步，这样写起来比较好驾御。等到水平提高很多后，再写这种完全中庸，或者说是综合的立场。
另外注意思想的逻辑性和严密性，每个分论点应该都是被充分证明的。同时注意到你提出的论点别人都有可能反对，要尽量的把自己的论点保护好。继续努力！

个人意见，仅供参考。